Winter Reflections 2023
I think most of us initially come to yoga and meditation to improve our lives and to make ourselves feel better. In general, our lives are chaotic and we want to “control” the busyness of our mind. But, it’s not until we recognize the interconnectedness of all things that we can gently guide our mind towards equanimity instead of controlling it. We work so hard to manage the Me, Me, Me orientation of self, yet recognizing the suffering of others and taking compassionate action to help is what actually expands our practice and removes the separateness that makes us feel alone. This is Bodhicitta, the awakened heart-mind. When we arrive for practice, actually slow down, come into the present moment and cultivate a heartfelt motivation that what we intend to do is not only for ourselves (which is important) but more importantly, for the benefit of all beings, we come into union, balance, evenness, presence, serenity and ultimately emptiness. This takes time, patience and dedication.
The word equanimity, Upeksha in Pali provokes a variety of interpretations; one of which is passivity but I’m not particularly fond of this definition. Mostly because it evokes a feeling of non-action like wasting time and energy but perhaps I’m noticing my critical mind when I write about this aversion.
When I work with Equanimity, one of the 4 Immeasurables from the Mahayana tradition, I am able to feel intensity without being overwhelmed. Currently, I have many radical changes in my life all intersecting at once and I could potentially spiral into one or many afflictions but with the aspiration to wake up, practice and sangha, I feel supported and ok..Change is constant, suffering is ongoing and beauty is everywhere.
I am honored to work with a variety of people using the dharma as a guide to navigate and traverse the difficulties of life, old age, disease and death. At the same time, I so enjoy sharing the beauty, joys and ordinariness of this precious life.
The word equanimity, Upeksha in Pali provokes a variety of interpretations; one of which is passivity but I’m not particularly fond of this definition. Mostly because it evokes a feeling of non-action like wasting time and energy but perhaps I’m noticing my critical mind when I write about this aversion.
When I work with Equanimity, one of the 4 Immeasurables from the Mahayana tradition, I am able to feel intensity without being overwhelmed. Currently, I have many radical changes in my life all intersecting at once and I could potentially spiral into one or many afflictions but with the aspiration to wake up, practice and sangha, I feel supported and ok..Change is constant, suffering is ongoing and beauty is everywhere.
I am honored to work with a variety of people using the dharma as a guide to navigate and traverse the difficulties of life, old age, disease and death. At the same time, I so enjoy sharing the beauty, joys and ordinariness of this precious life.
Fall Reflections 2022
Autumn is my favorite time of year. I’m recently home after 10 days in northern California, where I lived for 13 years. Feeling both nostalgic for the past and grateful for the life that I have now.
While on the Sonoma Coast. I taught a retreat where we weaved Buddhist philosophy together with yoga and movement. Contemplative education using the body as a gateway to explore the heart-mind connection feels potent in our divided world. Our bodies, a trusted and reliable companion offers us cues and insight that sometimes get overlooked or ignored. Most of us feel disconnected, afraid, and alone in the troubled world we navigate.Yet, the tender heart and its potency are revealed when we are brave enough to tap into our vulnerability. Pilgrimage is a journey of leaving home, unplugging, leaving behind habitual tendencies, cultivating positive intentions, and embracing wholesome relationships. What I love the most about teaching are the amazing people that I meet along the way.
Going on a retreat is not a spa vacation, it’s work! But, it’s beautiful, rich, and fulfilling. Buddha Sakyamuni himself left home and all of his worldly possessions behind to seek enlightenment.
Of course, the modern-day retreat is much more comfortable than that of Buddha's journey. We typically don’t sleep in the woods carrying only the clothes on our bodies and beg for food. Instead, we actually eat fantastic food to nourish ourselves and sleep in lovely accommodations to support rest because the modern world, with all of its complexities is an easier place to live. But is it? The shared attachment alone to our electronic devices is enough to cause anxiety. Unplugging for even a short amount of time is both noteworthy and difficult but provides so much spaciousness.
After almost three years of isolation, mask-wearing, social distancing, limited travel, etc, it’s interesting to suddenly notice this shift back to normal. What is your normal? I know some introverts that still appreciate the accepted and valid excuse of not participating in a group event or an activity for fear of exposure to covid. Others couldn't wait to pull off their masks and move freely through an airport. Whatever your normal is currently, it's an adjustment.
I have so much gratitude for my Sangha. The last three years have been a deep dive into practice and study. As we emerge together to discover what's normal, let's celebrate life.
Autumn is my favorite time of year. I’m recently home after 10 days in northern California, where I lived for 13 years. Feeling both nostalgic for the past and grateful for the life that I have now.
While on the Sonoma Coast. I taught a retreat where we weaved Buddhist philosophy together with yoga and movement. Contemplative education using the body as a gateway to explore the heart-mind connection feels potent in our divided world. Our bodies, a trusted and reliable companion offers us cues and insight that sometimes get overlooked or ignored. Most of us feel disconnected, afraid, and alone in the troubled world we navigate.Yet, the tender heart and its potency are revealed when we are brave enough to tap into our vulnerability. Pilgrimage is a journey of leaving home, unplugging, leaving behind habitual tendencies, cultivating positive intentions, and embracing wholesome relationships. What I love the most about teaching are the amazing people that I meet along the way.
Going on a retreat is not a spa vacation, it’s work! But, it’s beautiful, rich, and fulfilling. Buddha Sakyamuni himself left home and all of his worldly possessions behind to seek enlightenment.
Of course, the modern-day retreat is much more comfortable than that of Buddha's journey. We typically don’t sleep in the woods carrying only the clothes on our bodies and beg for food. Instead, we actually eat fantastic food to nourish ourselves and sleep in lovely accommodations to support rest because the modern world, with all of its complexities is an easier place to live. But is it? The shared attachment alone to our electronic devices is enough to cause anxiety. Unplugging for even a short amount of time is both noteworthy and difficult but provides so much spaciousness.
After almost three years of isolation, mask-wearing, social distancing, limited travel, etc, it’s interesting to suddenly notice this shift back to normal. What is your normal? I know some introverts that still appreciate the accepted and valid excuse of not participating in a group event or an activity for fear of exposure to covid. Others couldn't wait to pull off their masks and move freely through an airport. Whatever your normal is currently, it's an adjustment.
I have so much gratitude for my Sangha. The last three years have been a deep dive into practice and study. As we emerge together to discover what's normal, let's celebrate life.
August Reflections 2022
My husband tells me that I’m the most impatient Buddhist he’s ever met. So, I laugh because there is truth to his observation. I like making plans in advance, organizing and finding resolve quickly while he has always been a “go with the flow” guy. For the most part, we tend to balance each other's scales.
Buddhists often use the ocean as a metaphor when describing meditation. The body is still and grounded, like the ocean floor. Our breath rises and falls like the swells on the surface of the ocean. And, thoughts swim around the edges of our minds like schools of fish. These metaphors provoke a feeling of resting in stillness. Even though there is movement in the ocean I often wonder about sinking below the waves and resting in the stillness below my own thoughts. Floating is the practice of letting go. Can we surrender and become one with the ocean? Stillness certainly does not mean that there is no movement. Real stillness coexists with movement. Thoughts come and go, and our breath rises and falls but we are able to remain calm in the middle of a storm. Meditating is actually the art of waiting. We need to keep at it and I think eventually stillness finds us.
Do you have the patience to wait
til your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?
-Lao Tzu
I just returned from Tara Mandala last week. This Green Tara Retreat was the first in-person retreat in almost three years. She represents swift-acting compassion and is the most relevant female Buddha in our troubled world. With the presence of Green Tara, we can be more grounded, receptive, and compassionate as we integrate these inherent qualities into our daily lives. Taking time out of our busy lives for retreat is undeniably profound. It offers a shift and a renewal in perspective and attitude. Come with me on retreat this Fall.
My husband tells me that I’m the most impatient Buddhist he’s ever met. So, I laugh because there is truth to his observation. I like making plans in advance, organizing and finding resolve quickly while he has always been a “go with the flow” guy. For the most part, we tend to balance each other's scales.
Buddhists often use the ocean as a metaphor when describing meditation. The body is still and grounded, like the ocean floor. Our breath rises and falls like the swells on the surface of the ocean. And, thoughts swim around the edges of our minds like schools of fish. These metaphors provoke a feeling of resting in stillness. Even though there is movement in the ocean I often wonder about sinking below the waves and resting in the stillness below my own thoughts. Floating is the practice of letting go. Can we surrender and become one with the ocean? Stillness certainly does not mean that there is no movement. Real stillness coexists with movement. Thoughts come and go, and our breath rises and falls but we are able to remain calm in the middle of a storm. Meditating is actually the art of waiting. We need to keep at it and I think eventually stillness finds us.
Do you have the patience to wait
til your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?
-Lao Tzu
I just returned from Tara Mandala last week. This Green Tara Retreat was the first in-person retreat in almost three years. She represents swift-acting compassion and is the most relevant female Buddha in our troubled world. With the presence of Green Tara, we can be more grounded, receptive, and compassionate as we integrate these inherent qualities into our daily lives. Taking time out of our busy lives for retreat is undeniably profound. It offers a shift and a renewal in perspective and attitude. Come with me on retreat this Fall.
Spring Reflections 2022 :The Beauty and gift of Observation
Grounding is an integral piece of our path towards waking up. When we come to our cushion or mat and stop the chatter, our breathing becomes synchronized and our bodies respond with a sigh. I feel it in almost every class that I teach. Most are tired and overwhelmed with the complexities of our everyday lives.
As students arrive to class it’s a transition to be still. We sit together quietly without socializing or trying to make small talk. The murkiness of the day begins to clear even knowing it's only temporary. When we eventually stand together in Tadasana anchoring our heels into the floor with awareness and intention they are grounded and I am too. My gaze tracks downward towards their feet, where I find the first signs of secret distress. It’s valuable information that helps me help them. I witness without judgment. Each student is unique and enters the sacred container we have created together with their own karma and it is my place to recognize and celebrate them for the gifts that they offer.
When I observe feet, I might find an elegant swoop of the inner arch like a cathedral, a collapsed arch, or gripping toes, a lifted big toe mound, or toes unable to spread from wearing high heels or tight shoes. I see a blackened toenail - may be a runner, I think. I see bunions of dancers wearing their past like badges of honor. I see weak inner ankles- an exhausted mother as I once was. I see who has come straight from the office, and who feels stressed or tired. These observations are a reminder that beauty does not exist without its shadow. The common denominator here is that everyone wants to be free from suffering. Whether it’s back pain, anxiety, grief, or depression we share the aspiration to be liberated. As we dispose of the clutter from our day, my voice softens, we lunge and our hip flexors soften. The body armor begins to dissipate. I am the facilitator and not the director. We are in union with my voice navigating but not manipulating. We board the ship together and the course we are on is flexible so I’m ready for a change in the weather on this journey.
Always remembering the tenderness of this human existence, I pause. The body always retains its baggage, no matter how hard we try to leave it out of the practice space. Our clinging to ego fixation creeps in but, if we look closely and listen deeply, we may be able to assist our body’s relationship to the ground it walks upon. These differences that we acknowledge actually give rise to our buddha nature and a kind of vibrancy and courage to watch, recognize and listen to the subtle cues of our body like a secret door into greater awareness. It is a gift to be called “teacher” and to stand and feel the ground underneath me with these warriors.
Grounding is an integral piece of our path towards waking up. When we come to our cushion or mat and stop the chatter, our breathing becomes synchronized and our bodies respond with a sigh. I feel it in almost every class that I teach. Most are tired and overwhelmed with the complexities of our everyday lives.
As students arrive to class it’s a transition to be still. We sit together quietly without socializing or trying to make small talk. The murkiness of the day begins to clear even knowing it's only temporary. When we eventually stand together in Tadasana anchoring our heels into the floor with awareness and intention they are grounded and I am too. My gaze tracks downward towards their feet, where I find the first signs of secret distress. It’s valuable information that helps me help them. I witness without judgment. Each student is unique and enters the sacred container we have created together with their own karma and it is my place to recognize and celebrate them for the gifts that they offer.
When I observe feet, I might find an elegant swoop of the inner arch like a cathedral, a collapsed arch, or gripping toes, a lifted big toe mound, or toes unable to spread from wearing high heels or tight shoes. I see a blackened toenail - may be a runner, I think. I see bunions of dancers wearing their past like badges of honor. I see weak inner ankles- an exhausted mother as I once was. I see who has come straight from the office, and who feels stressed or tired. These observations are a reminder that beauty does not exist without its shadow. The common denominator here is that everyone wants to be free from suffering. Whether it’s back pain, anxiety, grief, or depression we share the aspiration to be liberated. As we dispose of the clutter from our day, my voice softens, we lunge and our hip flexors soften. The body armor begins to dissipate. I am the facilitator and not the director. We are in union with my voice navigating but not manipulating. We board the ship together and the course we are on is flexible so I’m ready for a change in the weather on this journey.
Always remembering the tenderness of this human existence, I pause. The body always retains its baggage, no matter how hard we try to leave it out of the practice space. Our clinging to ego fixation creeps in but, if we look closely and listen deeply, we may be able to assist our body’s relationship to the ground it walks upon. These differences that we acknowledge actually give rise to our buddha nature and a kind of vibrancy and courage to watch, recognize and listen to the subtle cues of our body like a secret door into greater awareness. It is a gift to be called “teacher” and to stand and feel the ground underneath me with these warriors.
March 2022
Tashi Delek! A Tibetan expression used in a greeting or good luck wishes. It is also used in Bhutan and North India in the same way. The greeting is associated with Losar, the festival of the lunisolar new year. Today is Losar.
A new year is always a good time to start fresh. Setting intentions, changing habits, shifting our view and perhaps being more inclusive.
As we move through our daily lives, for instance, going to work, taking care of children and ourselves it’s important to bear witness to what is happening in Ukraine at this moment in time. Some feel the violence and a world at risk on a deep visceral level and others much less. The depth of feeling is less significant than the realization that we are not separate from each other and the world around us. We might ask ourselves how we can turn towards this reality of suffering and violence, seeing that we too are part of it. What is our experience as we watch painful imagery on TV and listen to heartbreaking news on the radio? The violence often feels surreal and confusing so how can we realize peace in the midst of the chaos?
Buddhism is rooted in the practice of inclusivity. The realization that all beings in all realms can be free from suffering and to acknowledge that we are not separate. It is not always easy to realize this and sometimes quite painful because we have our opinions, egos and personalities to contend with. Yet, Buddhists and contemplatives of many traditions have long been guided to seek realization through meditation, seeing and understanding the interconnectedness of all things including the natural world. Peace is not complacent and nourishes and liberates all living beings.May we find the time and space in our lives for meditation as activism for peace and protection from war, violence, anger and aggression.
Tashi Delek! A Tibetan expression used in a greeting or good luck wishes. It is also used in Bhutan and North India in the same way. The greeting is associated with Losar, the festival of the lunisolar new year. Today is Losar.
A new year is always a good time to start fresh. Setting intentions, changing habits, shifting our view and perhaps being more inclusive.
As we move through our daily lives, for instance, going to work, taking care of children and ourselves it’s important to bear witness to what is happening in Ukraine at this moment in time. Some feel the violence and a world at risk on a deep visceral level and others much less. The depth of feeling is less significant than the realization that we are not separate from each other and the world around us. We might ask ourselves how we can turn towards this reality of suffering and violence, seeing that we too are part of it. What is our experience as we watch painful imagery on TV and listen to heartbreaking news on the radio? The violence often feels surreal and confusing so how can we realize peace in the midst of the chaos?
Buddhism is rooted in the practice of inclusivity. The realization that all beings in all realms can be free from suffering and to acknowledge that we are not separate. It is not always easy to realize this and sometimes quite painful because we have our opinions, egos and personalities to contend with. Yet, Buddhists and contemplatives of many traditions have long been guided to seek realization through meditation, seeing and understanding the interconnectedness of all things including the natural world. Peace is not complacent and nourishes and liberates all living beings.May we find the time and space in our lives for meditation as activism for peace and protection from war, violence, anger and aggression.
December 2021
Relaxation is often a “goal” in meditation if there is one. Holidays are an important time to cultivate a practice if you don’t already have one. It can be tricky to remain relaxed during the frenetic nature and overwhelming expectations that we sometimes inflict upon ourselves during and around these times. The most joyful time of year can also be the most frazzling.
When we practice meditation it offers us the opportunity to connect with our mind and thoughts as they reveal themselves more directly. When we are quiet, we can sense that in addition to the inner dialogues that come and go, the mind has a kind of ordinariness that is silent, yet complete in itself. Nothing is missing, nothing needs interpreting. Simply resting and allowing ourselves to be directly in union we can expand this silent field of mind and touch our thoughts more intimately.
Lighter and freer ( on a good day)our mind has the potential to be more at ease and supports an overall sense of happiness and playfulness. Sustained by a healthy, balanced body, we can befriend ourselves rather than feel disconnected, annoyed or insecure.
As obstacles between mind and body melt away, long-held tensions and neurotic patterns begin to fade and senses transmit richer perceptions. All aspects of our being merge into a complete and perfect embodiment ( again on a good day). This mind and body marriage can be the basis for a truly ordinary yet exciting life.
May you be filled with loving kindness and gratitude for this precious life.
Love Always,
Gretchen
Relaxation is often a “goal” in meditation if there is one. Holidays are an important time to cultivate a practice if you don’t already have one. It can be tricky to remain relaxed during the frenetic nature and overwhelming expectations that we sometimes inflict upon ourselves during and around these times. The most joyful time of year can also be the most frazzling.
When we practice meditation it offers us the opportunity to connect with our mind and thoughts as they reveal themselves more directly. When we are quiet, we can sense that in addition to the inner dialogues that come and go, the mind has a kind of ordinariness that is silent, yet complete in itself. Nothing is missing, nothing needs interpreting. Simply resting and allowing ourselves to be directly in union we can expand this silent field of mind and touch our thoughts more intimately.
Lighter and freer ( on a good day)our mind has the potential to be more at ease and supports an overall sense of happiness and playfulness. Sustained by a healthy, balanced body, we can befriend ourselves rather than feel disconnected, annoyed or insecure.
As obstacles between mind and body melt away, long-held tensions and neurotic patterns begin to fade and senses transmit richer perceptions. All aspects of our being merge into a complete and perfect embodiment ( again on a good day). This mind and body marriage can be the basis for a truly ordinary yet exciting life.
May you be filled with loving kindness and gratitude for this precious life.
Love Always,
Gretchen
June/July 2021
I have been thinking a lot about what happens during life’s encounters when I am fully present versus slightly checked out or distracted. While the story I tell myself is... I do my best to stay present and engaged but honestly, it doesn't always happen. In fact, it’s pretty obvious when I start archiving experiences (neither good nor bad) packed with informative messages rather than deeply listening and responding appropriately with a kind and open heart.
Tapping into our somatic sensations that arise offer invaluable information right in the moment yet they are often swept under the rug only to find their way to the surface later. One of the most palpable examples is a change in breath or body temperature. I would imagine that we can all relate to those “not so pleasant” moments of overwhelm, anxiety or frustration from time to time? What to do with them is the question and ultimately our work as practitioners.
Rather than getting caught up and lost in our stories and our setbacks, we can note how tightness in the jaw or shoulders, shakiness or jumpiness and agitation articulates fundamental states of confusion and a calling to pay attention. It’s not always easy to stay with the discomfort in our lives, particularly with the amount of distractions available to us in our back pocket and at any given moment. A meditation practice provides the space and a sort of companionship to be with all the messiness that presents itself.
Working with the Mandala Principle, which can be found in many traditions but is particularly relevant in Tibetan Buddhist teachings, has been a source of insight for me. The word mandala comes from Sanskrit and it signifies 'circle' or sometimes 'center'.
The mandala is sometimes considered a sacred map pointing us back to the center or wholeness and represents an alchemy of certain interconnected and related energetic patterns and potential doors into wisdom. Recognizing our encumbered patterns is hard but working towards the wisdom within each one offers a kind of ease and acceptance . A mandala is a reminder of unity and the journey back to the center of who we really are, not the endless repetitive stories that we tell ourselves and cause so much distress. When we are truly present we discover how persistent our relentless story really is.
We all want contentment and even chase after it but when we can rest (sitting in the center of the mandala, for example) we feel less confused, less lonely and more balanced. And, the connections we weave together form a mandala that has room for everyone and everything. So when things take a turn in a direction that feels insufferable, there is space for that too.
Our safety, health and relationships are high priorities for me so thank you for being part of this beautiful mandala.
“The continual stream of new discovery, revelation and inspiration which arises at every moment is the manifestation of our clarity.
We should learn to see everyday life as mandala – the luminous fringes of experience which radiate spontaneously from the empty nature of our being. The aspects of our mandala are the day-to-day objects of our life experience moving in the dance or play of the universe."
Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
Tapping into our somatic sensations that arise offer invaluable information right in the moment yet they are often swept under the rug only to find their way to the surface later. One of the most palpable examples is a change in breath or body temperature. I would imagine that we can all relate to those “not so pleasant” moments of overwhelm, anxiety or frustration from time to time? What to do with them is the question and ultimately our work as practitioners.
Rather than getting caught up and lost in our stories and our setbacks, we can note how tightness in the jaw or shoulders, shakiness or jumpiness and agitation articulates fundamental states of confusion and a calling to pay attention. It’s not always easy to stay with the discomfort in our lives, particularly with the amount of distractions available to us in our back pocket and at any given moment. A meditation practice provides the space and a sort of companionship to be with all the messiness that presents itself.
Working with the Mandala Principle, which can be found in many traditions but is particularly relevant in Tibetan Buddhist teachings, has been a source of insight for me. The word mandala comes from Sanskrit and it signifies 'circle' or sometimes 'center'.
The mandala is sometimes considered a sacred map pointing us back to the center or wholeness and represents an alchemy of certain interconnected and related energetic patterns and potential doors into wisdom. Recognizing our encumbered patterns is hard but working towards the wisdom within each one offers a kind of ease and acceptance . A mandala is a reminder of unity and the journey back to the center of who we really are, not the endless repetitive stories that we tell ourselves and cause so much distress. When we are truly present we discover how persistent our relentless story really is.
We all want contentment and even chase after it but when we can rest (sitting in the center of the mandala, for example) we feel less confused, less lonely and more balanced. And, the connections we weave together form a mandala that has room for everyone and everything. So when things take a turn in a direction that feels insufferable, there is space for that too.
Our safety, health and relationships are high priorities for me so thank you for being part of this beautiful mandala.
“The continual stream of new discovery, revelation and inspiration which arises at every moment is the manifestation of our clarity.
We should learn to see everyday life as mandala – the luminous fringes of experience which radiate spontaneously from the empty nature of our being. The aspects of our mandala are the day-to-day objects of our life experience moving in the dance or play of the universe."
Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
May Reflections 2021
I watched this baby Red-shouldered hawk land on a concrete sidewalk and remarkably take flight a few days later. I don't know what will happen to this being or how it will survive but it was a gift to observe. Life is like a bubble and all life is so precious.
The Buddhist path is laden with teachings of impermanence and suffering. I had a friend ask me once why I was so interested in this path? She said, “Buddhist always want to talk about suffering and death.” At the time, I remember laughing to myself thinking that there is truth to this. But as I get older and by default have a few more life experiences, I feel the importance of evoking a kind of poignancy in my life.
The Dharma, which is sometimes translated as “truth” includes and integrates many levels of experience from the moment we step onto the path to enlightenment. In a sense, it's the underlying layer of our reality in our lives and the world around us. So if there is a goal, which there is not, it’s to uncover our “true nature” or “buddha nature” and forget about the other “self” that we may have imagined or think we are. Then, rest in that nature. In this kind of realization, we see that who or what we are has no beginning and no end but just expresses itself as universal love. The trueness of our being is Essence and certainly not the Title, Label, Gender or Position we work so hard to get and cling to for modern clarification of identity.
“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.” -Carl Sagan
Both sadness and surprise struck me this month when my sister Jacquie who is 57 years young and quite healthy was diagnosed with a rare form of non-clear cell renal cancer. For those close to me, you might already know but here’s an update for those who don’t but are interested…
Jacquie is home in Oakland CA after 5 arduous days in the hospital and a five hour procedure to clear some pretty extensive blood clots. The unfortunate news is that the blood clotting she had was caused, for the most part it appears, by the heparin anticoagulant medication she was taking. The blood thinner was actually a blood thickener. It is a rare syndrome called Heparin Immune Thrombocytopenia or "HIT," and apparently similar to the blood clotting caused by the J&J covid vaccine. She is now on a different anticoagulant as well as a sustained morphine, both taken orally. The pain management is considerably better. A few days ago she had her first immunotherapy treatment which will be a bi-monthly outing. I have been with her as much as possible and I’m extremely grateful for that time but home now, finding my footing after feeling a bit shaky.
Incredibly appreciative of the dharma and the three jewels (Buddha, Dharma, sSangha), I’m turning towards this unexpected and frankly unwelcomed change. Our culture sees grief and sadness as a kind of malady: a terrifying, mucky emotion that needs to be fixed, overcome and not discussed but thanks to the Dharma and my practice, I’m slowly finding some ease and clarity into the unknowns that without a doubt will present. I love you all, near and far. May all beings be free.
I watched this baby Red-shouldered hawk land on a concrete sidewalk and remarkably take flight a few days later. I don't know what will happen to this being or how it will survive but it was a gift to observe. Life is like a bubble and all life is so precious.
The Buddhist path is laden with teachings of impermanence and suffering. I had a friend ask me once why I was so interested in this path? She said, “Buddhist always want to talk about suffering and death.” At the time, I remember laughing to myself thinking that there is truth to this. But as I get older and by default have a few more life experiences, I feel the importance of evoking a kind of poignancy in my life.
The Dharma, which is sometimes translated as “truth” includes and integrates many levels of experience from the moment we step onto the path to enlightenment. In a sense, it's the underlying layer of our reality in our lives and the world around us. So if there is a goal, which there is not, it’s to uncover our “true nature” or “buddha nature” and forget about the other “self” that we may have imagined or think we are. Then, rest in that nature. In this kind of realization, we see that who or what we are has no beginning and no end but just expresses itself as universal love. The trueness of our being is Essence and certainly not the Title, Label, Gender or Position we work so hard to get and cling to for modern clarification of identity.
“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.” -Carl Sagan
Both sadness and surprise struck me this month when my sister Jacquie who is 57 years young and quite healthy was diagnosed with a rare form of non-clear cell renal cancer. For those close to me, you might already know but here’s an update for those who don’t but are interested…
Jacquie is home in Oakland CA after 5 arduous days in the hospital and a five hour procedure to clear some pretty extensive blood clots. The unfortunate news is that the blood clotting she had was caused, for the most part it appears, by the heparin anticoagulant medication she was taking. The blood thinner was actually a blood thickener. It is a rare syndrome called Heparin Immune Thrombocytopenia or "HIT," and apparently similar to the blood clotting caused by the J&J covid vaccine. She is now on a different anticoagulant as well as a sustained morphine, both taken orally. The pain management is considerably better. A few days ago she had her first immunotherapy treatment which will be a bi-monthly outing. I have been with her as much as possible and I’m extremely grateful for that time but home now, finding my footing after feeling a bit shaky.
Incredibly appreciative of the dharma and the three jewels (Buddha, Dharma, sSangha), I’m turning towards this unexpected and frankly unwelcomed change. Our culture sees grief and sadness as a kind of malady: a terrifying, mucky emotion that needs to be fixed, overcome and not discussed but thanks to the Dharma and my practice, I’m slowly finding some ease and clarity into the unknowns that without a doubt will present. I love you all, near and far. May all beings be free.
April Reflections 2021
I traveled to the East Coast last week and, like many of us, it was my first time on an airplane in over a year. And, unlike the weather in San Diego where I live, I experienced some storms on my travels. After almost two decades living in Southern California, I have noticed that most locals have an aversion to unfavorable weather. Let’s face it, we are spoiled.
So I was thinking about storms but not as weather per se, but as fluctuations of our mind ( chitta vrittis) and how these storms occur in our psyches. Like rain or wind we cannot stop it. It is part of nature yet we do our best to avoid it, don’t we. Storms inside our innermost landscape as well as storms in society are needed and deserve our attention. They are not something to suppress or avoid. They cleanse and they reveal. And in the process they nourish and create new growth. Each mind storm reminds us to stay open and bear witness to our experiences in the moment. Turning towards that which makes us uncomfortable offers more freedom and less fear. We are resilient and stronger than we give ourselves credit for. It’s been quite a harrowing year for so many people. Hence, normalcy and calm are not yet upon us but we can collectively seek refuge in love, friendship, nature and spiritual practice and trust that everything is impermanent.
Consider watching your awareness looking at awareness itself.
I traveled to the East Coast last week and, like many of us, it was my first time on an airplane in over a year. And, unlike the weather in San Diego where I live, I experienced some storms on my travels. After almost two decades living in Southern California, I have noticed that most locals have an aversion to unfavorable weather. Let’s face it, we are spoiled.
So I was thinking about storms but not as weather per se, but as fluctuations of our mind ( chitta vrittis) and how these storms occur in our psyches. Like rain or wind we cannot stop it. It is part of nature yet we do our best to avoid it, don’t we. Storms inside our innermost landscape as well as storms in society are needed and deserve our attention. They are not something to suppress or avoid. They cleanse and they reveal. And in the process they nourish and create new growth. Each mind storm reminds us to stay open and bear witness to our experiences in the moment. Turning towards that which makes us uncomfortable offers more freedom and less fear. We are resilient and stronger than we give ourselves credit for. It’s been quite a harrowing year for so many people. Hence, normalcy and calm are not yet upon us but we can collectively seek refuge in love, friendship, nature and spiritual practice and trust that everything is impermanent.
Consider watching your awareness looking at awareness itself.
March Reflections 2021
In mid March of 2020 we marked a significant time in our lives when all of us began to quarantine, search for PPE, hoarded toilet paper, frantically wiping down groceries and anything else that entered our homes. We were scared, paranoid and anxious. It seems like a long time ago in some ways but so close in others, as we grieve our losses on so many levels. I look forward to more light filtering through some of the darkness, shining brightly on all of us to receive its nourishment.
Our local sangha gathered outside for the first time in a long time to celebrate Spring with a Green Tara Tsog. Traditionally people offer a celebratory gesture at these festivities. I'm not much of a poet nor a writer but I decided to challenge myself and write a poem for the occasion about Spring and Green Tara, the female buddha of compassion.
Spring
The balancing that we do now, tips toward the light
It’s a time to start something, a journey, a practice, a project of sorts
or a garden bed, perhaps?
Plant whatever you do with a joyful heart
Seeds of thoughts, dreams and all...
Wake up, senses, wake up!
Smell the moist, rich, sandy and life giving soil that brings forth the GREEN...like Tara from the depths of the earth
The embodiment of compassion, she is
Hear her mantra nourish and renew us
Feel the gentle balmy breeze of her breath
Watch the sun’s luminous light and her reflexion in the
awakened grass and trees.
Now taste the joy
And like the earth
we are refreshed and new
and full of energy to plant, to begin, to create
And to wake up.
In mid March of 2020 we marked a significant time in our lives when all of us began to quarantine, search for PPE, hoarded toilet paper, frantically wiping down groceries and anything else that entered our homes. We were scared, paranoid and anxious. It seems like a long time ago in some ways but so close in others, as we grieve our losses on so many levels. I look forward to more light filtering through some of the darkness, shining brightly on all of us to receive its nourishment.
Our local sangha gathered outside for the first time in a long time to celebrate Spring with a Green Tara Tsog. Traditionally people offer a celebratory gesture at these festivities. I'm not much of a poet nor a writer but I decided to challenge myself and write a poem for the occasion about Spring and Green Tara, the female buddha of compassion.
Spring
The balancing that we do now, tips toward the light
It’s a time to start something, a journey, a practice, a project of sorts
or a garden bed, perhaps?
Plant whatever you do with a joyful heart
Seeds of thoughts, dreams and all...
Wake up, senses, wake up!
Smell the moist, rich, sandy and life giving soil that brings forth the GREEN...like Tara from the depths of the earth
The embodiment of compassion, she is
Hear her mantra nourish and renew us
Feel the gentle balmy breeze of her breath
Watch the sun’s luminous light and her reflexion in the
awakened grass and trees.
Now taste the joy
And like the earth
we are refreshed and new
and full of energy to plant, to begin, to create
And to wake up.
February Reflections 2021
Developing a relationship with Yoga beyond just the poses we practice is the next step towards spiritual growth and developing more intimacy with ourselves and others. Simplified here in this sutra, Patanjali suggests the importance of cultivating an attitude of friendliness, virtue and compassion even when faced with unfriendliness, sadness and ill will.
Maitri Karuna Muditopeksanam Sukha Duhka Punyapunya Visayanam Bhavantas Citta Prasadanam.
This very important verse and one of my favorites describes how our minds can trick us into a state of constant craving and aversion between our likes and our dislikes. At times it feels like we are continuously choosing between seeking clarity and happiness or free falling into habitual patterns of confusion and pain. What we don’t often accept though, is that if we continue to pursue these habitual states or urges we only perpetuate more unease and suffering. Our human experience offers us the potential to wake up and transformation is possible when we shift our view, loosen our grip and get curious about spiritual practice beyond "feeling good" and include the wider context in which we make choices about how to live and care for eachother and the planet.
The Four Immeasurables in Buddhism are often referred to as infinite because ultimately the wish for our own happiness has to include the wish for everyone’s happiness. When we step out of the reactive mind and drop into a calm, expansive mind we can shift our solo minded self centeredness into infinite expansiveness.
As we continue to navigate the course of our lives in these challenging times, fear, anxiety and mental instability seem more prevalent than ever before. Maybe it's just that the veil of depression has pulled back the curtain to expose painful truths and we have no choice but to work with the discomfort. Can we go through the ups and downs of our lives with more compassion/peace? As practitioners of yoga and meditation these deep yet simple teachings help to bring us back to our true nature which is a pure open heart.
Join me for my upcoming virtual workshop in March to dive deeper into these teachings. Staying engaged is social action
Maitri Karuna Muditopeksanam Sukha Duhka Punyapunya Visayanam Bhavantas Citta Prasadanam.
This very important verse and one of my favorites describes how our minds can trick us into a state of constant craving and aversion between our likes and our dislikes. At times it feels like we are continuously choosing between seeking clarity and happiness or free falling into habitual patterns of confusion and pain. What we don’t often accept though, is that if we continue to pursue these habitual states or urges we only perpetuate more unease and suffering. Our human experience offers us the potential to wake up and transformation is possible when we shift our view, loosen our grip and get curious about spiritual practice beyond "feeling good" and include the wider context in which we make choices about how to live and care for eachother and the planet.
The Four Immeasurables in Buddhism are often referred to as infinite because ultimately the wish for our own happiness has to include the wish for everyone’s happiness. When we step out of the reactive mind and drop into a calm, expansive mind we can shift our solo minded self centeredness into infinite expansiveness.
As we continue to navigate the course of our lives in these challenging times, fear, anxiety and mental instability seem more prevalent than ever before. Maybe it's just that the veil of depression has pulled back the curtain to expose painful truths and we have no choice but to work with the discomfort. Can we go through the ups and downs of our lives with more compassion/peace? As practitioners of yoga and meditation these deep yet simple teachings help to bring us back to our true nature which is a pure open heart.
Join me for my upcoming virtual workshop in March to dive deeper into these teachings. Staying engaged is social action
January Reflections 2021
"our people diverse and beautiful will emerge battered and beautiful, when the day comes we step out of the shade aflame and unafraid, the new dawn blooms as we free it, for there is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it"
Amanda Gorman
The path of self discovery is ongoing and if you're a kinesthetic person like myself, the body can be an amazing vessel to explore sensory awareness. But without diving deeper into the emotional aspects of ourselves and too much emphasis on the body alone, I think it can leave us feeling incomplete and lost. The truth is that this precious human body is changing and will eventually deteriorate. Sorry for the bad news:)
This beautiful gesture of inclusion from Amanda Gorman's poem "The Hill We Climb" reminds me of the endless gifts that diversity offers but also the fears that we share to step up into the light of self discovery. When we are curious to know ourselves more intimately, we can certainly have more compassion for others. Moving forward in this beautiful web we weave together called life, I feel hopeful for the first time in a while.
Let's exhale deeply together on and off the mat.
May this year bring us ALL more light and the ability to spread love wherever possible.
"our people diverse and beautiful will emerge battered and beautiful, when the day comes we step out of the shade aflame and unafraid, the new dawn blooms as we free it, for there is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it"
Amanda Gorman
The path of self discovery is ongoing and if you're a kinesthetic person like myself, the body can be an amazing vessel to explore sensory awareness. But without diving deeper into the emotional aspects of ourselves and too much emphasis on the body alone, I think it can leave us feeling incomplete and lost. The truth is that this precious human body is changing and will eventually deteriorate. Sorry for the bad news:)
This beautiful gesture of inclusion from Amanda Gorman's poem "The Hill We Climb" reminds me of the endless gifts that diversity offers but also the fears that we share to step up into the light of self discovery. When we are curious to know ourselves more intimately, we can certainly have more compassion for others. Moving forward in this beautiful web we weave together called life, I feel hopeful for the first time in a while.
Let's exhale deeply together on and off the mat.
May this year bring us ALL more light and the ability to spread love wherever possible.
December Reflections 2020
In this difficult year, we’ve all seen how important our practice is - to our own lives, to others, and to a better future.
My intention when I started offering classes online in late March was to support our community of practioners seeking yoga beyond just the physical. My mission was to set out to offer Asana practice and Dharma teachings to benefit people’s lives and our society, and to support the development of growth and transformation in this new unusual and crazy world we are living in. If you have seen the benefit of practice and wisdom in your own life, I hope you will continue to be a part of our growing community. I think it is essential at year's end to ask ourselves what is most important in our lives and how can we play a role in sustaining and supporting it's growth.
Winter Solstice has arrived and the darkest days have passed. In the coming months ahead we will share the light of a vaccine distribution, a new presidential administration, hope for stronger social justice and a celebration of life and vitality.
I encourage you to join our book study beginning on January 14 if time permits. You don't have to be a buddhist nor do you need to have any experience with meditation. Feeding Your Demons is an extraordinary practice that has shed light on thousands of lives where darkness seemed to prevail for way too long. This book is a gift to those eager and willing to tap into their capacity for healing.
May friends and family be your steady companions during these unsteady times
Warmly,
Gretchen
In this difficult year, we’ve all seen how important our practice is - to our own lives, to others, and to a better future.
My intention when I started offering classes online in late March was to support our community of practioners seeking yoga beyond just the physical. My mission was to set out to offer Asana practice and Dharma teachings to benefit people’s lives and our society, and to support the development of growth and transformation in this new unusual and crazy world we are living in. If you have seen the benefit of practice and wisdom in your own life, I hope you will continue to be a part of our growing community. I think it is essential at year's end to ask ourselves what is most important in our lives and how can we play a role in sustaining and supporting it's growth.
Winter Solstice has arrived and the darkest days have passed. In the coming months ahead we will share the light of a vaccine distribution, a new presidential administration, hope for stronger social justice and a celebration of life and vitality.
I encourage you to join our book study beginning on January 14 if time permits. You don't have to be a buddhist nor do you need to have any experience with meditation. Feeding Your Demons is an extraordinary practice that has shed light on thousands of lives where darkness seemed to prevail for way too long. This book is a gift to those eager and willing to tap into their capacity for healing.
May friends and family be your steady companions during these unsteady times
Warmly,
Gretchen
November Reflections 2020
While it sounds cliché, I’m incredibly grateful for my family, friends, sangha, students and the precious human existence that we all share, I'll say it anyway.
I’m lucky that I haven’t had any major trauma in my life. We all suffer from external circumstances that we have no control over in addition to creating our own suffering which is often much more typical and customary in this culture.
Dharma offers us clear insight into the nature of reality. I'm eternally grateful for the Dharma and the gifts it provides.
According to early texts, Buddha Shakyamuni remarked that the dharma is always present, whether or not there is a buddha to preach it or a sangha to practice it. Dharma is the underlying layer of reality, our lives and of our world. It is the ultimate and primordial fact of who and what we are. In fact it's sometimes translated as: Truth.
It is the quest of all Buddhists to reveal this “true nature,” by which it is often referred, and not just scratch the surface of it. It's an ongoing journey of "non-self"examination and contemplation. Letting go of who we think we are and really resting in the nature of our own mind. In such a realization, we see that what we most essentially are has no beginning and no end, and expresses itself in universal love.
Is this eternal dharma inaccessible to ordinary people such as ourselves? I think not. In fact, it is always hovering at the periphery of our consciousness, whether we are Buddhists or not, or whether or not we have any apparent interest in spirituality at all. So, enjoy this ride...
So grateful that the election is over.
Democracy Rules!
While it sounds cliché, I’m incredibly grateful for my family, friends, sangha, students and the precious human existence that we all share, I'll say it anyway.
I’m lucky that I haven’t had any major trauma in my life. We all suffer from external circumstances that we have no control over in addition to creating our own suffering which is often much more typical and customary in this culture.
Dharma offers us clear insight into the nature of reality. I'm eternally grateful for the Dharma and the gifts it provides.
According to early texts, Buddha Shakyamuni remarked that the dharma is always present, whether or not there is a buddha to preach it or a sangha to practice it. Dharma is the underlying layer of reality, our lives and of our world. It is the ultimate and primordial fact of who and what we are. In fact it's sometimes translated as: Truth.
It is the quest of all Buddhists to reveal this “true nature,” by which it is often referred, and not just scratch the surface of it. It's an ongoing journey of "non-self"examination and contemplation. Letting go of who we think we are and really resting in the nature of our own mind. In such a realization, we see that what we most essentially are has no beginning and no end, and expresses itself in universal love.
Is this eternal dharma inaccessible to ordinary people such as ourselves? I think not. In fact, it is always hovering at the periphery of our consciousness, whether we are Buddhists or not, or whether or not we have any apparent interest in spirituality at all. So, enjoy this ride...
So grateful that the election is over.
Democracy Rules!
Fall September/ October Reflections 2020
In heavy times, love and laughter makes things feel lighter and we can all agree that these are heavy times. I'm feeling it more than ever before. Cumulative for me I think, remaining calm as a mother does for her child during trying circumstances until it's safe to finally cry alone. Amid my relatively positive attitude, sadness rolled over me this week when I went down the doom and gloom road to nowhere. Frustration and impatience infiltrates my mind and body making me feel ungrounded and even flighty.
When the turbulence of thoughts and concerns overwhelm our minds and self-preoccupation sets in, stress stirs up harmful habits and a kind of shutting down that makes us feel unstable and disconnected.
I think it’s unrealistic to expect our lives to be free of stress.
If we have lived long enough, most of us have experienced some trauma and the first noble truth assures us that “there is suffering”. So why then do we avoid discomfort? Instead of viewing stress as an enemy, we could regard it as a teacher and perhaps even welcome it as a process of transformation. Turning towards compassion practice is most helpful for me. With steadiness, reliability and a naked exposed mind, we can all create space to gently tame the uncontrollable winds of our inner landscape. Cultivating an open heart of compassion, a gentle nudge of discipline and some laughter might help to make us all feel a little lighter.
What empowers you to meet the societal demands of the times and adapt to our uncertain world? It's heavy but with an open heart of compassion we can lean into these challenges together.
In heavy times, love and laughter makes things feel lighter and we can all agree that these are heavy times. I'm feeling it more than ever before. Cumulative for me I think, remaining calm as a mother does for her child during trying circumstances until it's safe to finally cry alone. Amid my relatively positive attitude, sadness rolled over me this week when I went down the doom and gloom road to nowhere. Frustration and impatience infiltrates my mind and body making me feel ungrounded and even flighty.
When the turbulence of thoughts and concerns overwhelm our minds and self-preoccupation sets in, stress stirs up harmful habits and a kind of shutting down that makes us feel unstable and disconnected.
I think it’s unrealistic to expect our lives to be free of stress.
If we have lived long enough, most of us have experienced some trauma and the first noble truth assures us that “there is suffering”. So why then do we avoid discomfort? Instead of viewing stress as an enemy, we could regard it as a teacher and perhaps even welcome it as a process of transformation. Turning towards compassion practice is most helpful for me. With steadiness, reliability and a naked exposed mind, we can all create space to gently tame the uncontrollable winds of our inner landscape. Cultivating an open heart of compassion, a gentle nudge of discipline and some laughter might help to make us all feel a little lighter.
What empowers you to meet the societal demands of the times and adapt to our uncertain world? It's heavy but with an open heart of compassion we can lean into these challenges together.
August Reflections 2020
A beautiful unexpected Refuge Ceremony took place this month on the beach in Encinitas. On a Tuesday night our beloved teacher Lama Tsultrim Allione said that she would offer Refuge to those interested and on Friday it happened. The whirlwind began as people rallied to organize the event and students traveled from all directions. As a witness, I renewed my vows, as did a handful of others in our sangha. Together we soaked in the richness of becoming a Buddhist as each person received a blessing. The sun set and the calm glow of night sky permeated every cell of our being.
What does it mean to take refuge? It’s a commitment to preserving the vows of buddhism and to the three jewels namely the Buddha: the enlightened being, the dharma: the teachings expounded by the Buddha and the Sangha: the community that supports us on this beautiful path of awakening.
Amongst the craziness in our present lives such as the ongoing social injustice, a pandemic, wildfires burning all over California and an abnormal political division in our country (to name a few) it’s amazing that we can still be hopeful, but I am.
“Whenever my eyes so much as look at others, may my regard be honest and full of love” -the way of the Bodhisattva
A beautiful unexpected Refuge Ceremony took place this month on the beach in Encinitas. On a Tuesday night our beloved teacher Lama Tsultrim Allione said that she would offer Refuge to those interested and on Friday it happened. The whirlwind began as people rallied to organize the event and students traveled from all directions. As a witness, I renewed my vows, as did a handful of others in our sangha. Together we soaked in the richness of becoming a Buddhist as each person received a blessing. The sun set and the calm glow of night sky permeated every cell of our being.
What does it mean to take refuge? It’s a commitment to preserving the vows of buddhism and to the three jewels namely the Buddha: the enlightened being, the dharma: the teachings expounded by the Buddha and the Sangha: the community that supports us on this beautiful path of awakening.
Amongst the craziness in our present lives such as the ongoing social injustice, a pandemic, wildfires burning all over California and an abnormal political division in our country (to name a few) it’s amazing that we can still be hopeful, but I am.
“Whenever my eyes so much as look at others, may my regard be honest and full of love” -the way of the Bodhisattva
July Reflections 2020
“Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s waiting out there without knowing, if we have the courage to face it.”
-Pema Chodron
We have always craved security and worked hard to make things feel certain and I’m no exception. After all, safety is a fundamental condition of our well being. I can remember when I was pregnant and health professionals encouraged me to have a “birth plan.” This consisted of writing down the course of action for my labor and delivery and making sure that my loved ones were aware of my requests so that they could best support me. So I did.
Undeniably though, if you have ever given birth or have even known a woman that has given birth, it usually doesn’t go as planned. Even if everything goes as smoothly as possible it’s different then that carefully constructed birth plan. Trying to organize our existence and compartmentalize the aspects of our lives can lead to disappointment. Hopes and dreams can irrefutably materialize but easily fall apart, break down and even collapse entirely.
To acknowledge the burning desire for security and dependability as the source of our collective suffering and not the cure of anxieties or frustrations is a bit of a jolt and frankly I don’t really want to accept it. But, the rug has been pulled out from underneath us and the illusion of the birth plan as our guide to fulfillment is a dream. We can certainly work hard, create positive change and even plan but getting attached to the outcome is futile.
Uncertainty is inexhaustible in our current Global Pandemic and our country’s Social Unrest as we know because we are living it. I’m saddened by the political division and the ongoing racism that continues to be pervasive. This is a tender and fragile time for us and deepening our compassion for each other feels eminent. If we don’t find ways to make friends with the ever-changing fluctuations of life, then we’ll always be struggling to find stability in an ever changing world.
Now is the time. If there’s any possibility for awakening, it’s right now, not at some future time. Now is the time.
“Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s waiting out there without knowing, if we have the courage to face it.”
-Pema Chodron
We have always craved security and worked hard to make things feel certain and I’m no exception. After all, safety is a fundamental condition of our well being. I can remember when I was pregnant and health professionals encouraged me to have a “birth plan.” This consisted of writing down the course of action for my labor and delivery and making sure that my loved ones were aware of my requests so that they could best support me. So I did.
Undeniably though, if you have ever given birth or have even known a woman that has given birth, it usually doesn’t go as planned. Even if everything goes as smoothly as possible it’s different then that carefully constructed birth plan. Trying to organize our existence and compartmentalize the aspects of our lives can lead to disappointment. Hopes and dreams can irrefutably materialize but easily fall apart, break down and even collapse entirely.
To acknowledge the burning desire for security and dependability as the source of our collective suffering and not the cure of anxieties or frustrations is a bit of a jolt and frankly I don’t really want to accept it. But, the rug has been pulled out from underneath us and the illusion of the birth plan as our guide to fulfillment is a dream. We can certainly work hard, create positive change and even plan but getting attached to the outcome is futile.
Uncertainty is inexhaustible in our current Global Pandemic and our country’s Social Unrest as we know because we are living it. I’m saddened by the political division and the ongoing racism that continues to be pervasive. This is a tender and fragile time for us and deepening our compassion for each other feels eminent. If we don’t find ways to make friends with the ever-changing fluctuations of life, then we’ll always be struggling to find stability in an ever changing world.
Now is the time. If there’s any possibility for awakening, it’s right now, not at some future time. Now is the time.
June Reflections 2020
I'm looking forward to reconnecting and offering classes virtually again. Everyone is welcome!
It's nice to be home but so strange to have left a month ago in a global pandemic where most were still in isolation and social distancing was highly encouraged where now thousands of people are participating in world wide protests.
Less preoccupation with ourselves and more compassion for the world is what we need, I think. Until we start looking at racial injustice as our problem and not one "out there" we will never heal. It's fine to have empathy and feel disgust for the horrific incidents that occured and continue to be pervasive but we need to do more.
What does that look like for you? I urge you to take a look at how you personally and we as I community can raise more awareness, listen more attentively, observe judgement, act more skillfully. These difficult and uncomfortable problems are ours to bear and until we are at home in our own bodies, we can not fully be in the world.
"We can’t heal what we don’t acknowledge,
but acknowledgment can be painful and takes work,
so we need effective tools and safe spaces where
all feel welcome."
-Lama Rod Owens
I'm looking forward to reconnecting and offering classes virtually again. Everyone is welcome!
It's nice to be home but so strange to have left a month ago in a global pandemic where most were still in isolation and social distancing was highly encouraged where now thousands of people are participating in world wide protests.
Less preoccupation with ourselves and more compassion for the world is what we need, I think. Until we start looking at racial injustice as our problem and not one "out there" we will never heal. It's fine to have empathy and feel disgust for the horrific incidents that occured and continue to be pervasive but we need to do more.
What does that look like for you? I urge you to take a look at how you personally and we as I community can raise more awareness, listen more attentively, observe judgement, act more skillfully. These difficult and uncomfortable problems are ours to bear and until we are at home in our own bodies, we can not fully be in the world.
"We can’t heal what we don’t acknowledge,
but acknowledgment can be painful and takes work,
so we need effective tools and safe spaces where
all feel welcome."
-Lama Rod Owens
May Reflections 2020
“The meaning of ultimate wisdom is not to be looked for elsewhere,
it exists within yourself”-Aryadeva the Brahmin
Ready or not, here I go... I’m heading out tomorrow on a solo retreat to Tara Mandala International Buddhist Retreat Center in Pagosa Springs Colorado. www.taramandala.org
On the stunning 700 acres of land I’ll reside in a small cabin for three weeks meditating and visualizing myself as Green Tara, The Female Buddha of Compassion. My bags are packed and I’m ready to go but, am I really? I know uncertainty plays an integral role on this path but I feel sure that the timing is right to go now.
I have been practicing and studying Vajrayana Buddhism for a while. But honestly, the more I learn the more I feel as if I know nothing. The meaning of “ultimate wisdom” suggested above in Aryadeva’s quote is Prajnaparamita. Often referred to as the perfection of transcendent wisdom in buddhism. I’m no scholar nor do I pretend to be but this reference to a “perfect” way of seeing the nature of reality in addition to a body of sutras and direct connection to “The Great Mother” seems to offer me an indispensable kind of clairvoyance on this beautiful path.
These rich and complex practices have so many layers of insight which currently only brush the surface for me yet I can feel the rich treasure-like qualities as a source of information and inspiration in life. I’m a little nervous but mostly excited.
it exists within yourself”-Aryadeva the Brahmin
Ready or not, here I go... I’m heading out tomorrow on a solo retreat to Tara Mandala International Buddhist Retreat Center in Pagosa Springs Colorado. www.taramandala.org
On the stunning 700 acres of land I’ll reside in a small cabin for three weeks meditating and visualizing myself as Green Tara, The Female Buddha of Compassion. My bags are packed and I’m ready to go but, am I really? I know uncertainty plays an integral role on this path but I feel sure that the timing is right to go now.
I have been practicing and studying Vajrayana Buddhism for a while. But honestly, the more I learn the more I feel as if I know nothing. The meaning of “ultimate wisdom” suggested above in Aryadeva’s quote is Prajnaparamita. Often referred to as the perfection of transcendent wisdom in buddhism. I’m no scholar nor do I pretend to be but this reference to a “perfect” way of seeing the nature of reality in addition to a body of sutras and direct connection to “The Great Mother” seems to offer me an indispensable kind of clairvoyance on this beautiful path.
These rich and complex practices have so many layers of insight which currently only brush the surface for me yet I can feel the rich treasure-like qualities as a source of information and inspiration in life. I’m a little nervous but mostly excited.
April Reflections 2020
Difficulties can certainly give rise to compassion if we let them in. The path of a bodhisattva or a being who is able to reach enlightenment but delays doing so out of compassion for others is ours to walk together. Whatever circumstances that may arise in our lives offers us potential to tap into our heart of compassion. It’s not always easy and in fact quite raw and tender at times. But I think we can hold space for sadness, anxiety, fear, loneliness, guilt, disappointment just as we would for happiness, excitement and joy? We belong to this space and there is space for all of this messiness. I do notice however, that we tend to cling to the emotions that offer us more fanfare.
How are we doing, really? Working harder than before the pandemic or maybe recently unemployed ? Angry? Bored? Frustrated? Filling your time with cleaning, organizing, binge watching Netflix, online classes and webinars? Incessantly posting on Instagram? Baking, drinking and eating too much? Are you reminded of what you miss? What you don’t miss?
Clinging to the familiar even when it causes us suffering is painful and uncomfortable yet we find ourselves there again and again. We can for sure count on change and boy did change take us by surprise, or did we see it coming and ignore it?
Our modern human existence has the tendency to look outward or elsewhere for satisfaction and worthiness. We get increasingly wrapped up in a lifestyle that leaves us disconnected from our bodies and our environment. We rush around feeling important when we are busy, excluded when we are not, making little or no eye contact with each other, consuming too much of everything thus leaving us depleted, like there must be more to do. But, what if we turned these tendencies inward and created more spaciousness in our hearts? When we are not constricted by our habitual patterns, I think we are freer. And perhaps that which we desperately keep searching for and accumulating has been right here all along.
Maybe we are enough just as we are and now is the time to offer a sort of far-reaching compassion to ourselves and others. Recognizing ourselves as none other than buddha nature walking on the bodhisattva path to awakening together.
Everything is beautiful and I am so sad.
This is how the heart makes a duet of
wonder and grief. The light spraying
through the lace of the fern is as delicate
as the fibers of memory forming their web
around the knot in my throat. The breeze
makes the birds move from branch to branch
as this ache makes me look for those I’ve lost
in the next room, in the next song, in the laugh
of the next stranger. In the very center, under
it all, what we have that no one can take
away and all that we’ve lost face each other.
It is there that I’m adrift, feeling punctured
by a holiness that exists inside everything
I am so sad and everything is beautiful.
Mark Nepo
Difficulties can certainly give rise to compassion if we let them in. The path of a bodhisattva or a being who is able to reach enlightenment but delays doing so out of compassion for others is ours to walk together. Whatever circumstances that may arise in our lives offers us potential to tap into our heart of compassion. It’s not always easy and in fact quite raw and tender at times. But I think we can hold space for sadness, anxiety, fear, loneliness, guilt, disappointment just as we would for happiness, excitement and joy? We belong to this space and there is space for all of this messiness. I do notice however, that we tend to cling to the emotions that offer us more fanfare.
How are we doing, really? Working harder than before the pandemic or maybe recently unemployed ? Angry? Bored? Frustrated? Filling your time with cleaning, organizing, binge watching Netflix, online classes and webinars? Incessantly posting on Instagram? Baking, drinking and eating too much? Are you reminded of what you miss? What you don’t miss?
Clinging to the familiar even when it causes us suffering is painful and uncomfortable yet we find ourselves there again and again. We can for sure count on change and boy did change take us by surprise, or did we see it coming and ignore it?
Our modern human existence has the tendency to look outward or elsewhere for satisfaction and worthiness. We get increasingly wrapped up in a lifestyle that leaves us disconnected from our bodies and our environment. We rush around feeling important when we are busy, excluded when we are not, making little or no eye contact with each other, consuming too much of everything thus leaving us depleted, like there must be more to do. But, what if we turned these tendencies inward and created more spaciousness in our hearts? When we are not constricted by our habitual patterns, I think we are freer. And perhaps that which we desperately keep searching for and accumulating has been right here all along.
Maybe we are enough just as we are and now is the time to offer a sort of far-reaching compassion to ourselves and others. Recognizing ourselves as none other than buddha nature walking on the bodhisattva path to awakening together.
Everything is beautiful and I am so sad.
This is how the heart makes a duet of
wonder and grief. The light spraying
through the lace of the fern is as delicate
as the fibers of memory forming their web
around the knot in my throat. The breeze
makes the birds move from branch to branch
as this ache makes me look for those I’ve lost
in the next room, in the next song, in the laugh
of the next stranger. In the very center, under
it all, what we have that no one can take
away and all that we’ve lost face each other.
It is there that I’m adrift, feeling punctured
by a holiness that exists inside everything
I am so sad and everything is beautiful.
Mark Nepo
March Reflections 2020
I'm struck by what this viral spread reveals about the profound interconnection that we all share. We are part of each other and part of this world in ways that we often ignore when life is perhaps easier and less confusing. But truthfully, things become very clear when we face adversity such as COVID-19. This fast moving agent consisting of a molecule that the human eye cannot see is pervasive and is certainly creating frenzy, fear and hoarding. Moving us into isolation yet magnifying our interdependence. It’s sobering to realize that we share our precious breath with every creature on this planet. Our thoughts and actions spread too and have consequences both positive and negative.
Pausing to check in with ourselves is essential at this time (and always) but now we have this rare opportunity and it’s up to us to take the pause and develop spaciousness within it. In other words, don’t hold your breath (so to speak). Breath is often associated with Prana in yogic language but it’s more than that. Prana is our life force and the breath of life for all beings in the universe is Prana. Everything is established in it. It permeates the five elements (earth,fire,air, water,space) and all forms of life. It’s the source of all knowledge so when it’s absent, we are dead. It’s inspiring tho, to realize that breath itself can be a healing power when we fill it with light and send it out with loving kindness into the world.
Every one of us already has a powerful practice to tap into for strengthening our connections to healing. Most of us have done so much to develop our ability to focus, to be mindful, to tune in to the inner landscape of ourselves. This is the time to use what we know, and use it skillfully and with compassion, along with taking sensible precautions. Don’t check out! Triggers like fear can become opportunities for noticing the felt sense of emotion and bringing loving attention to it (not always easy). But ask, what does fear feel like in my body? Where is it located? Take some deep breaths and pause, wait. Surround it with spaciousness breathing gently fully, softly letting the potency of your own breath meet the sensation of fear. Every time we stop and remember to meet anxiety with spaciousness we deepen our capacity for freedom.
Practice Loving Kindness, it’s one of the best ways there is to lift the mind beyond fear. And it's good for the immune system too.
"May I be happy, may I be safe, may I be healthy. May my family be happy, may they be safe, may they be healthy. May the people in my community be happy, may they be safe, may they be healthy."
I'm struck by what this viral spread reveals about the profound interconnection that we all share. We are part of each other and part of this world in ways that we often ignore when life is perhaps easier and less confusing. But truthfully, things become very clear when we face adversity such as COVID-19. This fast moving agent consisting of a molecule that the human eye cannot see is pervasive and is certainly creating frenzy, fear and hoarding. Moving us into isolation yet magnifying our interdependence. It’s sobering to realize that we share our precious breath with every creature on this planet. Our thoughts and actions spread too and have consequences both positive and negative.
Pausing to check in with ourselves is essential at this time (and always) but now we have this rare opportunity and it’s up to us to take the pause and develop spaciousness within it. In other words, don’t hold your breath (so to speak). Breath is often associated with Prana in yogic language but it’s more than that. Prana is our life force and the breath of life for all beings in the universe is Prana. Everything is established in it. It permeates the five elements (earth,fire,air, water,space) and all forms of life. It’s the source of all knowledge so when it’s absent, we are dead. It’s inspiring tho, to realize that breath itself can be a healing power when we fill it with light and send it out with loving kindness into the world.
Every one of us already has a powerful practice to tap into for strengthening our connections to healing. Most of us have done so much to develop our ability to focus, to be mindful, to tune in to the inner landscape of ourselves. This is the time to use what we know, and use it skillfully and with compassion, along with taking sensible precautions. Don’t check out! Triggers like fear can become opportunities for noticing the felt sense of emotion and bringing loving attention to it (not always easy). But ask, what does fear feel like in my body? Where is it located? Take some deep breaths and pause, wait. Surround it with spaciousness breathing gently fully, softly letting the potency of your own breath meet the sensation of fear. Every time we stop and remember to meet anxiety with spaciousness we deepen our capacity for freedom.
Practice Loving Kindness, it’s one of the best ways there is to lift the mind beyond fear. And it's good for the immune system too.
"May I be happy, may I be safe, may I be healthy. May my family be happy, may they be safe, may they be healthy. May the people in my community be happy, may they be safe, may they be healthy."
February Reflections 2020
After our amazing Retreat in Desert Hot Springs with 10 beautiful beings, I took some time this month to be alone. I called it a mini-solo retreat but that’s a bit of a stretch. My husband was away for a week so I used that week to meditate twice a day. Most mornings at sunrise I hiked up to a local point with my dog and practiced Prajna Paramita: The Great Mother. It’s a beautiful and simple practice. At night more meditation before bed. Sandwiched between these two sessions I had a light teaching schedule and prepared for a day-long retreat which I offered at my home. The entire month, I have dedicated more time to yoga/ movement, eating light meals, juicing, no alcohol and limited socializing daily. It’s interesting what arises…
A gentle and sustainable discipline is what feeds me. I have been down the road of every trendy nutritional inclination and spent thousands of dollars on supplements for over a decade including gluten free, vegan, raw, no sugar, paleo, etc...It’s all quite fascinating and I’m sure it has heightened my awareness and sensitivity in many ways. But, resting in the middle is what suits me, I know now. Less searching and more listening offers depth and spaciousness. I think that discipline is committing oneself to awareness with intention and clarity.
Meditation and Yoga has been scientifically proven to support the immune system, lower blood pressure, diminish depression, increase productivity, and promote creativity. The buzz word or fascination with “Mindfulness” has deep roots in Buddhist teachings and can be a transformative practice for beginners and more advanced practitioners alike. The practice of compassion or Bodhicitta which is central to the Buddhist path, has also been proven to improve overall health, emotional well being, increase contentment, improve personal relationships, and benefit families and communities around the world.
Having a committed yoga and meditation practice “should” not be difficult or punitive. It’s not about what we can’t do but how we show up over and over again. Sometimes showing up to see what arises is exactly what needs to occur. Showing up with no agenda or expectations. It’s not about avoiding or trying to turn off your thoughts and emotions. It’s about training in awareness and to observe our thoughts, sensations and feelings without judgment.
After our amazing Retreat in Desert Hot Springs with 10 beautiful beings, I took some time this month to be alone. I called it a mini-solo retreat but that’s a bit of a stretch. My husband was away for a week so I used that week to meditate twice a day. Most mornings at sunrise I hiked up to a local point with my dog and practiced Prajna Paramita: The Great Mother. It’s a beautiful and simple practice. At night more meditation before bed. Sandwiched between these two sessions I had a light teaching schedule and prepared for a day-long retreat which I offered at my home. The entire month, I have dedicated more time to yoga/ movement, eating light meals, juicing, no alcohol and limited socializing daily. It’s interesting what arises…
A gentle and sustainable discipline is what feeds me. I have been down the road of every trendy nutritional inclination and spent thousands of dollars on supplements for over a decade including gluten free, vegan, raw, no sugar, paleo, etc...It’s all quite fascinating and I’m sure it has heightened my awareness and sensitivity in many ways. But, resting in the middle is what suits me, I know now. Less searching and more listening offers depth and spaciousness. I think that discipline is committing oneself to awareness with intention and clarity.
Meditation and Yoga has been scientifically proven to support the immune system, lower blood pressure, diminish depression, increase productivity, and promote creativity. The buzz word or fascination with “Mindfulness” has deep roots in Buddhist teachings and can be a transformative practice for beginners and more advanced practitioners alike. The practice of compassion or Bodhicitta which is central to the Buddhist path, has also been proven to improve overall health, emotional well being, increase contentment, improve personal relationships, and benefit families and communities around the world.
Having a committed yoga and meditation practice “should” not be difficult or punitive. It’s not about what we can’t do but how we show up over and over again. Sometimes showing up to see what arises is exactly what needs to occur. Showing up with no agenda or expectations. It’s not about avoiding or trying to turn off your thoughts and emotions. It’s about training in awareness and to observe our thoughts, sensations and feelings without judgment.
January Reflections 2020
Greetings in the New Year! Looking back on the past year is always of interest to me. I’m fascinated by memories that are so vivid and others that are embarrassingly vague. Many thousands of years ago, teachings from all traditions were passed down orally. Students and seekers would receive, process and share information through the power of their own memory. Now we have Google and “fact checking” to access certitude on a whim or at our convenience. So instead we partially listen knowing that we can look up something we missed. We cross check, embellish and compare, twist and edit to accommodate our situation. In over two decades of practicing yoga I’m still bewildered by some western adapted names for poses, to make it more accessible I suppose? The Sanskirt names of poses are an integral part of the ancient tradition and offer us a deeper understanding and relationship with them yet we choose to ignore that and call Utkatasana, for instance, “chair pose” when in actuality the translation is ‘fierce pose”. If you hang out in this pose long enough, you’ll know why because it certainly feels nothing like sitting in a chair.
The art of listening has faded. Active listening seems to be a dying art because we are all so distracted. What do we hear? How do we really listen? How much do we remember? When we are listening, where is our attention? When we listen to ourselves, is it true or a narrative that we create? When we listen to others, are we in the present moment or somewhere past or future?
Seeking knowledge or wisdom is an ancient aspiration of the human spirit. It continues to hold strong in our western culture today but most of us want enlightenment without putting in the effort. The yearning and eagerness to “wake up” is widespread as is accumulating knowledge. But is accumulation enough? I tend to think not. Most of it rolls off because we’re not particularly attentive or we feel spaced out or we simply forget. Until our experiences are fully absorbed, we are incomplete. I’m all too familiar with seeking and collecting teachings and teachers because I have had a lot of them. Not until I committed to a personal practice of contemplation through analysis and experimentation did I start to feel the deep assimilation of the inherent nature of reality. It’s ongoing... It may even be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to the real work of resting back in the nature of our own mind. There is suffering for sure and challenges are pervasive but insight shows us that love and freedom are stronger. Everyone wants to be free of suffering. It’s true, I read it on the internet.
Monday Night Meditation@ my home studio from 5 to 6pm. Together we’ll sit for about 30 minutes and then I’ll share a short dharma talk and discussion. I hope that you can join us. Everyone is welcome. No experience is necessary.
Greetings in the New Year! Looking back on the past year is always of interest to me. I’m fascinated by memories that are so vivid and others that are embarrassingly vague. Many thousands of years ago, teachings from all traditions were passed down orally. Students and seekers would receive, process and share information through the power of their own memory. Now we have Google and “fact checking” to access certitude on a whim or at our convenience. So instead we partially listen knowing that we can look up something we missed. We cross check, embellish and compare, twist and edit to accommodate our situation. In over two decades of practicing yoga I’m still bewildered by some western adapted names for poses, to make it more accessible I suppose? The Sanskirt names of poses are an integral part of the ancient tradition and offer us a deeper understanding and relationship with them yet we choose to ignore that and call Utkatasana, for instance, “chair pose” when in actuality the translation is ‘fierce pose”. If you hang out in this pose long enough, you’ll know why because it certainly feels nothing like sitting in a chair.
The art of listening has faded. Active listening seems to be a dying art because we are all so distracted. What do we hear? How do we really listen? How much do we remember? When we are listening, where is our attention? When we listen to ourselves, is it true or a narrative that we create? When we listen to others, are we in the present moment or somewhere past or future?
Seeking knowledge or wisdom is an ancient aspiration of the human spirit. It continues to hold strong in our western culture today but most of us want enlightenment without putting in the effort. The yearning and eagerness to “wake up” is widespread as is accumulating knowledge. But is accumulation enough? I tend to think not. Most of it rolls off because we’re not particularly attentive or we feel spaced out or we simply forget. Until our experiences are fully absorbed, we are incomplete. I’m all too familiar with seeking and collecting teachings and teachers because I have had a lot of them. Not until I committed to a personal practice of contemplation through analysis and experimentation did I start to feel the deep assimilation of the inherent nature of reality. It’s ongoing... It may even be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to the real work of resting back in the nature of our own mind. There is suffering for sure and challenges are pervasive but insight shows us that love and freedom are stronger. Everyone wants to be free of suffering. It’s true, I read it on the internet.
Monday Night Meditation@ my home studio from 5 to 6pm. Together we’ll sit for about 30 minutes and then I’ll share a short dharma talk and discussion. I hope that you can join us. Everyone is welcome. No experience is necessary.
December Reflections 2019
What does it mean to live our lives with intention and with the best interest of all beings in mind? I ask myself this question a lot, particularly if I’m feeling threatened or afraid. Victims of domestic violence or those who have lost a loved one understandably feel threatened, sad and/or angry on a regular basis. Living in “fight or flight” response is exhausting and poses health risks. There are a lot of situations in our lives that we have control over if we are moderately stable and lucky. But there are many unwelcome circumstances that happen to us and we have absolutely no control over. Consequently, lingering trauma is a result. We can ignore it or we can go to these places that scare us and feel painful. I have experienced transformation in myself and others through deep reflection and practice. The Dharmic path is not all candy and roses but it offers clarity and rewards that are invaluable.
I’m an empath so I often feel others emotions quite deeply. It’s one of the many reasons why I love to teach yoga and meditation. When tender hearts are revealed, the true nature of our being is raw, real and so incredibly alive.
Today feels like I have been moving bricks. One by one I stack them laboring to accomplish tasks that have been on my so called “to do list” for a while. I feel pulled in many directions, some self induced I suppose, but others are responsibilities that I just need to take care of and stop whining to myself.
It’s difficult to not feel the pulse of the holiday season as more cars flood the roads, more people crowd the stores, more indulgence, more events to attend, more, more, more Yet, when is it enough? When are we enough?
Bringing our difficulties onto the path is an integral part of awakening, I think. If we live long enough, we experience some level of trauma. Stacking bricks one by one carefully and consistently until it’s just enough to create a ledge to sit and rest upon. Pausing to sit and reflect gives us space to absorb the efforts or our work, practice and lives.
May all beings benefit.
What does it mean to live our lives with intention and with the best interest of all beings in mind? I ask myself this question a lot, particularly if I’m feeling threatened or afraid. Victims of domestic violence or those who have lost a loved one understandably feel threatened, sad and/or angry on a regular basis. Living in “fight or flight” response is exhausting and poses health risks. There are a lot of situations in our lives that we have control over if we are moderately stable and lucky. But there are many unwelcome circumstances that happen to us and we have absolutely no control over. Consequently, lingering trauma is a result. We can ignore it or we can go to these places that scare us and feel painful. I have experienced transformation in myself and others through deep reflection and practice. The Dharmic path is not all candy and roses but it offers clarity and rewards that are invaluable.
I’m an empath so I often feel others emotions quite deeply. It’s one of the many reasons why I love to teach yoga and meditation. When tender hearts are revealed, the true nature of our being is raw, real and so incredibly alive.
Today feels like I have been moving bricks. One by one I stack them laboring to accomplish tasks that have been on my so called “to do list” for a while. I feel pulled in many directions, some self induced I suppose, but others are responsibilities that I just need to take care of and stop whining to myself.
It’s difficult to not feel the pulse of the holiday season as more cars flood the roads, more people crowd the stores, more indulgence, more events to attend, more, more, more Yet, when is it enough? When are we enough?
Bringing our difficulties onto the path is an integral part of awakening, I think. If we live long enough, we experience some level of trauma. Stacking bricks one by one carefully and consistently until it’s just enough to create a ledge to sit and rest upon. Pausing to sit and reflect gives us space to absorb the efforts or our work, practice and lives.
May all beings benefit.
November Reflections 2019
While Gratitude seems relevant now, I would prefer to discuss Karma if thats ok? What I mean is that most of us toss around the expression of “good karma or bad karma” when it literally means ACTION. Karma refers to actions driven by intention, a deed done deliberately through body, speech and mind which leads to future consequences affecting every aspect of our lives.
The law of karma is an important one which governs our lives. It refers to the law of cause and effect :that every volitional act brings about a certain result. If our actions are motivated by greed, hatred or delusion, we are planting the seed of suffering. Conversely, when our actions are motivated by generosity, love and wisdom, then we are nourishing the karmic conditions for abundance and happiness.
When we understand the nuances of karma and live our understanding of karma then we tap into a sense of wholeness and peace. If we choose to live out of harmony and disconnected with nature and each other then we experience pain, dissonance and confusion. Imagine that we are all artists, but instead of canvas, paint and brushes as our medium, our bodies, minds and life experiences are the materials of our creative expression. A deep sense of fulfillment in practice comes from knowing this and from actively cultivating the life we choose to live.
The Dalai Lama often speaks freely about how acts of generosity are ways to free ourselves from suffering. The best way to heal is to be of service he often suggests. Giving generously without expectations of receiving is the ultimate liberation.
While the obvious topic this month is GRATITUDE, I’m taking the risk of busting it wide open. What we think, verbalize and act upon shapes our lives. Offer gratitude to yourself and those that support you on your path, then give it all away. Loosen the grip and perhaps some subtle transformations will naturally occur. Then reflect on the karmic conditions that arise.
Wishing you and yours a safe and joyous Thanksgiving!
While Gratitude seems relevant now, I would prefer to discuss Karma if thats ok? What I mean is that most of us toss around the expression of “good karma or bad karma” when it literally means ACTION. Karma refers to actions driven by intention, a deed done deliberately through body, speech and mind which leads to future consequences affecting every aspect of our lives.
The law of karma is an important one which governs our lives. It refers to the law of cause and effect :that every volitional act brings about a certain result. If our actions are motivated by greed, hatred or delusion, we are planting the seed of suffering. Conversely, when our actions are motivated by generosity, love and wisdom, then we are nourishing the karmic conditions for abundance and happiness.
When we understand the nuances of karma and live our understanding of karma then we tap into a sense of wholeness and peace. If we choose to live out of harmony and disconnected with nature and each other then we experience pain, dissonance and confusion. Imagine that we are all artists, but instead of canvas, paint and brushes as our medium, our bodies, minds and life experiences are the materials of our creative expression. A deep sense of fulfillment in practice comes from knowing this and from actively cultivating the life we choose to live.
The Dalai Lama often speaks freely about how acts of generosity are ways to free ourselves from suffering. The best way to heal is to be of service he often suggests. Giving generously without expectations of receiving is the ultimate liberation.
While the obvious topic this month is GRATITUDE, I’m taking the risk of busting it wide open. What we think, verbalize and act upon shapes our lives. Offer gratitude to yourself and those that support you on your path, then give it all away. Loosen the grip and perhaps some subtle transformations will naturally occur. Then reflect on the karmic conditions that arise.
Wishing you and yours a safe and joyous Thanksgiving!
October Reflections 2019
The human spirit includes our intellect, emotions, fears, passions and creativity. While we might live and express ourselves differently, we may not share the same values and principals, but I think the core idea we collectively fight for is the strength to protect our communities. Sadly, we are blinded and frustrated by our differences and it's easy to forget that we really are all the same. Our shared common denominator is breath, for without it we would be dead. Ultimately, we are only one community-a global breathing community.
Autumn is my favorite time of the year. Passion fruit have been raining down along our fence line, assorted pumpkins are on display all over town and in the markets. I married my beloved husband Lyle in October. These simple and ordinary observations remind me of the abundance in my life. Each breath is a gift, one that is shared with every person we come in contact with. Breath is life, life is love.
Only Breath by Rumi
Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu, Buddhist, Sufi or Zen. Not any religion or cultural system. I am not from the East or the West, not out of the ocean or up from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not composed of elements at all. I do not exist, I am not an entity in this world or in the next, did not descend from Adam and Eve or any origin story. My place is placeless, a trace of traceless. Neither body or soul. I belong to the beloved, have seen the two worlds as one and that one call to and know, first, last, outer, inner, only that breath breathing human being.
The human spirit includes our intellect, emotions, fears, passions and creativity. While we might live and express ourselves differently, we may not share the same values and principals, but I think the core idea we collectively fight for is the strength to protect our communities. Sadly, we are blinded and frustrated by our differences and it's easy to forget that we really are all the same. Our shared common denominator is breath, for without it we would be dead. Ultimately, we are only one community-a global breathing community.
Autumn is my favorite time of the year. Passion fruit have been raining down along our fence line, assorted pumpkins are on display all over town and in the markets. I married my beloved husband Lyle in October. These simple and ordinary observations remind me of the abundance in my life. Each breath is a gift, one that is shared with every person we come in contact with. Breath is life, life is love.
Only Breath by Rumi
Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu, Buddhist, Sufi or Zen. Not any religion or cultural system. I am not from the East or the West, not out of the ocean or up from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not composed of elements at all. I do not exist, I am not an entity in this world or in the next, did not descend from Adam and Eve or any origin story. My place is placeless, a trace of traceless. Neither body or soul. I belong to the beloved, have seen the two worlds as one and that one call to and know, first, last, outer, inner, only that breath breathing human being.
September Reflections 2019
My relationship with Technology is a mixed bag. On one hand, things like digital messages can enable me to connect with people on the other side of the country or across the continent in what feels like an instant. For some, it’s a necessity for their livelihood and provides more freedom to work remotely. . On the other hand, the way we use connections, posts and impulsive responses can also cause stress and open us up to miscommunication that could be avoided by a simple in-person conversation.
Regardless of the implications, we all seem to continue adopting new communication technologies for work and pleasure. I’m limited in my knowledge and lack expertise in most technological endeavors but nonetheless, I’m tirelessly sucked in.
Take our phones for example: How long do you spend on various social media platforms? The average person checks their phone a few times an hour or more. That’s a pretty substantial amount of attention to divert to an inanimate object.
Most importantly, I notice the level of distraction that most of us share when we are constantly looking at our phones. What are we looking for? A fact check? The email that can’t wait? The text that needs immediate response? The latest news? A tweet? A social media post ? Perhaps these are important at various times in our lives but it feels more like a virus that is seeping into our collective blood. What we all share is a desire to connect more fully yet we disconnect with each other when we reach for the phone in hopes of connection somewhere besides the present moment and what is happening right now.
Only six short years ago, my family and I had no TV and very slow internet service because we lived in a more rural pocket of unincorporated San Diego County. It was simple and quite pleasant until my kids entered high school and everything went “online”. We managed and everyone eventually went off to college unscathed.
Now I spend countless hours trying to familiarize myself with the modern world of technology. As I fumble through, trying to figure out a variety of ways to communicate authentically, I find myself both frustrated and accomplished. It doesn't come easily for me, but when it works and goes smoothly, it’s awesome!
Such is the case with yoga and meditation. It’s a slow process that unfolds over time. Be patient, hang in there, be curious and find a skilled teacher to guide you. Ease and Equanimity comes when one continues to practice with sincerity and respect for
A LONG PERIOD OF TIME without interruption.
My relationship with Technology is a mixed bag. On one hand, things like digital messages can enable me to connect with people on the other side of the country or across the continent in what feels like an instant. For some, it’s a necessity for their livelihood and provides more freedom to work remotely. . On the other hand, the way we use connections, posts and impulsive responses can also cause stress and open us up to miscommunication that could be avoided by a simple in-person conversation.
Regardless of the implications, we all seem to continue adopting new communication technologies for work and pleasure. I’m limited in my knowledge and lack expertise in most technological endeavors but nonetheless, I’m tirelessly sucked in.
Take our phones for example: How long do you spend on various social media platforms? The average person checks their phone a few times an hour or more. That’s a pretty substantial amount of attention to divert to an inanimate object.
Most importantly, I notice the level of distraction that most of us share when we are constantly looking at our phones. What are we looking for? A fact check? The email that can’t wait? The text that needs immediate response? The latest news? A tweet? A social media post ? Perhaps these are important at various times in our lives but it feels more like a virus that is seeping into our collective blood. What we all share is a desire to connect more fully yet we disconnect with each other when we reach for the phone in hopes of connection somewhere besides the present moment and what is happening right now.
Only six short years ago, my family and I had no TV and very slow internet service because we lived in a more rural pocket of unincorporated San Diego County. It was simple and quite pleasant until my kids entered high school and everything went “online”. We managed and everyone eventually went off to college unscathed.
Now I spend countless hours trying to familiarize myself with the modern world of technology. As I fumble through, trying to figure out a variety of ways to communicate authentically, I find myself both frustrated and accomplished. It doesn't come easily for me, but when it works and goes smoothly, it’s awesome!
Such is the case with yoga and meditation. It’s a slow process that unfolds over time. Be patient, hang in there, be curious and find a skilled teacher to guide you. Ease and Equanimity comes when one continues to practice with sincerity and respect for
A LONG PERIOD OF TIME without interruption.
Summer Reflections July and August 2019
"Waves are the practice of the water. To speak of waves apart from water or water apart from waves is a delusion. Water and waves are one. Big mind and small mind are one."
Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind
Last week I embarked on a journey of dance through Gabrielle Roth’s 5Rhythms with three close friends. We drove up the beautiful California Coast to Esalen Institute in Big Sur. Esalen is a magical place perched on over 25 acres of sacred land where the mountains meet the sea offering natural hot springs, organic farms, sumptuous food and a long history of seekers.
It was a gift to get away and harness a sense of freedom in my body and mind. It’s easy to get stuck in habitual patterns because they feel easy and less confrontational. But, it’s more spacious to open up to new and different ideas and perhaps ways of doing and not doing. Opening to possibilities and less judgement is a gateway to clarity in my mind and body.
Movement is a vehicle to ride the waves of this precious life. While we are always moving, (even in stillness) it changes. I love to move in all directions and I'm always exploring ways to do it. When I get stuck, feel frustrated or helpless, I tend to withdraw and don't want to move at all. Yet, moving out of inertia is exactly what I need. The part of myself that is sometimes tucked away and hidden, afraid to be seen as too much or sadly not enough takes over and I freeze. Thankfully, for me it's often fleeting but for some it can be paralyzing. Through movement I find freedom in my body so that I can be still. Stillness helps me peel away the layers of inhibition and self hatred. Not feeling “good enough” is a common theme we humans seem to share yet deny.
In these times of senseless gun violence and hate, we need to care for ourselves, each other and the planet so that we can rise up with a strong sense of self-worth and power. This dance of life is complicated and we need each other's support. Feeling empowered and uninhibited, we can share our true nature unconditionally and all beings benefit.
Don’t hide. Express yourselves fully in body, speech and mind.
Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind
Last week I embarked on a journey of dance through Gabrielle Roth’s 5Rhythms with three close friends. We drove up the beautiful California Coast to Esalen Institute in Big Sur. Esalen is a magical place perched on over 25 acres of sacred land where the mountains meet the sea offering natural hot springs, organic farms, sumptuous food and a long history of seekers.
It was a gift to get away and harness a sense of freedom in my body and mind. It’s easy to get stuck in habitual patterns because they feel easy and less confrontational. But, it’s more spacious to open up to new and different ideas and perhaps ways of doing and not doing. Opening to possibilities and less judgement is a gateway to clarity in my mind and body.
Movement is a vehicle to ride the waves of this precious life. While we are always moving, (even in stillness) it changes. I love to move in all directions and I'm always exploring ways to do it. When I get stuck, feel frustrated or helpless, I tend to withdraw and don't want to move at all. Yet, moving out of inertia is exactly what I need. The part of myself that is sometimes tucked away and hidden, afraid to be seen as too much or sadly not enough takes over and I freeze. Thankfully, for me it's often fleeting but for some it can be paralyzing. Through movement I find freedom in my body so that I can be still. Stillness helps me peel away the layers of inhibition and self hatred. Not feeling “good enough” is a common theme we humans seem to share yet deny.
In these times of senseless gun violence and hate, we need to care for ourselves, each other and the planet so that we can rise up with a strong sense of self-worth and power. This dance of life is complicated and we need each other's support. Feeling empowered and uninhibited, we can share our true nature unconditionally and all beings benefit.
Don’t hide. Express yourselves fully in body, speech and mind.
June Reflections 2019
My classes are pragmatic, accessible and inclusive. I humbly teach what I know with respect for the ancient traditions that have guided me over the past two decades. I am no sot interested in rigid principles laid down by authority as dogma nor am I drawn to new age ideas that feel loose in structure and offer limited stability, I rest in the middle. As I navigate through this precious life, it's the middle path that has most interested me. I think that when I listen carefully, talk less and observe more without judgement, there is a kind of clarity that presents itself.
"the quieter you become, the more you can hear."
Ram Dass
Warm wishes to all of you for a beautiful beginning to the summer months. Consider coming to Mexico with us in January. It's a wonderful experience on so many levels.
My classes are pragmatic, accessible and inclusive. I humbly teach what I know with respect for the ancient traditions that have guided me over the past two decades. I am no sot interested in rigid principles laid down by authority as dogma nor am I drawn to new age ideas that feel loose in structure and offer limited stability, I rest in the middle. As I navigate through this precious life, it's the middle path that has most interested me. I think that when I listen carefully, talk less and observe more without judgement, there is a kind of clarity that presents itself.
"the quieter you become, the more you can hear."
Ram Dass
Warm wishes to all of you for a beautiful beginning to the summer months. Consider coming to Mexico with us in January. It's a wonderful experience on so many levels.
May Reflections 2019
Spring has sprung and the weeds at my house are ubiquitous. I’m grateful for the rain this winter and hope that the ground has absorbed enough water to carry us through the summer here in Southern California where it’s typically pretty dry and threats of wildfires are more widespread. Plants, Animals and Beings all require adequate hydration to function properly, we know. Water is our shared essential need because water is life. It can provide moisture and growth. Water is hot, steamy and can burn. It’s cold, icy and can freeze. It’s smooth, glassy and calm. Water has many variables and can be unpredictable. If we as adults are approximately 60% composed of water, we too are unpredictable.
Healthy synovial fluid in the cavities of our joints acts as irrigation for the human body. It makes it easier for us to move more freely and articulate our joints when the flow is unconfined. Similarly, when the mind is empty of obsessing, fixated and distracted thoughts, it too finds ease to be free.
Always moving, changing, shifting, flowing, sometimes dry, stagnant, stuck like the garden we too are nature. Nature is us. The soil is rich with possibilities to cultivate but not without effort. The seeds we plant depend greatly on their quality, how we prepare the soil and how much water we can offer them.
Take care of yourself and the environment, we are all one!
Spring has sprung and the weeds at my house are ubiquitous. I’m grateful for the rain this winter and hope that the ground has absorbed enough water to carry us through the summer here in Southern California where it’s typically pretty dry and threats of wildfires are more widespread. Plants, Animals and Beings all require adequate hydration to function properly, we know. Water is our shared essential need because water is life. It can provide moisture and growth. Water is hot, steamy and can burn. It’s cold, icy and can freeze. It’s smooth, glassy and calm. Water has many variables and can be unpredictable. If we as adults are approximately 60% composed of water, we too are unpredictable.
Healthy synovial fluid in the cavities of our joints acts as irrigation for the human body. It makes it easier for us to move more freely and articulate our joints when the flow is unconfined. Similarly, when the mind is empty of obsessing, fixated and distracted thoughts, it too finds ease to be free.
Always moving, changing, shifting, flowing, sometimes dry, stagnant, stuck like the garden we too are nature. Nature is us. The soil is rich with possibilities to cultivate but not without effort. The seeds we plant depend greatly on their quality, how we prepare the soil and how much water we can offer them.
Take care of yourself and the environment, we are all one!
April Monthly Reflections 2019
It's not always easy for me to capture the essence of my experiences through words but I continue to give it the old college try every month because it’s a “practice” in and of itself. It’s a format I committed to a few years back in order to maintain connection, recall my experiences and share with those who are interested (and still read).
I often correct people when they say, “I do yoga” and gently remind them that none of us “do yoga”, we practice yoga. Practicing yoga is an ongoing exploration with ourselves and more about “undoing” rather than "doing" if we approach it skillfully. Every action, intent or preparation leaves us with a samskara ( an imprint, impression or impact to simplify) in the deep structure of our mind. That being said, these manifest as tendencies, impulses, habitual patterns or avoidances depending on what we do and what happens to us. So if we approach our practice with misunderstanding, with ignorance or apathy those are the seeds (samskaras) we will manifest. The growth of these seeds (if any) do not promote union. In fact, they are in direct conflict with the true meaning of yoga.
I love asana and somatic movement so please don't misunderstand. Our bodies are amazing vehicles to be revered and appreciated. After all, we carry them around with us every day until they deteriorate so it’s both a gift to have a healthy body and it takes some effort to maintain its vitality. But working with the mind is of greater interest to me.
I just returned from a 12 day journey to Colorado. Road trip with my dear friend Sue provided a vast canvas for reflection on our way to Tara Mandala Retreat Center in Pagosa Springs. In the past, I have participated in various retreats there which offer specific buddhist teachings and practice but this was different. This 10 day extravaganza was called The 21 Tara Drupcho: Yumka Dechen Gyalmo, The Inner Sadhana of The Treasure Vase of Great Bliss. Are you lost yet? I was too for the first three days:)
Of course, I could feel my resistance, reservations, doubts, uncertainties all bubbling to the surface upon arrival. Ah ha...there they were, my samskaras. Triggers, patterns, imprints all manifesting themselves in my practice. As I relaxed and allowed the experiential process to unfold, everything started to open up for me. Alas, letting go and dropping in was my only option. During these longs days of sitting for hours at a time, we raised Bodhicitta (aspiration to awaken), offered prayers, praise and mantras. The recitation was continuous and fast moving. No time to be distracted or think of anything else besides being completely present and resting in the visualization. If that wasn't enough, I was asked to play the kangling, a tibetan trumpet or horn-like instrument as part of the ceremony. It was both terrifying and an honor. This position put me in the front row of these sacred ceremonial proceedings each day. Fully committed and all in, I was able to softened my distractions, I vaguely knew what I was doing (still questionable tho) but more importantly now I had an obligation. The intensity was building as we awaited the visit from a high Lama. The morning felt like a play rehearsal as we prepared for his arrival with props and regalia in tow. The final day offered a Tsog which is a very rich and celebratory feast and practice. It is said that merit and wisdom are accumulated from such offerings.
I can feel a lightness in body and mind since arriving home a few days ago. I look forward to seeing you soon.
It's not always easy for me to capture the essence of my experiences through words but I continue to give it the old college try every month because it’s a “practice” in and of itself. It’s a format I committed to a few years back in order to maintain connection, recall my experiences and share with those who are interested (and still read).
I often correct people when they say, “I do yoga” and gently remind them that none of us “do yoga”, we practice yoga. Practicing yoga is an ongoing exploration with ourselves and more about “undoing” rather than "doing" if we approach it skillfully. Every action, intent or preparation leaves us with a samskara ( an imprint, impression or impact to simplify) in the deep structure of our mind. That being said, these manifest as tendencies, impulses, habitual patterns or avoidances depending on what we do and what happens to us. So if we approach our practice with misunderstanding, with ignorance or apathy those are the seeds (samskaras) we will manifest. The growth of these seeds (if any) do not promote union. In fact, they are in direct conflict with the true meaning of yoga.
I love asana and somatic movement so please don't misunderstand. Our bodies are amazing vehicles to be revered and appreciated. After all, we carry them around with us every day until they deteriorate so it’s both a gift to have a healthy body and it takes some effort to maintain its vitality. But working with the mind is of greater interest to me.
I just returned from a 12 day journey to Colorado. Road trip with my dear friend Sue provided a vast canvas for reflection on our way to Tara Mandala Retreat Center in Pagosa Springs. In the past, I have participated in various retreats there which offer specific buddhist teachings and practice but this was different. This 10 day extravaganza was called The 21 Tara Drupcho: Yumka Dechen Gyalmo, The Inner Sadhana of The Treasure Vase of Great Bliss. Are you lost yet? I was too for the first three days:)
Of course, I could feel my resistance, reservations, doubts, uncertainties all bubbling to the surface upon arrival. Ah ha...there they were, my samskaras. Triggers, patterns, imprints all manifesting themselves in my practice. As I relaxed and allowed the experiential process to unfold, everything started to open up for me. Alas, letting go and dropping in was my only option. During these longs days of sitting for hours at a time, we raised Bodhicitta (aspiration to awaken), offered prayers, praise and mantras. The recitation was continuous and fast moving. No time to be distracted or think of anything else besides being completely present and resting in the visualization. If that wasn't enough, I was asked to play the kangling, a tibetan trumpet or horn-like instrument as part of the ceremony. It was both terrifying and an honor. This position put me in the front row of these sacred ceremonial proceedings each day. Fully committed and all in, I was able to softened my distractions, I vaguely knew what I was doing (still questionable tho) but more importantly now I had an obligation. The intensity was building as we awaited the visit from a high Lama. The morning felt like a play rehearsal as we prepared for his arrival with props and regalia in tow. The final day offered a Tsog which is a very rich and celebratory feast and practice. It is said that merit and wisdom are accumulated from such offerings.
I can feel a lightness in body and mind since arriving home a few days ago. I look forward to seeing you soon.
March Monthly Reflections 2019
What some don’t understand is that It takes courage to go on retreat. They might think it's time to "check out" and relax. But without experiencing the subtle complexities of the journey from concept to completion, one can not fully grasp the depth and potency of a yoga and meditation retreat in a place like Peru’s Sacred Valley.
Months prior, there are decisions to make, logistics to orchestrate and financial commitments to finalize. Then, ready or not, here we go…
A long arduous flight for some, a day or two in Cusco to acclimate to the altitude of 11,000 feet, exploring temples, Inca ruins, crafts, food and perhaps an opportunity to enjoy a Pisco Sour before meeting up with the group. Inevitably the group makes their first introductions on the night before the actual retreat begins and most are shy, reserved, and some fearful. We have come a long way together and trust that everything will be ok?
We set out for this adventure to Peru’s Sacred Valley almost two weeks ago. Now I sit at the airport in Lima awaiting my connection back to San Diego reflecting on our adventure. Thinking of the participants individually and how each person brought their unique gifts to create an amazing collective energy. Together we laughed, cried, climbed Huayna Picchu, contemplated and reflected on the nature of mind. We practiced yoga morning and night, meditated and practiced integrating with the five elements, We ate together, drove on bumpy dirt roads together and shared intimate moments and conversations.
A memorable retreat is not “a trip to the spa,” it’s one that breaks open our hearts and reveals our vulnerability, taps into our wisdom and connects us to yourselves and others on a deeper and more intimate level. When it’s over we feel satiated, nourished, slightly tired because we have worked hard in contemplation.. We all want nothing more than to keep these experiences and feelings alive.
Pausing throughout my day helps me tap into these experiences and ultimately connect with my internal landscape which is in constant motion.. These short breaks stop me from fixating or ruminating about things I have no control over. When I stop and open to the vastness around me, there is no separation between inner and outer.
What some don’t understand is that It takes courage to go on retreat. They might think it's time to "check out" and relax. But without experiencing the subtle complexities of the journey from concept to completion, one can not fully grasp the depth and potency of a yoga and meditation retreat in a place like Peru’s Sacred Valley.
Months prior, there are decisions to make, logistics to orchestrate and financial commitments to finalize. Then, ready or not, here we go…
A long arduous flight for some, a day or two in Cusco to acclimate to the altitude of 11,000 feet, exploring temples, Inca ruins, crafts, food and perhaps an opportunity to enjoy a Pisco Sour before meeting up with the group. Inevitably the group makes their first introductions on the night before the actual retreat begins and most are shy, reserved, and some fearful. We have come a long way together and trust that everything will be ok?
We set out for this adventure to Peru’s Sacred Valley almost two weeks ago. Now I sit at the airport in Lima awaiting my connection back to San Diego reflecting on our adventure. Thinking of the participants individually and how each person brought their unique gifts to create an amazing collective energy. Together we laughed, cried, climbed Huayna Picchu, contemplated and reflected on the nature of mind. We practiced yoga morning and night, meditated and practiced integrating with the five elements, We ate together, drove on bumpy dirt roads together and shared intimate moments and conversations.
A memorable retreat is not “a trip to the spa,” it’s one that breaks open our hearts and reveals our vulnerability, taps into our wisdom and connects us to yourselves and others on a deeper and more intimate level. When it’s over we feel satiated, nourished, slightly tired because we have worked hard in contemplation.. We all want nothing more than to keep these experiences and feelings alive.
Pausing throughout my day helps me tap into these experiences and ultimately connect with my internal landscape which is in constant motion.. These short breaks stop me from fixating or ruminating about things I have no control over. When I stop and open to the vastness around me, there is no separation between inner and outer.
February Monthly Reflections 2019
Human attention span is at its lowest ever (thanks to our smartphones and technology). According to a study done by Microsoft, the average human being now has an attention span of eight seconds. This is a decrease from the average attention span of 12 seconds in 2000. It’s astounding how much we all know these factual statistics but choose to avoid acknowledgement. Finding attention in all things is work but SOOOO... worth it.
My commitment to practice and life is to pay more attention to the ordinary. Finding joy in all things that may sometimes get overlooked can be the most rich and delightful. Deep thinkers, loving hearts, and an attentive listeners are beings to attract and sustain so don't overlook them! They may not be as obvious as the flamboyant characters in your life but they are patiently awaiting your attention and can be your long lasting and steady companions.
"May all beings, without one exception have happiness and the causes of happiness." A LA LA HO!
Human attention span is at its lowest ever (thanks to our smartphones and technology). According to a study done by Microsoft, the average human being now has an attention span of eight seconds. This is a decrease from the average attention span of 12 seconds in 2000. It’s astounding how much we all know these factual statistics but choose to avoid acknowledgement. Finding attention in all things is work but SOOOO... worth it.
My commitment to practice and life is to pay more attention to the ordinary. Finding joy in all things that may sometimes get overlooked can be the most rich and delightful. Deep thinkers, loving hearts, and an attentive listeners are beings to attract and sustain so don't overlook them! They may not be as obvious as the flamboyant characters in your life but they are patiently awaiting your attention and can be your long lasting and steady companions.
"May all beings, without one exception have happiness and the causes of happiness." A LA LA HO!
January Monthly Reflections 2019
The Mexico retreat this year was both fulfilling and fun for all who attended. It’s a gift for me to be able to teach students willing to be vulnerable and curious while diving deep into yoga and meditation practice. This special time together offers space for contemplation and transformation. It’s a time to build friendships, look at ourselves more intimately and relax. The pace that most of us are running this race we call life is too fast for reflection. With the speed to “get things done” and “check things off the list”, we have little time (if any) to notice what is even happening or how we feel. I am most grateful for the opportunity to create spaciousness in my life. Whenever you can...try and create space for reflection.
Lyle, my beloved husband of 25 years, had a melanoma removed two weeks ago. It’s worrisome but we are hopeful. No cancer was found in the lymph node that the surgeon removed and Lyle is doing remarkably well. When first diagnosed, the landscape of my mind was like a pinball machine moving its flippers at rapid speed with no proficiency. As I slowed down and became more mindful, less anxious and more spacious, the prospect of cancer and/or life-changing obstacles seemed less daunting. Change is inevitable and anything can and does happen to even the healthiest, nicest people. So, I’m simply watching my thoughts and responses but do recognize and understand that more uncertainties will surely present themselves in the future.
It’s hard to know what obstacles will present themselves in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Be kind to yourself and others. Rejoice! Create a daily practice of doing the least harm to yourself and others. What does that look like for you?
The first of the Yamas or moral values in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras is Ahimsa which means non-harming in Sanskirt. When we act with Ahimsa in our heart-mind, this means not physically harming others, ourselves, or nature, not thinking negative thoughts about others or ourselves and making sure that what we do and how we do it is done in harmony rather than aggression. Seems easy right?
Harming or Violence can often manifest in our daily lives without being aware of it. If we look closer at how often our conduct and responses contain elements of violence throughout our day, it’s a bit alarming. Subtle actions against ourselves hold an enormous amount of charge. So when our thoughts contain negative responses like disappointment, resentment, guilt, or when we feel shame, we are creating violence and thus a personal assault. Tapping into our innate intelligence, that which is pure and unscathed is more accessible than we think. Practice and Love more!
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don’t strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo.
Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Why identify with, and become attached to it, passing judgment upon it and ourselves?
Far better to simply and let the entire game happen on its own, springing up and falling back like waves--without changing or manipulating anything--and notice how everything vanishes and reappears, magically, again and again, time without end.
Only our searching for happiness prevents us from seeing it. t’s like a vivid rainbow which you pursue without ever catching, or a dog chasing its own tail.
Although peace and happiness do not exist as an actual thing or place ,it is always available and accompanies you every instant.
Don’t believe in the reality of good and bad experiences they are like today’s ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky.
Wanting to grasp the ungraspable, you exhaust yourself in vain. As soon as you open and relax this tight fist of grasping, infinite space is there, open, inviting and comfortable.
Make use of the spaciousness, this freedom, and natural ease.
Don’t search any further.
Don’t go into the tangled jungle looking for the great awakened elephant, who is already resting quietly at home in front of your own hearth.
Nothing to do or undo, nothing to force, nothing to want, and nothing missing----Emaho! Marvelous!
Everything happens by itself.
Lama Gendun Rinpoche
The Mexico retreat this year was both fulfilling and fun for all who attended. It’s a gift for me to be able to teach students willing to be vulnerable and curious while diving deep into yoga and meditation practice. This special time together offers space for contemplation and transformation. It’s a time to build friendships, look at ourselves more intimately and relax. The pace that most of us are running this race we call life is too fast for reflection. With the speed to “get things done” and “check things off the list”, we have little time (if any) to notice what is even happening or how we feel. I am most grateful for the opportunity to create spaciousness in my life. Whenever you can...try and create space for reflection.
Lyle, my beloved husband of 25 years, had a melanoma removed two weeks ago. It’s worrisome but we are hopeful. No cancer was found in the lymph node that the surgeon removed and Lyle is doing remarkably well. When first diagnosed, the landscape of my mind was like a pinball machine moving its flippers at rapid speed with no proficiency. As I slowed down and became more mindful, less anxious and more spacious, the prospect of cancer and/or life-changing obstacles seemed less daunting. Change is inevitable and anything can and does happen to even the healthiest, nicest people. So, I’m simply watching my thoughts and responses but do recognize and understand that more uncertainties will surely present themselves in the future.
It’s hard to know what obstacles will present themselves in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Be kind to yourself and others. Rejoice! Create a daily practice of doing the least harm to yourself and others. What does that look like for you?
The first of the Yamas or moral values in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras is Ahimsa which means non-harming in Sanskirt. When we act with Ahimsa in our heart-mind, this means not physically harming others, ourselves, or nature, not thinking negative thoughts about others or ourselves and making sure that what we do and how we do it is done in harmony rather than aggression. Seems easy right?
Harming or Violence can often manifest in our daily lives without being aware of it. If we look closer at how often our conduct and responses contain elements of violence throughout our day, it’s a bit alarming. Subtle actions against ourselves hold an enormous amount of charge. So when our thoughts contain negative responses like disappointment, resentment, guilt, or when we feel shame, we are creating violence and thus a personal assault. Tapping into our innate intelligence, that which is pure and unscathed is more accessible than we think. Practice and Love more!
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don’t strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo.
Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Why identify with, and become attached to it, passing judgment upon it and ourselves?
Far better to simply and let the entire game happen on its own, springing up and falling back like waves--without changing or manipulating anything--and notice how everything vanishes and reappears, magically, again and again, time without end.
Only our searching for happiness prevents us from seeing it. t’s like a vivid rainbow which you pursue without ever catching, or a dog chasing its own tail.
Although peace and happiness do not exist as an actual thing or place ,it is always available and accompanies you every instant.
Don’t believe in the reality of good and bad experiences they are like today’s ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky.
Wanting to grasp the ungraspable, you exhaust yourself in vain. As soon as you open and relax this tight fist of grasping, infinite space is there, open, inviting and comfortable.
Make use of the spaciousness, this freedom, and natural ease.
Don’t search any further.
Don’t go into the tangled jungle looking for the great awakened elephant, who is already resting quietly at home in front of your own hearth.
Nothing to do or undo, nothing to force, nothing to want, and nothing missing----Emaho! Marvelous!
Everything happens by itself.
Lama Gendun Rinpoche
December Monthly Reflections 2018
Hello Friends!
As the end of the year quickly approaches, it’s an invaluable time to reflect if we create space for that. Most often, we rush around keeping ourselves busy, moving so fast that reflection is the last thing on our “to do list”. With a warm heart of reflection and gratitude, I share my thoughts about this past year and hopes for the year ahead.
Top of the list, I wish for our country to join other nations in taking effective steps to reduce global warming. Also, I hope to see more women and minorities with thoughtful and intelligent ideas elected into positions at the state and federal level to replace older white men that prove to be insensitive to the needs of the less fortunate. In addition, the list goes like this…
All beings are of importance
Feed your Demons don’t fight them
Share your feelings with people you trust
Use less plastic
Reuse more than you recycle, but do both efficiently
Challenge yourself physically and mentally
Relax
Eat consciously
Talk less, listen more
Hug like you mean it or don’t bother
Practice yoga don’t “do it”
Sit quietly daily
Be in nature whenever possible
Fear less and give more
Wishing you and your family and friends a joyful and healthy new year. I hope to see you more often in 2019. If you are interested in participating in either our Wednesday night class or weekly meditation practice there might be an open spot.
Four Immeasurables Prayer
May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May all beings never be separated from the supreme joy that is beyond all sorrow.
May all beings abide in equanimity, free from attachment and aversion.
Hello Friends!
As the end of the year quickly approaches, it’s an invaluable time to reflect if we create space for that. Most often, we rush around keeping ourselves busy, moving so fast that reflection is the last thing on our “to do list”. With a warm heart of reflection and gratitude, I share my thoughts about this past year and hopes for the year ahead.
Top of the list, I wish for our country to join other nations in taking effective steps to reduce global warming. Also, I hope to see more women and minorities with thoughtful and intelligent ideas elected into positions at the state and federal level to replace older white men that prove to be insensitive to the needs of the less fortunate. In addition, the list goes like this…
All beings are of importance
Feed your Demons don’t fight them
Share your feelings with people you trust
Use less plastic
Reuse more than you recycle, but do both efficiently
Challenge yourself physically and mentally
Relax
Eat consciously
Talk less, listen more
Hug like you mean it or don’t bother
Practice yoga don’t “do it”
Sit quietly daily
Be in nature whenever possible
Fear less and give more
Wishing you and your family and friends a joyful and healthy new year. I hope to see you more often in 2019. If you are interested in participating in either our Wednesday night class or weekly meditation practice there might be an open spot.
Four Immeasurables Prayer
May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May all beings never be separated from the supreme joy that is beyond all sorrow.
May all beings abide in equanimity, free from attachment and aversion.
November Monthly Reflections 2018
Feelings of sadness, disgust, helplessness and rage permeate my being today. 13 people were shot and killed at The Borderline Bar and Grill in Thousand Oaks CA last night. Another incident of gun violence where vulnerable people were murdered from senseless violence and survivors are left traumatized.
Recent history indicates that this kind of irrational aggression is on the rise. Just in the past two months, we have had over twenty mass shootings. This is horrific! Here are some statistics
https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/reports/mass-shooting
It’s understandable that more people are living in fear when in fact they feel unsafe in their place of worship, a yoga studio, and in a neighborhood bar offering line dancing for college students. We tend to read about these horrific happenings and feel sympathetic perhaps, but what would it feel like if one of these innocent people were your friend, daughter, son, or even someone you vaguely knew? This problem is everyone’s problem and it’s in our backyard and nobody is exempt.
When will our country wake up to the dangers of unrestricted guns and senseless civilian ownership of semi-automatic weapons? Young men suffering from PTSD, mental illnesses and isolation need support. Enough is enough!
Kindness and compassion are stronger than violence. I feel in my bones that the more divided we are as a nation, the more aggression we will feel. When I hear about people buying and accessing guns to protect their families in response to these shootings, I can’t help but think we are attempting to put out a fire with gasoline. It’s crazy!
I hope that as a county we can work together compassionately to heal and move forward with skillful means to stop this cycle of violence. I have always loved this poem by David Whyte called Loaves and Fishes. He so eloquently shares that we are hungry for kindness and love.
As we approach Thanksgiving, a time of reflection and gratitude, let us come together in peace.
Loaves and Fishes
by David Whyte
This is not
the age of information.
This is NOT
the age of information.
Forget the news
and the radio
and the blurred screen.
This is the time
of loaves
and fishes.
People are hungry
and one good word is bread
for a thousand.
Monthly Reflections September/October 2018
Distraction is widespread and it’s so easy to lose our attention and become entangled in mundane, habitual, disturbing or stimulating happenings rather than be in the presence of what is actually happening. I know because I am human. Even now, I sit at my computer, which is old and slow, I feel a bit impatient and my mind spirals in different directions. Being present with others and ourselves offers us the opportunity to tap into what is most important. Freedom in our lives and feeling safe are both basic and vital requirements for finding love and happiness. I am outraged and disgusted by the division and hate that has infiltrated our country. It’s sad and disheartening to observe how senseless violence seems common these days and basic human decency is rare. Nevertheless, I am confident that change is constant, bullies never win in the long run and love is stronger than hate.
Yesterday was my 25th wedding anniversary and the day itself was uneventful. Yet, last week I spent 10 sumptuous days with my husband in Mexico to celebrate together. It really is a luxury to get away, be in nature, in quietude, with limited access to Wi-Fi and FLOAT.
One of my favorite moments on most days was to swim in the ocean. I made a daily effort to pause, taste the salt on my lips and feel the sensation of the water around me. I would lie on my back and float, gazing up at the vastness of the open sky. As I felt the echo of my own breath oscillate, I felt supported by the mysterious water below me. As I peered upward at the spacious sky, I felt a kind of lightness that one only feels when we let go of anxiety and distraction. I was in union between earth and sky, floating and completely absorbed.
“We are uncomfortable with empty space…As you become comfortable with this non-referential state, you begin to move away from habitual clinging. We are typically so caught up in our difficulties and thoughts that we don’t experience this state, so resting in it is like letting ourselves float in the ocean and being rocked by it instead of drowning and struggling against it.”
Lama Tsultrium Allione
August Reflections 2018
Inspiration is nice and essential, I think. It’s the grasping for, or even worse, waiting around for something to inspire us that seems futile and ineffective. Change is for sure, but motivation doesn’t just happen. It can’t be inherited, applied like sunscreen, purchased from a store or borrowed from a friend. It’s work!
Today I pulled some weeds in my garden. I dug a few holes and cleared away the lifeless tomato vines that once produced some beautiful fruit this summer. I am reminded of the hard work it takes to maintain a garden and the rich gifts it offers when it is consistently cared for.
I have spent almost two decades seeking various methods, modalities and regimes for enrichment in my life. I feel inspired for a while, move on and then look for another level of inspiration yet all the while; it’s always with me. This precious life offers so much inspiration if we are willing to do the work and show up particularly when it ain’t easy.
The thing we call inspiration is not outside of ourselves. To me, it’s an internal informant secretly communicating precisely what needs to happen and when. The problem is, sometimes I don’t listen. But when I do, things are more joyful. When I work through practice without over effort, and listen attentively I can activate (as can you) this inner voice of inspiration.
So when I feel inspired by external forces, that’s great! But, I recognize that these forces are not the solution they simply help me tap into myself on a deeper level. Looking beyond myself for something that lies inside is worthless. Pulling up the weeds of emotional darkness or digging down into the holes of emptiness or composting the psychological scraps is what cultivates a rich garden. The work I do on my cushion, on my mat and in my relationships, is what inspires me. I am inspired every day by my students, teachers, and all the children in the world. With your support, we can all bear fruit from the seeds we sow together.
“Do you love this world?
Do you cherish your humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath?
Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden, and softly,
and exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with the white and pink flowers,
with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling
their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are
nothing, forever?”
Mary Oliver
July Reflections 2018
What is the difference between exercising and practicing yoga?
The word yoga means to yoke. It’s a complete conversion with self and the magnificent forces of nature. It’s the action or karma of embodying symbolic archetypes, visualizing, breathing, and becoming more intimate with ourselves and others. It’s difficult to know this however because our marketing culture streamlines and reduces its significance to a mere workout. Seems like, if a person has been practicing yoga for an extended period of time but is a jerk, then they might want to try something else. All kidding aside, the lessons we learn from practice teach us to be kind.
Asanas are the postures we practice and perform as physical exercise to promote health and reduce disease. Ancient texts refer to asana as
“a seat to be held in position that is firm, but relaxed.” After placing my body into positions that cultivate awareness, relaxation and concentration for over twenty years, I did and “do” a lot of asana. However, I feel incomplete without my meditation practice.
We live in a society of “doing” stuff and accomplishing things. Most of our modern western culture meanders along in our busy lives on a particular trajectory whether we strategize or not. Some of us finish high school and go off to college if we are lucky enough to afford it and be interested in it. Some have a family, a career, a partner, responsibilities, setbacks, failures, commitments and great joys. You get the idea.
All this “doing” we accumulate can surely reward us with accomplishments that certainly would not happen without the effort that we put into “doing” but until we stop to embody the posture, deity, sensation or the present moment and until we rest back instead of push forward, we are still just on the treadmill of “doing” and on the road to nowhere.
I am both inspired and committed to the practices of Vajrayana Buddhism as taught by Lama Tsultrim Allione. Very simplified, Vajrayana is the path of transformation. Working with the Mandala principal of transforming encumbered patterns into wisdom has expanded my perspective and offered me more clarity and ease in my everyday life. Sharing them is even better!!!!
As I continue to weave the energies of movement, sound, mantra with meditation and visualization, it feels all-inclusive and complete to me. Asana by itself is only a few pieces in a big box of chocolate.
So next time you tell someone that you “do yoga” think about its meaning and your intention.
June Reflections 2018
I had visions of grandeur this month when I imagined myself writing my monthly missive but presently I have, “writers block”. My elaborate narrative in my mind of course, lies deep in my imagination and has fallen flat.
Oh no…Time is running out because June is coming to an end, I have self inflicted responsibilities that need my attention, my three adult kids have moved home for the summer and require assistance, Trump’s ongoing offensive comments and actions trigger my sensibilities affecting my central nervous system, a friend’s husband is sick and I’m absorbing her sadness, I’m heading out of town on Sunday morning with lots of loose ends to tie up and my mind is spinning out of control with confusing thoughts…Does this busyness sound familiar?
We all get caught up in our own storyline. The never ending “to do list” can take us to the places we don’t want to go! But alas… here we go. It’s the journey of sadness, sorrow, pain, suffering, elation and joy. The answer for me is PAUSE…
I’m heading to Colorado where the sky is vast, open and so blue. Lyle (My husband) and I will be together on a road trip through Sedona, Mesa Verde and Durango. Then I’m off to Tara Mandala solo on retreat.https://taramandala.org
I look forward to relaxing, reflecting and even going to the places that scare me:) I wish you all a joyous summer and beyond.
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win, cause you'll play against you.
All Alone! Whether you like it or not,
Alone you will be something quite a lot.
And when you're alone. There' a very good chance
You'll meet some things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
That can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go, though the weather be foul,
On you will go, though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many a frightening creek,
Though your arms may get sore
And your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike.
And I know you'll hike far
And face up to your problems
Whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
As you already know.
You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure where you step.
Step with care and great tact
And remember that life's a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
By: Dr. Seuss
May Reflections 2018
Yesterday was Saka Dawa, a holy festival on the Tibetan calendar celebrating the birth, death and enlightenment of The Buddha. Any actions done during this time both auspicious and harmful are supposedly multiplied in power. Seems like a good time to cultivate more loving-kindness in our lives.
Shakyamuni Buddha was born Siddhartha Gautama, prince of the Shakyas around 2,500 years ago in (what is now) Nepal. He grew up in luxury with attendants to serve and entertain him.
During his life, the prince, wanderer and ascetic faced the four common sufferings to all people: birth, aging, sickness and death. As he began his search for a solution to human suffering, he renounced his luxurious life style and embarked on a spiritual quest to understand how one could overcome suffering.
For years, he subjected himself to austere practices and ascetic disciplines; fasting and living as a hermit yet found it impossible to reach liberation through self-mortification.
In BodhGaya India where I was fortunate enough to visit a few years ago, he sat under a pipal tree, entered a deep state of meditation and awakened to the true nature of life. It was under this tree that he attained enlightenment through quietude, practice and meditation and then became the Buddha or “Awakened One”.
While remaining under the tree pleased by his liberation but troubled by the perils he now faced in longing to share his wisdom with others, he traveled, promoting peace and compassion teaching people to access their own innate potential to be awake.
In our modern day, extreme circumstances such as luxury and deprivation might offer some insight but through the teachings (Dharma) and my own personal practice it feels like integration and equability in all things is more sustainable. It’s not easy to always be “awake” or fully present or even ” in the moment” despite our best efforts but we can take refugee in both our own and others ambitious attempts to try. I think it’s important to recognize and acknowledge that everyone is doing his or her best.
If collectively we try to do our best in everything, including thought, speech and action we would probably all be a bit more awake to the presence and dignity that surrounds us.
April Monthly Reflections 2018
Perfecting posture for meditation comes not so much by doing but by not doing. Surely we have to put some effort into training the body to sit straight and be aligned. However, after that is accomplished, the next step is to learn to do less, allowing the posture to settle in for meditation and open into a sort of effortless effort. It is an active form of doing nothing, of consciously ceasing to place any effort into the posture. This conscious effort to release any mode of effort can be felt experientially and viscerally. You can know for yourself that this really is an effective, useful, and key principle in developing a sitting posture for meditation, calming the nervous system and an overall metaphor for life.
I am reminded of sutra 2:47 that Patanjali so eloquently compiled for us.
prayatna shaithilya ananta samapattibhyam
This sutra suggests that asanas are attained by a relaxation of effort and by absorption of the unlimited or infinite. I think it also communicates a way of loosening tension, grip or effort in all things. In trying to “do” or accomplish a posture (or anything for that matter) through aggression, we generate a narrow viewpoint and lose sight of the wider perspective. But allowing our attention to merge with the uncontrolled nature of reality provides us access to pure consciousness. It feels limitless and less contracted. I know for myself that when I think I can control a situation, it typically does not go as I anticipated.
I think we all try to control things on a certain level but to what degree can we actually control anything? I was sick with the flu this month for almost 10 days. Like so many it seems, I too fell prey to the “ I’ll recover much faster than most because I’m healthy” attitude. But alas, the flu needed to run it’s course regardless of my wanting to control or change the situation. My will and determination was not going to change anything. So there I was mostly sitting, sleeping, reflecting, and feeling sorry for myself doing absolutely nothing. And in those precious moments I realized that surrender was the only option. Doing nothing was exactly what I was supposed to be doing.
Wishing you optimal health in mind and heart.
March Reflections 2018
The calendar tells us that spring this year started on Tuesday, March 20th. The spring season typically promotes hope, happiness, flowers, optimism and warmth (in temperature and attitude). The season also brings observations of rejuvenation as celebrated in many cultures. So as the sun crosses the equator, it’s important to recognize that we are making a transition rather than marking a specific period in time.
While marking time can be valuable, it also can create anxiety. Most of us feel pressure with a deadline yet inspired by a goal. If we didn’t have these intervals called time, we may not ever hold each other accountable for anything. Conceivably, we might never get to work, school or happy hour “on time.”
While spring has sprung in some parts of the world, the Northeast is stricken with another snowstorm in three weeks affectionately known as the four’easter. I grew up in the northeast and it never felt like spring in March to me. I believe it is essential to consider the subtleties that arise as time passes, light morphs, wrinkles materialize, relationships change, flowers bloom, weeds surface and moods shift. Taking the time we need to observe our own inner climate offers us wisdom. Without inner heeding, our reactions are usually impulsive and unskillful. Ask yourself what is the weather like inside my ever-changing heart-mind?
This time of year also holds certain anticipation. Spring-cleaning perhaps, eradicating what no longer serves us, learning something new, eating fresh seasonal fruits and vegetables, shedding the winter sludge both mentally and physically and basketball.
March Madness is here! I love basketball for the athleticism but I don’t follow the stats or anything like that. It’s just kinda fun to watch and notice the excitement around it.
I hope Spring 2018 is the beginning of positive change. Winter, in some respects, was a bit bleak…with bombings, more school shootings and the ongoing chaos in the White House (to mention a few). I’m so incredibly proud of all the teenagers who, without hesitation, spoke out and will March for our Lives on Saturday March 24. I am with you in spirit.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
― Margaret Mead
February Reflections 2018
Let go of your worries
Rumi
Let go of your worries
and be completely clear-hearted,
like the face of a mirror
that contains no images.
If you want a clear mirror,
behold yourself
and see the shameless truth,
which the mirror reflects.
If metal can be polished
to a mirror-like finish,
what polishing might the mirror
of the heart require?
Between the mirror and the heart
is this single difference:
the heart conceals secrets,
while the mirror does not.
It seems to me that Rumi is suggesting that we let our hearts reflect who we are and not whom we think we should be or what other people think of us. May we aspire to be “clear-hearted” by asking our heart what sort of “polishing” it needs?
Perhaps, in a compassionate way we can offer it LOVE.
It is through persistent practice, determination and patience that our resolve shifts from the foggy, ambiguous and blurred mirror of our fabricated self to the clarity of bodhicitta or awakened heart-mind.
January Reflections 2018
A few days ago was Martin Luther King Jr.’s Birthday. A man whose life brought hope and healing to America, The timeless values he taught us through his example couldn’t be more poignant and current today than they were back then. The values of courage, truth, justice, compassion, dignity and humility so radiantly define his character. On this Day, we commemorate the universal, unconditional love, forgiveness and non-violence (Ahimsa) that empowered his most revolutionary spirit.
“Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.”
~Martin Luther King Jr.
As we move gingerly into another calendar year, I hope that we can all find the strength and courage to keep our hearts and minds unguarded while we take action for what is right. The time to wake up is now and the simplest gestures toward each other and the planet can make a long-lasting impact. Solidarity offers us the support we need for ultimate liberation or Moksha in Sanskirt. Thank you all for your friendship, love and ongoing support. I feel honored to be your sister of the cosmos.
~Women’s March is this Saturday January 20!
December Reflections 2017
Tomorrow is the winter solstice acknowledging the shortest day and the longest night of the year. The solstice marks the beginning of winter and a rebirth of the sun. Interestingly enough it is one of the oldest known winter celebrations both spiritually and scientifically.
The term solstice is derived from the Latin world "solstitium," which means, "Sun standing still." During this time, the sun ostensibly stands still directly over the Tropic of Capricorn, which is 23.5 degrees south of the equator (which I just learned)
The thought of stillness seems foreign to some as we rush around this time of year purchasing gifts online and off, hustling to events that feel like obligation rather than enthusiasm and consuming way too much of everything. Most of us spend the year in a constant state of busyness so we never really stop to pause and see what is bubbling within. But with the December Solstice energy, we are all given the opportunity to take a peek at what is happening on a heart and soul level by standing still with the sun.
The biblical story of Christmas is also upon us where Mary gives birth to a son named Jesus in a manger and I am reminded of the sweetness and importance of birth, simplicity, the offerings and the miracle of life itself. Stories like this can help us to cultivate a deeper connection to truth, dignity and love.
This has been a most challenging year and I suspect that regardless of your religious beliefs, most would agree that the behaviors of some powerful men in both government and the private sector have acted contrary to the biblical story and its essence of dignity.
May we use this time to slow down, be still and connect to our true essential nature. This is not the story we carry/hold or tell ourselves but the kernel, seed or spore of our spirit. My intention this holiday season is to experience each moment in its form without hurry. I wish you a very joyful solstice and beyond…
Sleeping in the Forest
By Mary Oliver
I thought the earth
remembered me, she
took me back so tenderly, arranging
her dark skirts, her pockets
full of lichens and seeds. I slept
as never before, a stone
on the riverbed, nothing
between me and the white fire of the stars
but my thoughts, and they floated
light as moths among the branches of the perfect trees. All night
I heard the small kingdoms breathing
around me, the insects, and the birds
who do their work in the darkness. All night
I rose and fell, as if in water, grappling
with a luminous doom. By morning
I had vanished at least a dozen times
into something better.
November Reflections 2017
Gratitude is a reminder of the radiant peace that rests at the core of our being. Even in churning confusion, even amidst fear of not having or being enough, even at the bottom of a seemingly boundless pit is that peaceful light. When we strengthen our awareness at that fundamental level, I think we become free to make choices that reflect our true and authentic nature.
As Cliché as it sounds, we all have so much to be grateful for. Life itself is a gift. Slowing down in the midst of the rush is challenging and takes some concentrated effort. But, when we begin to grasp at things beyond our control (which I do) it never seems constructive. Trying to make things different or attempting to manipulate without awareness feels like a calamity. It’s when we pay attention to the moment that is directly in front of us without rush or distraction that is when we can connect more deeply to others and ourselves. That being said, I offer you this poem by Mary Oliver.
Oxygen
Everything needs it: bone, muscles, and even,
while it calls the earth its home, the soul.
So the merciful, noisy machine
stands in our house working away in its
lung-like voice. I hear it as I kneel
before the fire, stirring with a
stick of iron, letting the logs
lie more loosely. You, in the upstairs room,
are in your usual position, leaning on your
right shoulder which aches
all day. You are breathing
patiently; it is a
beautiful sound. It is
your life, which is so close
to my own that I would not know
where to drop the knife of
separation. And what does this have to do
with love, except
everything? Now the fire rises
and offers a dozen, singing, deep-red
roses of flame. Then it settles
to quietude, or maybe gratitude, as it feeds
as we all do, as we must, upon the invisible gift:
our purest, sweet necessity: the air.”
This month offered me time away with my kids, a weekend with old friends in celebration of life, and nourishing time spent in nature. For the first time in a while, I feel re-energized and equipped with vitality to greet the holiday season. I hope to keep it simple this year. And I hope the same for you. My intention is to NOT get caught up in the hustle and excess of the season but to enjoy it for the essence of the spirit. Feel free to remind me and hold me accountable in December.
Wishing you all a very fruitful and joyous Thanksgiving!
September/October Monthly Reflections 2017
The word “Vulnerability” gets tossed around like a football these days. In 1996 Pema Chodron, a beloved contemporary American spiritual leader, activist, and author amongst Buddhist and non-Buddhists alike wrote When things Fall Apart which ignited the necessity to expose ones vulnerability as a method to break through suffering. The book was and continues to be a modern-day offering for working with painful emotions and it helps to communicate and encourage people to open up rather than shut down.
In 2010, Brene Brown’s TED Talk “The Power of Vulnerability” went viral and suddenly it became fashionable to display our vulnerability. And while I understand the simplicity of that statement, the sentiment feels true. Through Brown’s research, she shows that vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging and love (among other things) so we should embrace it! I agree wholeheartedly but I also feel the importance of discernment and selectivity to safeguard us from harmful circumstances. We are all more sensitive and highly affected then we might acknowledge.
What if we could create and cultivate a nourishing veil (so to speak) around ourselves so that we can stay grounded, self regulated and true to what is real? What if our practice offered us access to a safe and comforting internal environment where we could slowly, at our own pace, explore compassion and grace without feeling overwhelmed by our quivering vulnerability.
In recent weeks, we have been barraged by senseless violence, ongoing government chaos, natural disasters and sexual harassment scandals assaulting us from every angle. Even if our lives are not directly disturbed by these events, we are subtly storing this distress inside. It is painful and seemingly unprecedented.
Yoga and meditation offer us comfort, stability and a loving embrace. It is through sustained practice that we begin to see things more clearly, support ourselves and others with more compassion and take wise action when needed. While it takes time and patience, our true nature is revealed which includes being vulnerable yet RESILIENT.
July/ August Reflections 2017
Every summer for the past several years I have intentionally chosen an experience providing challenge and exhilaration. Most of these previous events have included voyages to climb a mountain, traverse across a desert in extreme heat or begin an ascent up a steep rock between two steel cables used as handholds during a lightening storm. This year was a little different…
In an attempt to establish a deeper connection with my 23-year-old son and selfishly wanting to view the eclipse in its totality, I traveled almost 1000 miles in my car to spend a week at The Oregon Eclipse Festival.
While the journey was lengthy, the time spent traveling was memorable with three days in the Trinity Alps where the pristine water from the spring is drinkable and the oxygen feels abundant. We then spent a few nights in Ashland where we took in a delightful play and strolled in Litha Park. What could be more perfect than the last leg of the journey ending in Totality- that point of a solar eclipse when the sun is entirely covered by the moon?
After many hours of waiting in line to enter the festival, my son and I arrived at the Festival 35 miles outside of Prineville Oregon. If you look on a map, it’s called Big Summit Prairie, a privately owned ranch of over 55,000 acres inside the Ochoco National Forest. Yes, it’s out there!
While the sun baked the festival well into the 80’s everyday and an overall pumping sound of deep base permeated the acreage regardless of where you stood, 30 thousand people came together for this event. Most in they’re mid to late twenties but some parents with little kids and a portion of remaining Deadheads all looking for something.
Freedom and love seemed to be the theme of the festival. I often heard a variety of teachers facilitating a class or workshop saying the same thing: “we are all here to release the stagnation in our bodies.” Yet, I witnessed a lot of people hanging out doing nothing except drugs. I can’t pretend to be a saint or behave as if I have never been reckless in my life because I have. But, fantasizing about liberation and deepening consciousness by dropping acid in a dusty parking lot, exposing genitals, dressing funkier than the next guy and listening to really loud music while producing trash in a once unspoiled setting doesn’t feel like the way to cultivate connection or sustainable relationships for me. I can hear myself sounding older.
I would be remiss not to mention the incredible Earth Art that was created for this event. Structures and recycled sculptures including bridges and tree houses surrounded the lake. Happenings of music, dance, yoga, wellness workshops, permaculture, Ayurveda, nutrition and much more were continuous all day and night. The sun exposure, dust and wind were elements to combat each day. The stimulus was extreme and intense.
So yes, this summer I challenged myself. I was able to use the tools that I have refined over my 20 years of practice to stay centered and above all with my own experience rather than be judgmental and critical. There are many ways to find liberation and even “to free stagnation” but I don’t think Festivals are for me. I enjoy stillness and quiet that allows me space to feel what is occurring whether it is joy or sorrow.
On the day of the eclipse, I felt a sense of benevolence and a swarm of lights shining against the oncoming darkness. The atmosphere became cold and dark. I felt a loving closeness with my son yet an inevitable divide too. As the the moon slowly passed in front of the sun we were one for a short time, but now I realize he needs to keep moving without my penetrating light behind him.
"When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
Age of Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius
Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius
Aquarius"
June Reflections 2017
As I kid, I have some fond memories of summertime growing up on the east coast. It was hot and humid from sunrise to sunset. Catching fireflies in a glass jar at night while gazing up at the evening sky with a free and easy spirit was pervasive. Time has changed and life feels a lot different after living in California for 30 years.
June offers a sort of excitement and transformation as we move from the busy-ness of a school year or work cycle to a more relaxed schedule. The days are longer, the scholastic grip to “get ahead” seems to wane and the gardens are abundant with sumptuous fruit and vegetables for our nourishment. I feel fortunate and recognize that so many do not have the privilege of time or abundance.
I had the great pleasure to be in the presence of the Dalai Lama at UCSD few weeks ago. While I was restless to arrive exceptionally early for optimal seating, the rest of my friends and my 23 year old son were less enthusiastic about the early influx, yet they humored me by capitulating as we arrived a few hours before the presentation.
His Holiness spoke on the topic of “Embracing the Beauty of Diversity in our World.” As I have had time to reflect, I acknowledge that the human race is astonishingly diverse. Gender, ethnic backgrounds, race, class, religion, nationality, sexuality, philosophy and lifestyle are just some. And, the areas in which we differ are never-ending. Yet, at a basic level, we are all of the same species. We experience highs and lows in life and do our best to find happiness and fulfillment. Our common joys, pains and despairs bring us together, but diversity is what makes us unique.
Honestly, the title of His Holiness’s public talk could have been anything because his message to spread peace, compassion and kindness is always the prevailing theme. One in which I could hear over and over again because we all need to hear this message. May we all have the patience to look beyond ourselves and share this message of love, kindness and compassion regardless of our unique differences. And may the privilege of time and abundance be shared with those who have less than us.
May Reflections 2017
This month delivered a particular preciousness to the atmosphere. More rain has fallen this year than I can ever remember and the air is fresh, flowers are blooming and the weeds are ubiquitous. While we are always faced with obstacles, both substantial and trifling, I can’t help but feel the potential that exists everywhere. When we settle into the potentiality of our true nature, the awakened heart-mind arises and provides us with wisdom.
As most of us speed through our frenetic lifestyle searching, grasping, coveting, embellishing and perhaps just getting by, we forget that what we need most is at the center of our inner landscape. Sometimes it’s frustrating for me to think of all the time I wasted looking outside myself and (continue to do so), when it’s actually right here inside me (and you too).
I just returned from a week at Tara Mandala, a Buddhist Retreat Center in Pagosa Springs Colorado. 15 students and myself leaped into a rich practice of transformation by working with the Mandala as a symbol of the psyche. Through visualization, mantra, mudra and sensory awareness, we investigated that inner landscape. At times I felt overwhelmed by the weeds of my own overgrowth but trust prevailed and ultimately, it all felt joyful and liberating. While we worked with art, sound and the elements in nature as a way of connecting more deeply to ourselves, sweet relationships developed and compassion irrigated those connections.
My/our practice thus continues, and actually never ends, it only changes. With a deep appreciation for all my incredible students and those willing to be curious, change, grow and learn with me, I bow. Without you, I would have no canvas to paint on and explore any landscape at all. Your inquiries and openness keeps me studying practicing and laughing.
So off the mat, off the cushion and into our lives we wholeheartedly participate in all the possibilities of maintaining the connection to our true essential nature, Purusha (Sanskrit) or Primordial Wisdom as we recognize that it is palpable. In fact, one mind training technique called a slogan says this…
“In post meditation, be a child of illusion.”
This suggests that we often stumble along within an environment that we recognize to be dubious and illusory. So rather than trying to make our world solid and predictable, and complaining when that is not the case, we could maintain the glimpses of the illusory nature of experience that arise in meditation practice, and touch into that open illusory quality in the midst of our daily activities. A less tight and more open quality is the ground on which the compassionate actions of the bodhisattva (awakened heart-mind) can and will arise.
April Monthly Reflections 2017
Politically our country continues to be divided and an underlining chorus of fear, distrust and animosity prevails in the mainstream media and beyond. It’s despairing and feels a bit overwhelming sometimes, yet I am still hopeful. Love is greater than fear and ignorance. People are kindhearted and insights are everywhere. Before reacting with aggression, perhaps we can try to stop, sense, and act with discernment for the benefit of all (Viveka Khyati).
A positive outcome from the recent rainstorms brought an abundance of jubilant wild flowers and clean air to our neighboring areas this month. Spring has sprung and the drought in California is officially over! Pure water, clean air and quality of life are elements that I never want to take for granted. They nurture our vital force and support our daily existence. When I consider the gift of being able to share resources and basic humanity with all of human kind, I am reminded of one of my favorite Yoga Sutras:
maitri karuna mudita upekshanam sukha duhka punya apunya vishayanam bhavanatah chitta prasadanam
In relationships, the mind becomes purified by cultivating feelings of friendliness towards those who are happy, compassion for those who are suffering, goodwill towards those who are virtuous, and indifference or neutrality towards those we perceive as wicked or evil.
Regardless of our background/history/ views, we all have more room for compassion and understanding. Remember, one never knows how much someone else is suffering.
I dedicate this piece to Catharine Chichakian who affected so many lives and brought so many lives into the world and into our community. May she rest in everlasting peace.
March Reflections 2017
March is the month of re-birth and growth. As the light changes and flowers bloom, it feels celebratory. As we shift from winter into spring a time where the sun crosses the celestial equator, when day and night are approximately of equal length my own vitality changes too. I’m grateful because I was feeling a bit sluggish.
Interestingly enough, March is the time of Navratri, a celebration of the divine feminine for 9 days in India. Typically three deities (Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati are represented as symbols of three dimensions of the feminine. Simultaneously, they also represent the three basic qualities of existence or “Gunas.” These Gunas are Tamas (darkness, destructive, chaotic), Rajas (passion, action, confusion) and Sattva (goodness, constructive, harmonious). All three of these Gunas are present in everyone and everything. One might consider Gunas analogous to that of our personality or innate nature.
When we are able to connect with nature and acknowledge that we are nature, this is union or Yoga. Earth is Tamas, Sun is Rajas and Moon is Sattva. Balancing the ever-changing virtues of our existence is ongoing and can be challenging. Yet, I think that it is through self-compassion and kindness towards others that real steadiness ensues; steadiness or balance that is shouting for our deepest consideration. Consideration of these matters offers spaciousness for all the qualities of our existence without judgment or criticism.
Dr. Dianne Sterling and I embarked upon another Mindfulness Yoga for Trauma course last night. As 13 exquisitely courageous people arrived, I was reminded again that together we must draw upon these qualities of existence for our own nourishment because we need all three of them. To nourish doesn’t mean attaining power or control it’s actually more about discovering liberation.
February Reflections 2017
Life is a limitless transition. I’m intrigued by how many transitions we make in a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime. It’s always occurring yet we often don’t even notice or pay attention. Some of the most poignant moments in my life occur amid the space between movement and stillness. It feels like a sort of intermission and an opportunity to reflect my own scattered thoughts that often block a state of clear, unattached awareness. An awareness that I know already exists yet oftentimes not paid attention to. Maybe it’s because I am distracted and my senses feel violated? What about you?
The presidential election results were and continue to be a colossal transition for most of us. It’s painful to have our senses bombarded with fear and anger on a daily basis. It’s hard for me not to have empathy for those that live in distress and trepidation about their future. Some days I feel horrified by the latest political antics but then joyful watching our nation come together in solidarity. I relish in the humor that SNL and Full Frontal provide but it’s embarrassingly so close to the truth that I pause and feel disheartened.
My husband and I lost our friend Rob last month. He died whilst surfing from a heart attack. While I can’t imagine a more appropriate setting for him to pass, it felt way too soon. He was an iconic waterman. Kind and intelligent, he leaves behind his wife and two children. We will miss him. Death is the ultimate transition and we don’t know when, where or how it will present it’s self. When someone we care about passes away, it makes us more aware of our own mortality. Transitioning from this life to the unknown is mysterious.
Transitions are pervasive and there is no way around them. So whether we are resting or uneasy in the presence of now, consider some investigation. Through Svadhyaya or self-study in Sanskrit, we consciously observe our internal atmosphere rather than ignore it. Watch the changes of our personal barometer and the movements of our sensations. Be sensitive and use discernment. What is the weather like in there? It could be very interesting to notice without judgment or criticism and perhaps offer some new meaningful insights.
The Journey
By Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice – - -
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations – - -
though their melancholy
was terrible.It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do – - – determined to save
the only life you could save.
January 2017 Reflections
Last Saturday at the Women’s March in San Diego and around the globe was an inspiration for all. It wasn’t just women. It was a diverse crowd walking peacefully in solidarity. It was energetic and calm at the same time. I experienced people being thoughtful and making an effort to be kindhearted amongst the hoards of individuals. People were intelligent, kind, compassionate, friendly and not angry or aggressive in any way.
Margaret Wheatley (writer, teacher, activist) wrote, “There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about.”
People indicated that they cared about a plethora of issues carrying signs and supporting human rights. Some signs were painfully serious; some were humorous and some truthfully horrifying. But, everyone shared the common thread of support for humanity. It was a beautiful display of democracy. Yesterday, I heard Governor Jerry Brown deliver his State of the State address. It too was equally poignant as he quoted from Woody Guthrie’s song:
This Land is Your Land.
Nobody living can ever stop me,
As I go walking that freedom highway;
Nobody living can ever make me turn back
This land was made for you and me.
Governor Brown said, “ California is not turning back. Not now, not ever.”
Change is certain but boundless opportunities are omnipresent. I may not be able to do something BIG but what if we all can do something small. Don’t be afraid to speak up, protect the environment and human rights. Be kind! Most importantly, lets not normalize horrendous behavior. Remember, some things are NOT ok.
The New Year began for me with an intimate gathering of friends and family. I ripened one year older as I seem to do every year in January. Then a few days in the Eastern Sierras offered the Winter Wonderland that I often miss living in Southern California. A deep appreciation for the mountains and the beauty of Mother Nature still penetrates my bones. I also spent a week in Big Sur where I learned a few things that I had not expected to learn. From the Mountains to the Oceans, the vastness of our own awakening is nearby. May we all be activists and environmentalists respecting and standing up for the world we so appreciate and care about. The recent rain is a symbol of growth and change. As we slowly make our way out of this long dry drought, I am optimistic that the voices of democracy will be heard and that true peace will prevail for all beings everywhere.
December Reflections 2016
Tis the season again…I began stuffing holiday cards into envelops as I have done for the past 19 years when all of a sudden it felt pretty superficial. Call me Grinch but sending off cards with “LOVE, PEACE and JOY” plastered all over the front page didn’t represent how I’m currently feeling. Of course, I am grateful for my life, family and friends but disappointed with the direction that our country may be headed. Too early to tell but indicators are significant and choices are being made. There is sadness in the atmosphere that can’t be denied. Below are a few points that come up for me as we move forward into a New Year and leave this one behind.
It is my sincere hope that peace prevails and that globally we stand together free from greed, hatred and cruelty.
All life is one
Never undervalue what other people are going through
Kindness is the greatest religion irrespective of your beliefs
You can love someone from a distance
Floss…it works!
Not everyone will “like” you
It’s impossible to feel good all the time so find ease in discomfort
It’s healthy to agree to disagree
Refined Sugar is unsympathetic
Humor is healing
Yoga is the art of self-healing, be gentle in your practice
War is senseless
Finding your passion is overrated
Drink moderately
Eat the most wholesome food you can afford
Be as close to nature as often as possible
Don’t litter…Ever!
Listen to your intuition…it’s usually right
Take time for silence, every day
Contemplate others more than yourself
Walk, Run, Dance, and Move it feels good
Embrace the Earth…it’s our mother
This body is a rental so don’t get too attached
November Reflections 2016
"Integrity is when I do what I know to be right, even if no one else will ever find out."
Less then one week after the election, dazed and perplexed from the results, I joyfully attended a Dharma Talk given by Sharon Salzberg, one of America’s most beloved meditation teachers. She emphasized the importance of ascertaining “the fundamentals” which resonates with me. In times of turbulence and greater uncertainty, it’s essential to back up, slow down and practice the fundamentals that our practice is built upon. In our culture, we have a funny distaste for studying the basics. Truthfully, most of us associate that with a sign of weakness. It might sound rudimentary or too easy to competitive types (myself included). But the reality is, the fundamentals are the essential pieces of any practice regardless of how long you have been at it. When life throws us uncertainty (which is ever changing and constant) we can be prepared to handle it because we have embraced the fundamental skills. Observation of our breath, Body Scan or standing in Tadasana and other standing poses that promote earth element are what nurture us. Never underestimate the power of a “simple practice.” Practicing Metta or loving-kindness is an anecdote to fear Sharon suggested. Next time you feel angry or fearful offer kindness and observe your breath then see what happens. You might be surprised that it too passes.
A few weeks ago, I offered a workshop to a group of delightful students at Yoga Del Mar. The theme was Gratitude and its message appeared to be extremely necessary during these times of uncertainty. I taught gentle backbends which open the chest cavity and create space around the diaphragm. On a physical level, opening the region in and around the diaphragm rebalances the autonomic nervous system, aids in digestion and reduces tension in the neck and shoulders. But more subtly, backbends offer us an undeniable energetic pulse. Tapping into the frequency of back bending is a gift. If we focus less on performance and maintain a vigilance of consciousness there is more sovereignty in any pose. Do we practice for exercise, ego or other?
Exercise is great…don’t misunderstand me. I have been active all my life and hope to continue if my body cooperates. However, if we consider ourselves like an ever-changing moving puzzle, there are many pieces. Exercise is only a piece of the puzzle though. It functions as a vital component in our overall maintenance and lifestyle. While asana, the third limb of eight (or a piece of the puzzle so to speak) is physical, we can consider approaching it with a more expansive view. Asana or poses help blood flow and promote circulation, digestion and lymph health. They can move energy and change your mood. They build strength and flexibility but I think more and encourage you to investigate the endless possibilities.
Ego is great too! We wouldn’t motivate without it. But, when we use ego to feed our lives, and our concerns are filled with how the shape of our bodies appears, we move away from yoga. Showing off externally through poses or other means just builds ego and takes us away from the presence of who we are. This behavior actually takes us away from ourselves and out of yoga.
The workshop closed with much needed Restorative poses. Rest and Reflect is the medicine we all need right now. As we approach Thanksgiving remember that Gratitude is “a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of benefit that one has received or will receive.” Be kind and create space to process and reflect.
"Gratitude is a reminder of the radiant peace that is at our core. Even in swirling confusion, even amidst tremendous fear of not having or being enough, even at the bottom of this seemingly endless pit is that peaceful light. When we strengthen our awareness of that center of being, we become free to make choices that reflect that nature."
Jean Baptiste Massieu
October Reflections 2016
With only a week before one of the most controversial elections of all times, the importance of truth feels like an important subject. Satya is the Sanskrit word for truth. It often refers to virtue or being truthful in one's thought, speech and action. It is the virtuous restraint from falsehood and distortion of reality in one's expressions and actions. It seems so simple and straightforward yet most of us have a difficult time grasping these concepts.
One academic study found that humans lie 10 times a week. We lie because we want to appear more confident or we think it makes someone else feel better. Children and young adults often lie in hopes of feeling more accepted and included. But the interesting statistic is that deception prevents us from cultivating intimacy. Intimacy offers us that tenderness that most of us crave in a relationship. It is the driving force for lasting connections. So what we desire most, we dodge.
Sadly, we start to believe our own lies. What would happen if we were all more authentic and real? What does that even look like? Incidentally, when researchers refer to lying, they don't include the mindless pleasantries or polite equivocations we offer each other in passing, such as "I'm fine, thanks" or "No trouble at all." An "official" lie actually misleads, deliberately conveying a false impression. So complimenting a friend's tragic new shirt or offering to pay the bill when you have no money, doesn't even count.
Radical self-honesty has its difficulties and sometimes pausing is a good answer. Our practice offers us so much truth and pause if we take the time to notice. Instead of over exertion, use support. Rather than physically approach your practice, watch what happens when you don’t get attached to the outcome. Commit to a practice of exploring your true (real) self in relationship to the world around you and not separate. It is not always about just ourselves. Be careful of mistaken awareness and spiritual bypassing.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not the truth. “
Marcus Aurellius
Remember; if you are over 18 you have the right to VOTE!
September Reflections 2016
"There is a harmony in autumn, and a lustre in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!" ― Percy Bysshe Shelley
Today is the Autumnal Equinox when light and darkness are approximately the same. But not for long as the earth never stops moving around the sun. Amongst the movement, “harmony” is a feeling that we all aspire to experience in our lives. Many cultures and religions celebrate holidays and festivals around the September Equinox. It is a time to respect the impending dark while giving thanks to the sunlight. It’s a good time to enact rituals for protection and security as well as reflect on successes or failures from the past months.
Please consider the challenges of those that are deeply suffering all over the world. Cultivate compassion as we strengthen the resolve of leaders to help end the fighting and choose a future of PEACE and harmony.
August Reflections 2016
Ouch…stung by a bee! I would have predicted that would happen while in the mountains a few weeks ago but instead it occurred on the patio outside my home last week. It’s been a long time since I was stung and I don’t remember having an allergic type of response. My arm swollen and fiery, I watched the symptoms slowly decrease. It’s another reminder that everything is impermanent and somewhat unpredictable.
Nestled in the deep forest of the Trinity Alps in Northern California where bears are contemporaneous with campers and yellow jackets are ever-present, I spent five restful days with my husband Lyle and our dear friends Jim and Stephanie. Our friends bought this special property 25 years ago (when I was 25) and have been cultivating the area ever since. They now own additional property where they raise cattle and chickens producing grass-fed meat, organic chickens and eggs. During our stay, we picked berries and baked a cobbler in their wood fired outdoor oven. They have a natural spring running through the property, which provides pure running water. It’s quite magical so my description can’t begin to describe the surrounding beauty. I returned unscathed with fond memories and a lingering freshness for the great outdoors.
Now at home nursing my puffed-up arm (better now), I miss the preciousness of being in nature. Nature provides a doorway into ourselves where time feels limitless and moments alone and together feel stress-free, carefree and tranquil. Sharing food and drinks, swimming in streams, hiking and undertaking puzzles has a certain simplicity that generates effortlessness. Nature provides a calm abiding or Shamayta in Sanskrit that gets misplaced in our everyday lives. Being surrounded by nature makes me feel alive and uninhibited.
Fall is a wonderful time of year. For me, it always feels like a new beginning. A shift in the surrounding light, the change of colors from the leaves on the trees, the shorter days, the kids going back to school and people just seem less guarded and even vulnerable. I am no exception…
I started teaching a new class on Monday nights (5:30pm) at Yoga Del Mar: Sorrento Valley. The studio is a nice clean open space with fresh new props and new faces. It feels like the beginning of a new school year. Come and check it out!
May we all” FALL” into something new with a fresh perspective and simultaneously be supported by our inner wisdom. In his poem
Rilke suggests with imagery, the power for spiritual potential or awakening. When he mentions “ leaves”, he isn't describing them in a purely physical or graphic sense; he treats them with an existential understanding. There is more to autumn than the turning of leaves on earth— "as if orchards were dying high in space” Rilke's contemplation on seasonal change is a reflection on what lies beyond us, or perhaps deep within us — the falling feeling of aloneness and the gravity of life itself. But if this is a poem about gravity and resistance, it's also one of buoyancy and release. "We're all falling," he writes — the leaves, the stars, the earth — swirling out of control yet surrounded by something, or "Someone," of infinite calm.
'Autumn' by Rainer Maria Rilke
The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up,
as if orchards were dying high in space.
Each leaf falls as if it were motioning "no."
And tonight the heavy earth is falling
away from all other stars in the loneliness.
We're all falling. This hand here is falling.
And look at the other one. It's in them all.
And yet there is Someone, whose hands
infinitely calm, holding up all this falling.
July Reflections
I just returned from two precious weeks in Colorado. The vast open sky is what touches me most. There is a quality of wide openness amongst the surrounding nature that carries me back year after year. Living in Southern California, we rarely experience a rainstorm with thunder and lightning like those on a summer night in Colorado. The sky is cobalt blue and filled with white fluffy clouds that seem almost unreal at a glance yet they are so perfectly formed like illustrations from a children’s book.
I landed in Durango to spend the first six days at Blue Lake Ranch for Patricia Walden’s annual retreat. This is the fourth-consecutive year that I have attended. Almost all of the attendees are long time students of Iyengar Yoga and/or teachers of Iyengar Yoga. And, It is with great respect that I humbly bow to the teachings of B.K.S Iyengar. These teachings have brought intelligence to my own yoga practice; they have facilitated my efforts to help others, and they have provided a system for yoga asana to be accessible for ALL through the brilliant use of props.
Iyengar students and teachers alike are serious. They spend countless years studying and practicing mostly asana and the yoga sutras of Patanjali. The path which most take is that of “assessment. “
The eligibility for the preliminary assessment (introductory level 1 and 2) is demanding and includes prerequisites for all candidates. Candidates for assessment must be current members of the Iyengar Yoga National Association, which includes a fee. Candidates must have two certified teachers recommending them and a minimum of three years of continuous practice and study. Candidates must also have the required teacher education training approved through IYNAUS. All assessments include a written test as well as teaching a mock class with unknown students in the presence of at least three certified teachers. The requirements increase significantly, as the certification level becomes more advanced.
My path in practicing yoga has been broader based and I have opted to incorporate a number of different disciplines and modalities in my practice and teaching. Being an “outsider” at an Iyengar retreat resulted in some interesting observations. Patricia Walden is an inspiration at almost 70 years of age. She eloquently holds the space for practice and communicates her wisdom as taught by the Iyengar family. In a class of almost 50 very qualified participants, there is a natural desire to seek the “guru’s” attention. I felt myself fall prey to this desire and had to work through various emotions when I didn’t receive an expected degree of attention. In the end, I came to appreciate being outside (or on the periphery) of the circle. Letting go of my desire for the teacher’s attention allowed a greater space to observe the boundaries of the “circle”. As well, it allowed more freedom to contemplate the benefits and drawbacks of being in or out of the “circle”. As the week progressed, I felt quenched with asana and pranayama practice and I enjoyed being on the periphery.
I am very lucky to have my dear friend Dana who every year so graciously allows me to stay in her carriage house. It is always refreshing to reconnect with her. I also spent time with my friend Nan who lives in Durango and attends the retreat. With both friends, we seamlessly are able to pick up our conversations wherever we left off without hesitation.
The Dharma suggests the Buddhist concept of Shunyata or often translated as emptiness. It refers to all things as empty of intrinsic existence and nature. The spaciousness that I began to feel was only a warm-up for what was to come.
After Durango, I spent six days at Tara Mandala. This scenic Tibetan Buddhist retreat Center is located just outside Pagosa Springs where the sky appears even bigger and the stars at night are magnificent. In Buddhism the sacred mandala is one of the richest visual objects. The physical shape of a mandala is like a circle, a series of points bounded by one line. A ‘circle’ might open or expand to create more space inside or be supported from the space that surrounds it. But if the circle is tightly closed there is no opportunity for anything to penetrate the shell. The Mandala of the Enlightened Feminine is expansive in nature and a core teaching at the retreat center.
My friend and teacher Sue invited me to go with her as a representative for our small San Diego Sangha. Two years ago, I received a “Green Tara” teaching via webcast from Lama Tsultrim Allione, the founder and spiritual director at Tara Mandala and have been practicing ever since but I am a beginner. The enormity and complexity of the teachings and meditation practices is beyond narrative. There are rituals, visualizations, mantra, mudra and way more substance that aid in cutting through the ego and helping to resolve inner conflict but I don’t have enough experience to properly explain the path. What I can wholeheartedly say is that it is fascinating.
Once again, I found myself in the company of teachers. The retreat was chock-full of scholarly sorts from all over the world. Feeling a bit intimidated at times, I attentively listened to a variety of Dharma talks delivered by the teachers who were presenting to the group. The discussions were both stimulating and thought provoking. Lama Tsultrim offered warm advice and wisdom. She weaved her personal experiences into her knowledge of historical facts. The days were full with meditation and teachings leaving not much time for anything else besides eating and sleeping.Monthly Reflections September/October 2018
Distraction is widespread and it’s so easy to lose our attention and become entangled in mundane, habitual, disturbing or stimulating happenings rather than be in the presence of what is actually happening. I know because I am human. Even now, I sit at my computer, which is old and slow, I feel a bit impatient and my mind spirals in different directions. Being present with others and ourselves offers us the opportunity to tap into what is most important. Freedom in our lives and feeling safe are both basic and vital requirements for finding love and happiness. I am outraged and disgusted by the division and hate that has infiltrated our country. It’s sad and disheartening to observe how senseless violence seems common these days and basic human decency is rare. Nevertheless, I am confident that change is constant, bullies never win in the long run and love is stronger than hate.
Yesterday was my 25th wedding anniversary and the day itself was uneventful. Yet, last week I spent 10 sumptuous days with my husband in Mexico to celebrate together. It really is a luxury to get away, be in nature, in quietude, with limited access to Wi-Fi and FLOAT.
One of my favorite moments on most days was to swim in the ocean. I made a daily effort to pause, taste the salt on my lips and feel the sensation of the water around me. I would lie on my back and float, gazing up at the vastness of the open sky. As I felt the echo of my own breath oscillate, I felt supported by the mysterious water below me. As I peered upward at the spacious sky, I felt a kind of lightness that one only feels when we let go of anxiety and distraction. I was in union between earth and sky, floating and completely absorbed.
“We are uncomfortable with empty space…As you become comfortable with this non-referential state, you begin to move away from habitual clinging. We are typically so caught up in our difficulties and thoughts that we don’t experience this state, so resting in it is like letting ourselves float in the ocean and being rocked by it instead of drowning and struggling against it.”
Lama Tsultrium Allione
August Reflections 2018
Inspiration is nice and essential, I think. It’s the grasping for, or even worse, waiting around for something to inspire us that seems futile and ineffective. Change is for sure, but motivation doesn’t just happen. It can’t be inherited, applied like sunscreen, purchased from a store or borrowed from a friend. It’s work!
Today I pulled some weeds in my garden. I dug a few holes and cleared away the lifeless tomato vines that once produced some beautiful fruit this summer. I am reminded of the hard work it takes to maintain a garden and the rich gifts it offers when it is consistently cared for.
I have spent almost two decades seeking various methods, modalities and regimes for enrichment in my life. I feel inspired for a while, move on and then look for another level of inspiration yet all the while; it’s always with me. This precious life offers so much inspiration if we are willing to do the work and show up particularly when it ain’t easy.
The thing we call inspiration is not outside of ourselves. To me, it’s an internal informant secretly communicating precisely what needs to happen and when. The problem is, sometimes I don’t listen. But when I do, things are more joyful. When I work through practice without over effort, and listen attentively I can activate (as can you) this inner voice of inspiration.
So when I feel inspired by external forces, that’s great! But, I recognize that these forces are not the solution they simply help me tap into myself on a deeper level. Looking beyond myself for something that lies inside is worthless. Pulling up the weeds of emotional darkness or digging down into the holes of emptiness or composting the psychological scraps is what cultivates a rich garden. The work I do on my cushion, on my mat and in my relationships, is what inspires me. I am inspired every day by my students, teachers, and all the children in the world. With your support, we can all bear fruit from the seeds we sow together.
“Do you love this world?
Do you cherish your humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath?
Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden, and softly,
and exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with the white and pink flowers,
with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling
their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are
nothing, forever?”
Mary Oliver
July Reflections 2018
What is the difference between exercising and practicing yoga?
The word yoga means to yoke. It’s a complete conversion with self and the magnificent forces of nature. It’s the action or karma of embodying symbolic archetypes, visualizing, breathing, and becoming more intimate with ourselves and others. It’s difficult to know this however because our marketing culture streamlines and reduces its significance to a mere workout. Seems like, if a person has been practicing yoga for an extended period of time but is a jerk, then they might want to try something else. All kidding aside, the lessons we learn from practice teach us to be kind.
Asanas are the postures we practice and perform as physical exercise to promote health and reduce disease. Ancient texts refer to asana as
“a seat to be held in position that is firm, but relaxed.” After placing my body into positions that cultivate awareness, relaxation and concentration for over twenty years, I did and “do” a lot of asana. However, I feel incomplete without my meditation practice.
We live in a society of “doing” stuff and accomplishing things. Most of our modern western culture meanders along in our busy lives on a particular trajectory whether we strategize or not. Some of us finish high school and go off to college if we are lucky enough to afford it and be interested in it. Some have a family, a career, a partner, responsibilities, setbacks, failures, commitments and great joys. You get the idea.
All this “doing” we accumulate can surely reward us with accomplishments that certainly would not happen without the effort that we put into “doing” but until we stop to embody the posture, deity, sensation or the present moment and until we rest back instead of push forward, we are still just on the treadmill of “doing” and on the road to nowhere.
I am both inspired and committed to the practices of Vajrayana Buddhism as taught by Lama Tsultrim Allione. Very simplified, Vajrayana is the path of transformation. Working with the Mandala principal of transforming encumbered patterns into wisdom has expanded my perspective and offered me more clarity and ease in my everyday life. Sharing them is even better!!!!
As I continue to weave the energies of movement, sound, mantra with meditation and visualization, it feels all-inclusive and complete to me. Asana by itself is only a few pieces in a big box of chocolate.
So next time you tell someone that you “do yoga” think about its meaning and your intention.
June Reflections 2018
I had visions of grandeur this month when I imagined myself writing my monthly missive but presently I have, “writers block”. My elaborate narrative in my mind of course, lies deep in my imagination and has fallen flat.
Oh no…Time is running out because June is coming to an end, I have self inflicted responsibilities that need my attention, my three adult kids have moved home for the summer and require assistance, Trump’s ongoing offensive comments and actions trigger my sensibilities affecting my central nervous system, a friend’s husband is sick and I’m absorbing her sadness, I’m heading out of town on Sunday morning with lots of loose ends to tie up and my mind is spinning out of control with confusing thoughts…Does this busyness sound familiar?
We all get caught up in our own storyline. The never ending “to do list” can take us to the places we don’t want to go! But alas… here we go. It’s the journey of sadness, sorrow, pain, suffering, elation and joy. The answer for me is PAUSE…
I’m heading to Colorado where the sky is vast, open and so blue. Lyle (My husband) and I will be together on a road trip through Sedona, Mesa Verde and Durango. Then I’m off to Tara Mandala solo on retreat.https://taramandala.org
I look forward to relaxing, reflecting and even going to the places that scare me:) I wish you all a joyous summer and beyond.
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win, cause you'll play against you.
All Alone! Whether you like it or not,
Alone you will be something quite a lot.
And when you're alone. There' a very good chance
You'll meet some things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
That can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go, though the weather be foul,
On you will go, though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many a frightening creek,
Though your arms may get sore
And your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike.
And I know you'll hike far
And face up to your problems
Whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
As you already know.
You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure where you step.
Step with care and great tact
And remember that life's a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
By: Dr. Seuss
May Reflections 2018
Yesterday was Saka Dawa, a holy festival on the Tibetan calendar celebrating the birth, death and enlightenment of The Buddha. Any actions done during this time both auspicious and harmful are supposedly multiplied in power. Seems like a good time to cultivate more loving-kindness in our lives.
Shakyamuni Buddha was born Siddhartha Gautama, prince of the Shakyas around 2,500 years ago in (what is now) Nepal. He grew up in luxury with attendants to serve and entertain him.
During his life, the prince, wanderer and ascetic faced the four common sufferings to all people: birth, aging, sickness and death. As he began his search for a solution to human suffering, he renounced his luxurious life style and embarked on a spiritual quest to understand how one could overcome suffering.
For years, he subjected himself to austere practices and ascetic disciplines; fasting and living as a hermit yet found it impossible to reach liberation through self-mortification.
In BodhGaya India where I was fortunate enough to visit a few years ago, he sat under a pipal tree, entered a deep state of meditation and awakened to the true nature of life. It was under this tree that he attained enlightenment through quietude, practice and meditation and then became the Buddha or “Awakened One”.
While remaining under the tree pleased by his liberation but troubled by the perils he now faced in longing to share his wisdom with others, he traveled, promoting peace and compassion teaching people to access their own innate potential to be awake.
In our modern day, extreme circumstances such as luxury and deprivation might offer some insight but through the teachings (Dharma) and my own personal practice it feels like integration and equability in all things is more sustainable. It’s not easy to always be “awake” or fully present or even ” in the moment” despite our best efforts but we can take refugee in both our own and others ambitious attempts to try. I think it’s important to recognize and acknowledge that everyone is doing his or her best.
If collectively we try to do our best in everything, including thought, speech and action we would probably all be a bit more awake to the presence and dignity that surrounds us.
April Monthly Reflections 2018
Perfecting posture for meditation comes not so much by doing but by not doing. Surely we have to put some effort into training the body to sit straight and be aligned. However, after that is accomplished, the next step is to learn to do less, allowing the posture to settle in for meditation and open into a sort of effortless effort. It is an active form of doing nothing, of consciously ceasing to place any effort into the posture. This conscious effort to release any mode of effort can be felt experientially and viscerally. You can know for yourself that this really is an effective, useful, and key principle in developing a sitting posture for meditation, calming the nervous system and an overall metaphor for life.
I am reminded of sutra 2:47 that Patanjali so eloquently compiled for us.
prayatna shaithilya ananta samapattibhyam
This sutra suggests that asanas are attained by a relaxation of effort and by absorption of the unlimited or infinite. I think it also communicates a way of loosening tension, grip or effort in all things. In trying to “do” or accomplish a posture (or anything for that matter) through aggression, we generate a narrow viewpoint and lose sight of the wider perspective. But allowing our attention to merge with the uncontrolled nature of reality provides us access to pure consciousness. It feels limitless and less contracted. I know for myself that when I think I can control a situation, it typically does not go as I anticipated.
I think we all try to control things on a certain level but to what degree can we actually control anything? I was sick with the flu this month for almost 10 days. Like so many it seems, I too fell prey to the “ I’ll recover much faster than most because I’m healthy” attitude. But alas, the flu needed to run it’s course regardless of my wanting to control or change the situation. My will and determination was not going to change anything. So there I was mostly sitting, sleeping, reflecting, and feeling sorry for myself doing absolutely nothing. And in those precious moments I realized that surrender was the only option. Doing nothing was exactly what I was supposed to be doing.
Wishing you optimal health in mind and heart.
March Reflections 2018
The calendar tells us that spring this year started on Tuesday, March 20th. The spring season typically promotes hope, happiness, flowers, optimism and warmth (in temperature and attitude). The season also brings observations of rejuvenation as celebrated in many cultures. So as the sun crosses the equator, it’s important to recognize that we are making a transition rather than marking a specific period in time.
While marking time can be valuable, it also can create anxiety. Most of us feel pressure with a deadline yet inspired by a goal. If we didn’t have these intervals called time, we may not ever hold each other accountable for anything. Conceivably, we might never get to work, school or happy hour “on time.”
While spring has sprung in some parts of the world, the Northeast is stricken with another snowstorm in three weeks affectionately known as the four’easter. I grew up in the northeast and it never felt like spring in March to me. I believe it is essential to consider the subtleties that arise as time passes, light morphs, wrinkles materialize, relationships change, flowers bloom, weeds surface and moods shift. Taking the time we need to observe our own inner climate offers us wisdom. Without inner heeding, our reactions are usually impulsive and unskillful. Ask yourself what is the weather like inside my ever-changing heart-mind?
This time of year also holds certain anticipation. Spring-cleaning perhaps, eradicating what no longer serves us, learning something new, eating fresh seasonal fruits and vegetables, shedding the winter sludge both mentally and physically and basketballJ
March Madness is here! I love basketball for the athleticism but I don’t follow the stats or anything like that. It’s just kinda fun to watch and notice the excitement around it.
I hope Spring 2018 is the beginning of positive change. Winter, in some respects, was a bit bleak…with bombings, more school shootings and the ongoing chaos in the White House (to mention a few). I’m so incredibly proud of all the teenagers who, without hesitation, spoke out and will March for our Lives on Saturday March 24. I am with you in spirit.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
― Margaret Mead
February Reflections 2018
Let go of your worries
Rumi
Let go of your worries
and be completely clear-hearted,
like the face of a mirror
that contains no images.
If you want a clear mirror,
behold yourself
and see the shameless truth,
which the mirror reflects.
If metal can be polished
to a mirror-like finish,
what polishing might the mirror
of the heart require?
Between the mirror and the heart
is this single difference:
the heart conceals secrets,
while the mirror does not.
It seems to me that Rumi is suggesting that we let our hearts reflect who we are and not whom we think we should be or what other people think of us. May we aspire to be “clear-hearted” by asking our heart what sort of “polishing” it needs?
Perhaps, in a compassionate way we can offer it LOVE.
It is through persistent practice, determination and patience that our resolve shifts from the foggy, ambiguous and blurred mirror of our fabricated self to the clarity of bodhicitta or awakened heart-mind.
January Reflections 2018
A few days ago was Martin Luther King Jr.’s Birthday. A man whose life brought hope and healing to America, The timeless values he taught us through his example couldn’t be more poignant and current today than they were back then. The values of courage, truth, justice, compassion, dignity and humility so radiantly define his character. On this Day, we commemorate the universal, unconditional love, forgiveness and non-violence (Ahimsa) that empowered his most revolutionary spirit.
“Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.”
~Martin Luther King Jr.
As we move gingerly into another calendar year, I hope that we can all find the strength and courage to keep our hearts and minds unguarded while we take action for what is right. The time to wake up is now and the simplest gestures toward each other and the planet can make a long-lasting impact. Solidarity offers us the support we need for ultimate liberation or Moksha in Sanskirt. Thank you all for your friendship, love and ongoing support. I feel honored to be your sister of the cosmos.
~Women’s March is this Saturday January 20!
December Reflections 2017
Tomorrow is the winter solstice acknowledging the shortest day and the longest night of the year. The solstice marks the beginning of winter and a rebirth of the sun. Interestingly enough it is one of the oldest known winter celebrations both spiritually and scientifically.
The term solstice is derived from the Latin world "solstitium," which means, "Sun standing still." During this time, the sun ostensibly stands still directly over the Tropic of Capricorn, which is 23.5 degrees south of the equator (which I just learned)
The thought of stillness seems foreign to some as we rush around this time of year purchasing gifts online and off, hustling to events that feel like obligation rather than enthusiasm and consuming way too much of everything. Most of us spend the year in a constant state of busyness so we never really stop to pause and see what is bubbling within. But with the December Solstice energy, we are all given the opportunity to take a peek at what is happening on a heart and soul level by standing still with the sun.
The biblical story of Christmas is also upon us where Mary gives birth to a son named Jesus in a manger and I am reminded of the sweetness and importance of birth, simplicity, the offerings and the miracle of life itself. Stories like this can help us to cultivate a deeper connection to truth, dignity and love.
This has been a most challenging year and I suspect that regardless of your religious beliefs, most would agree that the behaviors of some powerful men in both government and the private sector have acted contrary to the biblical story and its essence of dignity.
May we use this time to slow down, be still and connect to our true essential nature. This is not the story we carry/hold or tell ourselves but the kernel, seed or spore of our spirit. My intention this holiday season is to experience each moment in its form without hurry. I wish you a very joyful solstice and beyond…
Sleeping in the Forest
By Mary Oliver
I thought the earth
remembered me, she
took me back so tenderly, arranging
her dark skirts, her pockets
full of lichens and seeds. I slept
as never before, a stone
on the riverbed, nothing
between me and the white fire of the stars
but my thoughts, and they floated
light as moths among the branches of the perfect trees. All night
I heard the small kingdoms breathing
around me, the insects, and the birds
who do their work in the darkness. All night
I rose and fell, as if in water, grappling
with a luminous doom. By morning
I had vanished at least a dozen times
into something better.
November Reflections 2017
Gratitude is a reminder of the radiant peace that rests at the core of our being. Even in churning confusion, even amidst fear of not having or being enough, even at the bottom of a seemingly boundless pit is that peaceful light. When we strengthen our awareness at that fundamental level, I think we become free to make choices that reflect our true and authentic nature.
As Cliché as it sounds, we all have so much to be grateful for. Life itself is a gift. Slowing down in the midst of the rush is challenging and takes some concentrated effort. But, when we begin to grasp at things beyond our control (which I do) it never seems constructive. Trying to make things different or attempting to manipulate without awareness feels like a calamity. It’s when we pay attention to the moment that is directly in front of us without rush or distraction that is when we can connect more deeply to others and ourselves. That being said, I offer you this poem by Mary Oliver.
Oxygen
Everything needs it: bone, muscles, and even,
while it calls the earth its home, the soul.
So the merciful, noisy machine
stands in our house working away in its
lung-like voice. I hear it as I kneel
before the fire, stirring with a
stick of iron, letting the logs
lie more loosely. You, in the upstairs room,
are in your usual position, leaning on your
right shoulder which aches
all day. You are breathing
patiently; it is a
beautiful sound. It is
your life, which is so close
to my own that I would not know
where to drop the knife of
separation. And what does this have to do
with love, except
everything? Now the fire rises
and offers a dozen, singing, deep-red
roses of flame. Then it settles
to quietude, or maybe gratitude, as it feeds
as we all do, as we must, upon the invisible gift:
our purest, sweet necessity: the air.”
This month offered me time away with my kids, a weekend with old friends in celebration of life, and nourishing time spent in nature. For the first time in a while, I feel re-energized and equipped with vitality to greet the holiday season. I hope to keep it simple this year. And I hope the same for you. My intention is to NOT get caught up in the hustle and excess of the season but to enjoy it for the essence of the spirit. Feel free to remind me and hold me accountable in December.
Wishing you all a very fruitful and joyous Thanksgiving!
September/October Monthly Reflections 2017
The word “Vulnerability” gets tossed around like a football these days. In 1996 Pema Chodron, a beloved contemporary American spiritual leader, activist, and author amongst Buddhist and non-Buddhists alike wrote When things Fall Apart which ignited the necessity to expose ones vulnerability as a method to break through suffering. The book was and continues to be a modern-day offering for working with painful emotions and it helps to communicate and encourage people to open up rather than shut down.
In 2010, Brene Brown’s TED Talk “The Power of Vulnerability” went viral and suddenly it became fashionable to display our vulnerability. And while I understand the simplicity of that statement, the sentiment feels true. Through Brown’s research, she shows that vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging and love (among other things) so we should embrace it! I agree wholeheartedly but I also feel the importance of discernment and selectivity to safeguard us from harmful circumstances. We are all more sensitive and highly affected then we might acknowledge.
What if we could create and cultivate a nourishing veil (so to speak) around ourselves so that we can stay grounded, self regulated and true to what is real? What if our practice offered us access to a safe and comforting internal environment where we could slowly, at our own pace, explore compassion and grace without feeling overwhelmed by our quivering vulnerability.
In recent weeks, we have been barraged by senseless violence, ongoing government chaos, natural disasters and sexual harassment scandals assaulting us from every angle. Even if our lives are not directly disturbed by these events, we are subtly storing this distress inside. It is painful and seemingly unprecedented.
Yoga and meditation offer us comfort, stability and a loving embrace. It is through sustained practice that we begin to see things more clearly, support ourselves and others with more compassion and take wise action when needed. While it takes time and patience, our true nature is revealed which includes being vulnerable yet RESILIENT.
July/ August Reflections 2017
Every summer for the past several years I have intentionally chosen an experience providing challenge and exhilaration. Most of these previous events have included voyages to climb a mountain, traverse across a desert in extreme heat or begin an ascent up a steep rock between two steel cables used as handholds during a lightening storm. This year was a little different…
In an attempt to establish a deeper connection with my 23-year-old son and selfishly wanting to view the eclipse in its totality, I traveled almost 1000 miles in my car to spend a week at The Oregon Eclipse Festival.
While the journey was lengthy, the time spent traveling was memorable with three days in the Trinity Alps where the pristine water from the spring is drinkable and the oxygen feels abundant. We then spent a few nights in Ashland where we took in a delightful play and strolled in Litha Park. What could be more perfect than the last leg of the journey ending in Totality- that point of a solar eclipse when the sun is entirely covered by the moon?
After many hours of waiting in line to enter the festival, my son and I arrived at the Festival 35 miles outside of Prineville Oregon. If you look on a map, it’s called Big Summit Prairie, a privately owned ranch of over 55,000 acres inside the Ochoco National Forest. Yes, it’s out there!
While the sun baked the festival well into the 80’s everyday and an overall pumping sound of deep base permeated the acreage regardless of where you stood, 30 thousand people came together for this event. Most in they’re mid to late twenties but some parents with little kids and a portion of remaining Deadheads all looking for something.
Freedom and love seemed to be the theme of the festival. I often heard a variety of teachers facilitating a class or workshop saying the same thing: “we are all here to release the stagnation in our bodies.” Yet, I witnessed a lot of people hanging out doing nothing except drugs. I can’t pretend to be a saint or behave as if I have never been reckless in my life because I have. But, fantasizing about liberation and deepening consciousness by dropping acid in a dusty parking lot, exposing genitals, dressing funkier than the next guy and listening to really loud music while producing trash in a once unspoiled setting doesn’t feel like the way to cultivate connection or sustainable relationships for me. I can hear myself sounding older.
I would be remiss not to mention the incredible Earth Art that was created for this event. Structures and recycled sculptures including bridges and tree houses surrounded the lake. Happenings of music, dance, yoga, wellness workshops, permaculture, Ayurveda, nutrition and much more were continuous all day and night. The sun exposure, dust and wind were elements to combat each day. The stimulus was extreme and intense.
So yes, this summer I challenged myself. I was able to use the tools that I have refined over my 20 years of practice to stay centered and above all with my own experience rather than be judgmental and critical. There are many ways to find liberation and even “to free stagnation” but I don’t think Festivals are for me. I enjoy stillness and quiet that allows me space to feel what is occurring whether it is joy or sorrow.
On the day of the eclipse, I felt a sense of benevolence and a swarm of lights shining against the oncoming darkness. The atmosphere became cold and dark. I felt a loving closeness with my son yet an inevitable divide too. As the the moon slowly passed in front of the sun we were one for a short time, but now I realize he needs to keep moving without my penetrating light behind him.
"When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
Age of Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius
Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius
Aquarius"
June Reflections 2017
As I kid, I have some fond memories of summertime growing up on the east coast. It was hot and humid from sunrise to sunset. Catching fireflies in a glass jar at night while gazing up at the evening sky with a free and easy spirit was pervasive. Time has changed and life feels a lot different after living in California for 30 years.
June offers a sort of excitement and transformation as we move from the busy-ness of a school year or work cycle to a more relaxed schedule. The days are longer, the scholastic grip to “get ahead” seems to wane and the gardens are abundant with sumptuous fruit and vegetables for our nourishment. I feel fortunate and recognize that so many do not have the privilege of time or abundance.
I had the great pleasure to be in the presence of the Dalai Lama at UCSD few weeks ago. While I was restless to arrive exceptionally early for optimal seating, the rest of my friends and my 23 year old son were less enthusiastic about the early influx, yet they humored me by capitulating as we arrived a few hours before the presentation.
His Holiness spoke on the topic of “Embracing the Beauty of Diversity in our World.” As I have had time to reflect, I acknowledge that the human race is astonishingly diverse. Gender, ethnic backgrounds, race, class, religion, nationality, sexuality, philosophy and lifestyle are just some. And, the areas in which we differ are never-ending. Yet, at a basic level, we are all of the same species. We experience highs and lows in life and do our best to find happiness and fulfillment. Our common joys, pains and despairs bring us together, but diversity is what makes us unique.
Honestly, the title of His Holiness’s public talk could have been anything because his message to spread peace, compassion and kindness is always the prevailing theme. One in which I could hear over and over again because we all need to hear this message. May we all have the patience to look beyond ourselves and share this message of love, kindness and compassion regardless of our unique differences. And may the privilege of time and abundance be shared with those who have less than us.
May Reflections 2017
This month delivered a particular preciousness to the atmosphere. More rain has fallen this year than I can ever remember and the air is fresh, flowers are blooming and the weeds are ubiquitous. While we are always faced with obstacles, both substantial and trifling, I can’t help but feel the potential that exists everywhere. When we settle into the potentiality of our true nature, the awakened heart-mind arises and provides us with wisdom.
As most of us speed through our frenetic lifestyle searching, grasping, coveting, embellishing and perhaps just getting by, we forget that what we need most is at the center of our inner landscape. Sometimes it’s frustrating for me to think of all the time I wasted looking outside myself and (continue to do so), when it’s actually right here inside me (and you too).
I just returned from a week at Tara Mandala, a Buddhist Retreat Center in Pagosa Springs Colorado. 15 students and myself leaped into a rich practice of transformation by working with the Mandala as a symbol of the psyche. Through visualization, mantra, mudra and sensory awareness, we investigated that inner landscape. At times I felt overwhelmed by the weeds of my own overgrowth but trust prevailed and ultimately, it all felt joyful and liberating. While we worked with art, sound and the elements in nature as a way of connecting more deeply to ourselves, sweet relationships developed and compassion irrigated those connections.
My/our practice thus continues, and actually never ends, it only changes. With a deep appreciation for all my incredible students and those willing to be curious, change, grow and learn with me, I bow. Without you, I would have no canvas to paint on and explore any landscape at all. Your inquiries and openness keeps me studying practicing and laughing.
So off the mat, off the cushion and into our lives we wholeheartedly participate in all the possibilities of maintaining the connection to our true essential nature, Purusha (Sanskrit) or Primordial Wisdom as we recognize that it is palpable. In fact, one mind training technique called a slogan says this…
“In post meditation, be a child of illusion.”
This suggests that we often stumble along within an environment that we recognize to be dubious and illusory. So rather than trying to make our world solid and predictable, and complaining when that is not the case, we could maintain the glimpses of the illusory nature of experience that arise in meditation practice, and touch into that open illusory quality in the midst of our daily activities. A less tight and more open quality is the ground on which the compassionate actions of the bodhisattva (awakened heart-mind) can and will arise.
April Monthly Reflections 2017
Politically our country continues to be divided and an underlining chorus of fear, distrust and animosity prevails in the mainstream media and beyond. It’s despairing and feels a bit overwhelming sometimes, yet I am still hopeful. Love is greater than fear and ignorance. People are kindhearted and insights are everywhere. Before reacting with aggression, perhaps we can try to stop, sense, and act with discernment for the benefit of all (Viveka Khyati).
A positive outcome from the recent rainstorms brought an abundance of jubilant wild flowers and clean air to our neighboring areas this month. Spring has sprung and the drought in California is officially over! Pure water, clean air and quality of life are elements that I never want to take for granted. They nurture our vital force and support our daily existence. When I consider the gift of being able to share resources and basic humanity with all of human kind, I am reminded of one of my favorite Yoga Sutras:
maitri karuna mudita upekshanam sukha duhka punya apunya vishayanam bhavanatah chitta prasadanam
In relationships, the mind becomes purified by cultivating feelings of friendliness towards those who are happy, compassion for those who are suffering, goodwill towards those who are virtuous, and indifference or neutrality towards those we perceive as wicked or evil.
Regardless of our background/history/ views, we all have more room for compassion and understanding. Remember, one never knows how much someone else is suffering.
I dedicate this piece to Catharine Chichakian who affected so many lives and brought so many lives into the world and into our community. May she rest in everlasting peace.
March Reflections 2017
March is the month of re-birth and growth. As the light changes and flowers bloom, it feels celebratory. As we shift from winter into spring a time where the sun crosses the celestial equator, when day and night are approximately of equal length my own vitality changes too. I’m grateful because I was feeling a bit sluggish.
Interestingly enough, March is the time of Navratri, a celebration of the divine feminine for 9 days in India. Typically three deities (Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati are represented as symbols of three dimensions of the feminine. Simultaneously, they also represent the three basic qualities of existence or “Gunas.” These Gunas are Tamas (darkness, destructive, chaotic), Rajas (passion, action, confusion) and Sattva (goodness, constructive, harmonious). All three of these Gunas are present in everyone and everything. One might consider Gunas analogous to that of our personality or innate nature.
When we are able to connect with nature and acknowledge that we are nature, this is union or Yoga. Earth is Tamas, Sun is Rajas and Moon is Sattva. Balancing the ever-changing virtues of our existence is ongoing and can be challenging. Yet, I think that it is through self-compassion and kindness towards others that real steadiness ensues; steadiness or balance that is shouting for our deepest consideration. Consideration of these matters offers spaciousness for all the qualities of our existence without judgment or criticism.
Dr. Dianne Sterling and I embarked upon another Mindfulness Yoga for Trauma course last night. As 13 exquisitely courageous people arrived, I was reminded again that together we must draw upon these qualities of existence for our own nourishment because we need all three of them. To nourish doesn’t mean attaining power or control it’s actually more about discovering liberation.
February Reflections 2017
Life is a limitless transition. I’m intrigued by how many transitions we make in a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime. It’s always occurring yet we often don’t even notice or pay attention. Some of the most poignant moments in my life occur amid the space between movement and stillness. It feels like a sort of intermission and an opportunity to reflect my own scattered thoughts that often block a state of clear, unattached awareness. An awareness that I know already exists yet oftentimes not paid attention to. Maybe it’s because I am distracted and my senses feel violated? What about you?
The presidential election results were and continue to be a colossal transition for most of us. It’s painful to have our senses bombarded with fear and anger on a daily basis. It’s hard for me not to have empathy for those that live in distress and trepidation about their future. Some days I feel horrified by the latest political antics but then joyful watching our nation come together in solidarity. I relish in the humor that SNL and Full Frontal provide but it’s embarrassingly so close to the truth that I pause and feel disheartened.
My husband and I lost our friend Rob last month. He died whilst surfing from a heart attack. While I can’t imagine a more appropriate setting for him to pass, it felt way too soon. He was an iconic waterman. Kind and intelligent, he leaves behind his wife and two children. We will miss him. Death is the ultimate transition and we don’t know when, where or how it will present it’s self. When someone we care about passes away, it makes us more aware of our own mortality. Transitioning from this life to the unknown is mysterious.
Transitions are pervasive and there is no way around them. So whether we are resting or uneasy in the presence of now, consider some investigation. Through Svadhyaya or self-study in Sanskrit, we consciously observe our internal atmosphere rather than ignore it. Watch the changes of our personal barometer and the movements of our sensations. Be sensitive and use discernment. What is the weather like in there? It could be very interesting to notice without judgment or criticism and perhaps offer some new meaningful insights.
The Journey
By Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice – - -
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations – - -
though their melancholy
was terrible.It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do – - – determined to save
the only life you could save.
January 2017 Reflections
Last Saturday at the Women’s March in San Diego and around the globe was an inspiration for all. It wasn’t just women. It was a diverse crowd walking peacefully in solidarity. It was energetic and calm at the same time. I experienced people being thoughtful and making an effort to be kindhearted amongst the hoards of individuals. People were intelligent, kind, compassionate, friendly and not angry or aggressive in any way.
Margaret Wheatley (writer, teacher, activist) wrote, “There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about.”
People indicated that they cared about a plethora of issues carrying signs and supporting human rights. Some signs were painfully serious; some were humorous and some truthfully horrifying. But, everyone shared the common thread of support for humanity. It was a beautiful display of democracy. Yesterday, I heard Governor Jerry Brown deliver his State of the State address. It too was equally poignant as he quoted from Woody Guthrie’s song:
This Land is Your Land.
Nobody living can ever stop me,
As I go walking that freedom highway;
Nobody living can ever make me turn back
This land was made for you and me.
Governor Brown said, “ California is not turning back. Not now, not ever.”
Change is certain but boundless opportunities are omnipresent. I may not be able to do something BIG but what if we all can do something small. Don’t be afraid to speak up, protect the environment and human rights. Be kind! Most importantly, lets not normalize horrendous behavior. Remember, some things are NOT ok.
The New Year began for me with an intimate gathering of friends and family. I ripened one year older as I seem to do every year in January. Then a few days in the Eastern Sierras offered the Winter Wonderland that I often miss living in Southern California. A deep appreciation for the mountains and the beauty of Mother Nature still penetrates my bones. I also spent a week in Big Sur where I learned a few things that I had not expected to learn. From the Mountains to the Oceans, the vastness of our own awakening is nearby. May we all be activists and environmentalists respecting and standing up for the world we so appreciate and care about. The recent rain is a symbol of growth and change. As we slowly make our way out of this long dry drought, I am optimistic that the voices of democracy will be heard and that true peace will prevail for all beings everywhere.
December Reflections 2016
Tis the season again…I began stuffing holiday cards into envelops as I have done for the past 19 years when all of a sudden it felt pretty superficial. Call me Grinch but sending off cards with “LOVE, PEACE and JOY” plastered all over the front page didn’t represent how I’m currently feeling. Of course, I am grateful for my life, family and friends but disappointed with the direction that our country may be headed. Too early to tell but indicators are significant and choices are being made. There is sadness in the atmosphere that can’t be denied. Below are a few points that come up for me as we move forward into a New Year and leave this one behind.
It is my sincere hope that peace prevails and that globally we stand together free from greed, hatred and cruelty.
All life is one
Never undervalue what other people are going through
Kindness is the greatest religion irrespective of your beliefs
You can love someone from a distance
Floss…it works!
Not everyone will “like” you
It’s impossible to feel good all the time so find ease in discomfort
It’s healthy to agree to disagree
Refined Sugar is unsympathetic
Humor is healing
Yoga is the art of self-healing, be gentle in your practice
War is senseless
Finding your passion is overrated
Drink moderately
Eat the most wholesome food you can afford
Be as close to nature as often as possible
Don’t litter…Ever!
Listen to your intuition…it’s usually right
Take time for silence, every day
Contemplate others more than yourself
Walk, Run, Dance, and Move it feels good
Embrace the Earth…it’s our mother
This body is a rental so don’t get too attached
November Reflections 2016
"Integrity is when I do what I know to be right, even if no one else will ever find out."
Less then one week after the election, dazed and perplexed from the results, I joyfully attended a Dharma Talk given by Sharon Salzberg, one of America’s most beloved meditation teachers. She emphasized the importance of ascertaining “the fundamentals” which resonates with me. In times of turbulence and greater uncertainty, it’s essential to back up, slow down and practice the fundamentals that our practice is built upon. In our culture, we have a funny distaste for studying the basics. Truthfully, most of us associate that with a sign of weakness. It might sound rudimentary or too easy to competitive types (myself included). But the reality is, the fundamentals are the essential pieces of any practice regardless of how long you have been at it. When life throws us uncertainty (which is ever changing and constant) we can be prepared to handle it because we have embraced the fundamental skills. Observation of our breath, Body Scan or standing in Tadasana and other standing poses that promote earth element are what nurture us. Never underestimate the power of a “simple practice.” Practicing Metta or loving-kindness is an anecdote to fear Sharon suggested. Next time you feel angry or fearful offer kindness and observe your breath then see what happens. You might be surprised that it too passes.
A few weeks ago, I offered a workshop to a group of delightful students at Yoga Del Mar. The theme was Gratitude and its message appeared to be extremely necessary during these times of uncertainty. I taught gentle backbends which open the chest cavity and create space around the diaphragm. On a physical level, opening the region in and around the diaphragm rebalances the autonomic nervous system, aids in digestion and reduces tension in the neck and shoulders. But more subtly, backbends offer us an undeniable energetic pulse. Tapping into the frequency of back bending is a gift. If we focus less on performance and maintain a vigilance of consciousness there is more sovereignty in any pose. Do we practice for exercise, ego or other?
Exercise is great…don’t misunderstand me. I have been active all my life and hope to continue if my body cooperates. However, if we consider ourselves like an ever-changing moving puzzle, there are many pieces. Exercise is only a piece of the puzzle though. It functions as a vital component in our overall maintenance and lifestyle. While asana, the third limb of eight (or a piece of the puzzle so to speak) is physical, we can consider approaching it with a more expansive view. Asana or poses help blood flow and promote circulation, digestion and lymph health. They can move energy and change your mood. They build strength and flexibility but I think more and encourage you to investigate the endless possibilities.
Ego is great too! We wouldn’t motivate without it. But, when we use ego to feed our lives, and our concerns are filled with how the shape of our bodies appears, we move away from yoga. Showing off externally through poses or other means just builds ego and takes us away from the presence of who we are. This behavior actually takes us away from ourselves and out of yoga.
The workshop closed with much needed Restorative poses. Rest and Reflect is the medicine we all need right now. As we approach Thanksgiving remember that Gratitude is “a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of benefit that one has received or will receive.” Be kind and create space to process and reflect.
"Gratitude is a reminder of the radiant peace that is at our core. Even in swirling confusion, even amidst tremendous fear of not having or being enough, even at the bottom of this seemingly endless pit is that peaceful light. When we strengthen our awareness of that center of being, we become free to make choices that reflect that nature."
Jean Baptiste Massieu
October Reflections 2016
With only a week before one of the most controversial elections of all times, the importance of truth feels like an important subject. Satya is the Sanskrit word for truth. It often refers to virtue or being truthful in one's thought, speech and action. It is the virtuous restraint from falsehood and distortion of reality in one's expressions and actions. It seems so simple and straightforward yet most of us have a difficult time grasping these concepts.
One academic study found that humans lie 10 times a week. We lie because we want to appear more confident or we think it makes someone else feel better. Children and young adults often lie in hopes of feeling more accepted and included. But the interesting statistic is that deception prevents us from cultivating intimacy. Intimacy offers us that tenderness that most of us crave in a relationship. It is the driving force for lasting connections. So what we desire most, we dodge.
Sadly, we start to believe our own lies. What would happen if we were all more authentic and real? What does that even look like? Incidentally, when researchers refer to lying, they don't include the mindless pleasantries or polite equivocations we offer each other in passing, such as "I'm fine, thanks" or "No trouble at all." An "official" lie actually misleads, deliberately conveying a false impression. So complimenting a friend's tragic new shirt or offering to pay the bill when you have no money, doesn't even count.
Radical self-honesty has its difficulties and sometimes pausing is a good answer. Our practice offers us so much truth and pause if we take the time to notice. Instead of over exertion, use support. Rather than physically approach your practice, watch what happens when you don’t get attached to the outcome. Commit to a practice of exploring your true (real) self in relationship to the world around you and not separate. It is not always about just ourselves. Be careful of mistaken awareness and spiritual bypassing.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not the truth. “
Marcus Aurellius
Remember; if you are over 18 you have the right to VOTE!
September Reflections 2016
"There is a harmony in autumn, and a lustre in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!" ― Percy Bysshe Shelley
Today is the Autumnal Equinox when light and darkness are approximately the same. But not for long as the earth never stops moving around the sun. Amongst the movement, “harmony” is a feeling that we all aspire to experience in our lives. Many cultures and religions celebrate holidays and festivals around the September Equinox. It is a time to respect the impending dark while giving thanks to the sunlight. It’s a good time to enact rituals for protection and security as well as reflect on successes or failures from the past months.
Please consider the challenges of those that are deeply suffering all over the world. Cultivate compassion as we strengthen the resolve of leaders to help end the fighting and choose a future of PEACE and harmony.
August Reflections 2016
Ouch…stung by a bee! I would have predicted that would happen while in the mountains a few weeks ago but instead it occurred on the patio outside my home last week. It’s been a long time since I was stung and I don’t remember having an allergic type of response. My arm swollen and fiery, I watched the symptoms slowly decrease. It’s another reminder that everything is impermanent and somewhat unpredictable.
Nestled in the deep forest of the Trinity Alps in Northern California where bears are contemporaneous with campers and yellow jackets are ever-present, I spent five restful days with my husband Lyle and our dear friends Jim and Stephanie. Our friends bought this special property 25 years ago (when I was 25) and have been cultivating the area ever since. They now own additional property where they raise cattle and chickens producing grass-fed meat, organic chickens and eggs. During our stay, we picked berries and baked a cobbler in their wood fired outdoor oven. They have a natural spring running through the property, which provides pure running water. It’s quite magical so my description can’t begin to describe the surrounding beauty. I returned unscathed with fond memories and a lingering freshness for the great outdoors.
Now at home nursing my puffed-up arm (better now), I miss the preciousness of being in nature. Nature provides a doorway into ourselves where time feels limitless and moments alone and together feel stress-free, carefree and tranquil. Sharing food and drinks, swimming in streams, hiking and undertaking puzzles has a certain simplicity that generates effortlessness. Nature provides a calm abiding or Shamayta in Sanskrit that gets misplaced in our everyday lives. Being surrounded by nature makes me feel alive and uninhibited.
Fall is a wonderful time of year. For me, it always feels like a new beginning. A shift in the surrounding light, the change of colors from the leaves on the trees, the shorter days, the kids going back to school and people just seem less guarded and even vulnerable. I am no exception…
I started teaching a new class on Monday nights (5:30pm) at Yoga Del Mar: Sorrento Valley. The studio is a nice clean open space with fresh new props and new faces. It feels like the beginning of a new school year. Come and check it out!
May we all” FALL” into something new with a fresh perspective and simultaneously be supported by our inner wisdom. In his poem
Rilke suggests with imagery, the power for spiritual potential or awakening. When he mentions “ leaves”, he isn't describing them in a purely physical or graphic sense; he treats them with an existential understanding. There is more to autumn than the turning of leaves on earth— "as if orchards were dying high in space” Rilke's contemplation on seasonal change is a reflection on what lies beyond us, or perhaps deep within us — the falling feeling of aloneness and the gravity of life itself. But if this is a poem about gravity and resistance, it's also one of buoyancy and release. "We're all falling," he writes — the leaves, the stars, the earth — swirling out of control yet surrounded by something, or "Someone," of infinite calm.
'Autumn' by Rainer Maria Rilke
The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up,
as if orchards were dying high in space.
Each leaf falls as if it were motioning "no."
And tonight the heavy earth is falling
away from all other stars in the loneliness.
We're all falling. This hand here is falling.
And look at the other one. It's in them all.
And yet there is Someone, whose hands
infinitely calm, holding up all this falling.
July Reflections 2016
I just returned from two precious weeks in Colorado. The vast open sky is what touches me most. There is a quality of wide openness amongst the surrounding nature that carries me back year after year. Living in Southern California, we rarely experience a rainstorm with thunder and lightning like those on a summer night in Colorado. The sky is cobalt blue and filled with white fluffy clouds that seem almost unreal at a glance yet they are so perfectly formed like illustrations from a children’s book.
I landed in Durango to spend the first six days at Blue Lake Ranch for Patricia Walden’s annual retreat. This is the fourth-consecutive year that I have attended. Almost all of the attendees are long time students of Iyengar Yoga and/or teachers of Iyengar Yoga. And, It is with great respect that I humbly bow to the teachings of B.K.S Iyengar. These teachings have brought intelligence to my own yoga practice; they have facilitated my efforts to help others, and they have provided a system for yoga asana to be accessible for ALL through the brilliant use of props.
Iyengar students and teachers alike are serious. They spend countless years studying and practicing mostly asana and the yoga sutras of Patanjali. The path which most take is that of “assessment. “
The eligibility for the preliminary assessment (introductory level 1 and 2) is demanding and includes prerequisites for all candidates. Candidates for assessment must be current members of the Iyengar Yoga National Association, which includes a fee. Candidates must have two certified teachers recommending them and a minimum of three years of continuous practice and study. Candidates must also have the required teacher education training approved through IYNAUS. All assessments include a written test as well as teaching a mock class with unknown students in the presence of at least three certified teachers. The requirements increase significantly, as the certification level becomes more advanced.
My path in practicing yoga has been broader based and I have opted to incorporate a number of different disciplines and modalities in my practice and teaching. Being an “outsider” at an Iyengar retreat resulted in some interesting observations. Patricia Walden is an inspiration at almost 70 years of age. She eloquently holds the space for practice and communicates her wisdom as taught by the Iyengar family. In a class of almost 50 very qualified participants, there is a natural desire to seek the “guru’s” attention. I felt myself fall prey to this desire and had to work through various emotions when I didn’t receive an expected degree of attention. In the end, I came to appreciate being outside (or on the periphery) of the circle. Letting go of my desire for the teacher’s attention allowed a greater space to observe the boundaries of the “circle”. As well, it allowed more freedom to contemplate the benefits and drawbacks of being in or out of the “circle”. As the week progressed, I felt quenched with asana and pranayama practice and I enjoyed being on the periphery.
I am very lucky to have my dear friend Dana who every year so graciously allows me to stay in her carriage house. It is always refreshing to reconnect with her. I also spent time with my friend Nan who lives in Durango and attends the retreat. With both friends, we seamlessly are able to pick up our conversations wherever we left off without hesitation.
The Dharma suggests the Buddhist concept of Shunyata or often translated as emptiness. It refers to all things as empty of intrinsic existence and nature. The spaciousness that I began to feel was only a warm-up for what was to come.
After Durango, I spent six days at Tara Mandala. This scenic Tibetan Buddhist retreat Center is located just outside Pagosa Springs where the sky appears even bigger and the stars at night are magnificent. In Buddhism the sacred mandala is one of the richest visual objects. The physical shape of a mandala is like a circle, a series of points bounded by one line. A ‘circle’ might open or expand to create more space inside or be supported from the space that surrounds it. But if the circle is tightly closed there is no opportunity for anything to penetrate the shell. The Mandala of the Enlightened Feminine is expansive in nature and a core teaching at the retreat center.
My friend and teacher Sue invited me to go with her as a representative for our small San Diego Sangha. Two years ago, I received a “Green Tara” teaching via webcast from Lama Tsultrim Allione, the founder and spiritual director at Tara Mandala and have been practicing ever since but I am a beginner. The enormity and complexity of the teachings and meditation practices is beyond narrative. There are rituals, visualizations, mantra, mudra and way more substance that aid in cutting through the ego and helping to resolve inner conflict but I don’t have enough experience to properly explain the path. What I can wholeheartedly say is that it is fascinating.
Once again, I found myself in the company of teachers. The retreat was chock-full of scholarly sorts from all over the world. Feeling a bit intimidated at times, I attentively listened to a variety of Dharma talks delivered by the teachers who were presenting to the group. The discussions were both stimulating and thought provoking. Lama Tsultrim offered warm advice and wisdom. She weaved her personal experiences into her knowledge of historical facts. The days were full with meditation and teachings leaving not much time for anything else besides eating and sleeping.
Feelings of sadness, disgust, helplessness and rage permeate my being today. 13 people were shot and killed at The Borderline Bar and Grill in Thousand Oaks CA last night. Another incident of gun violence where vulnerable people were murdered from senseless violence and survivors are left traumatized.
Recent history indicates that this kind of irrational aggression is on the rise. Just in the past two months, we have had over twenty mass shootings. This is horrific! Here are some statistics
https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/reports/mass-shooting
It’s understandable that more people are living in fear when in fact they feel unsafe in their place of worship, a yoga studio, and in a neighborhood bar offering line dancing for college students. We tend to read about these horrific happenings and feel sympathetic perhaps, but what would it feel like if one of these innocent people were your friend, daughter, son, or even someone you vaguely knew? This problem is everyone’s problem and it’s in our backyard and nobody is exempt.
When will our country wake up to the dangers of unrestricted guns and senseless civilian ownership of semi-automatic weapons? Young men suffering from PTSD, mental illnesses and isolation need support. Enough is enough!
Kindness and compassion are stronger than violence. I feel in my bones that the more divided we are as a nation, the more aggression we will feel. When I hear about people buying and accessing guns to protect their families in response to these shootings, I can’t help but think we are attempting to put out a fire with gasoline. It’s crazy!
I hope that as a county we can work together compassionately to heal and move forward with skillful means to stop this cycle of violence. I have always loved this poem by David Whyte called Loaves and Fishes. He so eloquently shares that we are hungry for kindness and love.
As we approach Thanksgiving, a time of reflection and gratitude, let us come together in peace.
Loaves and Fishes
by David Whyte
This is not
the age of information.
This is NOT
the age of information.
Forget the news
and the radio
and the blurred screen.
This is the time
of loaves
and fishes.
People are hungry
and one good word is bread
for a thousand.
Monthly Reflections September/October 2018
Distraction is widespread and it’s so easy to lose our attention and become entangled in mundane, habitual, disturbing or stimulating happenings rather than be in the presence of what is actually happening. I know because I am human. Even now, I sit at my computer, which is old and slow, I feel a bit impatient and my mind spirals in different directions. Being present with others and ourselves offers us the opportunity to tap into what is most important. Freedom in our lives and feeling safe are both basic and vital requirements for finding love and happiness. I am outraged and disgusted by the division and hate that has infiltrated our country. It’s sad and disheartening to observe how senseless violence seems common these days and basic human decency is rare. Nevertheless, I am confident that change is constant, bullies never win in the long run and love is stronger than hate.
Yesterday was my 25th wedding anniversary and the day itself was uneventful. Yet, last week I spent 10 sumptuous days with my husband in Mexico to celebrate together. It really is a luxury to get away, be in nature, in quietude, with limited access to Wi-Fi and FLOAT.
One of my favorite moments on most days was to swim in the ocean. I made a daily effort to pause, taste the salt on my lips and feel the sensation of the water around me. I would lie on my back and float, gazing up at the vastness of the open sky. As I felt the echo of my own breath oscillate, I felt supported by the mysterious water below me. As I peered upward at the spacious sky, I felt a kind of lightness that one only feels when we let go of anxiety and distraction. I was in union between earth and sky, floating and completely absorbed.
“We are uncomfortable with empty space…As you become comfortable with this non-referential state, you begin to move away from habitual clinging. We are typically so caught up in our difficulties and thoughts that we don’t experience this state, so resting in it is like letting ourselves float in the ocean and being rocked by it instead of drowning and struggling against it.”
Lama Tsultrium Allione
August Reflections 2018
Inspiration is nice and essential, I think. It’s the grasping for, or even worse, waiting around for something to inspire us that seems futile and ineffective. Change is for sure, but motivation doesn’t just happen. It can’t be inherited, applied like sunscreen, purchased from a store or borrowed from a friend. It’s work!
Today I pulled some weeds in my garden. I dug a few holes and cleared away the lifeless tomato vines that once produced some beautiful fruit this summer. I am reminded of the hard work it takes to maintain a garden and the rich gifts it offers when it is consistently cared for.
I have spent almost two decades seeking various methods, modalities and regimes for enrichment in my life. I feel inspired for a while, move on and then look for another level of inspiration yet all the while; it’s always with me. This precious life offers so much inspiration if we are willing to do the work and show up particularly when it ain’t easy.
The thing we call inspiration is not outside of ourselves. To me, it’s an internal informant secretly communicating precisely what needs to happen and when. The problem is, sometimes I don’t listen. But when I do, things are more joyful. When I work through practice without over effort, and listen attentively I can activate (as can you) this inner voice of inspiration.
So when I feel inspired by external forces, that’s great! But, I recognize that these forces are not the solution they simply help me tap into myself on a deeper level. Looking beyond myself for something that lies inside is worthless. Pulling up the weeds of emotional darkness or digging down into the holes of emptiness or composting the psychological scraps is what cultivates a rich garden. The work I do on my cushion, on my mat and in my relationships, is what inspires me. I am inspired every day by my students, teachers, and all the children in the world. With your support, we can all bear fruit from the seeds we sow together.
“Do you love this world?
Do you cherish your humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath?
Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden, and softly,
and exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with the white and pink flowers,
with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling
their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are
nothing, forever?”
Mary Oliver
July Reflections 2018
What is the difference between exercising and practicing yoga?
The word yoga means to yoke. It’s a complete conversion with self and the magnificent forces of nature. It’s the action or karma of embodying symbolic archetypes, visualizing, breathing, and becoming more intimate with ourselves and others. It’s difficult to know this however because our marketing culture streamlines and reduces its significance to a mere workout. Seems like, if a person has been practicing yoga for an extended period of time but is a jerk, then they might want to try something else. All kidding aside, the lessons we learn from practice teach us to be kind.
Asanas are the postures we practice and perform as physical exercise to promote health and reduce disease. Ancient texts refer to asana as
“a seat to be held in position that is firm, but relaxed.” After placing my body into positions that cultivate awareness, relaxation and concentration for over twenty years, I did and “do” a lot of asana. However, I feel incomplete without my meditation practice.
We live in a society of “doing” stuff and accomplishing things. Most of our modern western culture meanders along in our busy lives on a particular trajectory whether we strategize or not. Some of us finish high school and go off to college if we are lucky enough to afford it and be interested in it. Some have a family, a career, a partner, responsibilities, setbacks, failures, commitments and great joys. You get the idea.
All this “doing” we accumulate can surely reward us with accomplishments that certainly would not happen without the effort that we put into “doing” but until we stop to embody the posture, deity, sensation or the present moment and until we rest back instead of push forward, we are still just on the treadmill of “doing” and on the road to nowhere.
I am both inspired and committed to the practices of Vajrayana Buddhism as taught by Lama Tsultrim Allione. Very simplified, Vajrayana is the path of transformation. Working with the Mandala principal of transforming encumbered patterns into wisdom has expanded my perspective and offered me more clarity and ease in my everyday life. Sharing them is even better!!!!
As I continue to weave the energies of movement, sound, mantra with meditation and visualization, it feels all-inclusive and complete to me. Asana by itself is only a few pieces in a big box of chocolate.
So next time you tell someone that you “do yoga” think about its meaning and your intention.
June Reflections 2018
I had visions of grandeur this month when I imagined myself writing my monthly missive but presently I have, “writers block”. My elaborate narrative in my mind of course, lies deep in my imagination and has fallen flat.
Oh no…Time is running out because June is coming to an end, I have self inflicted responsibilities that need my attention, my three adult kids have moved home for the summer and require assistance, Trump’s ongoing offensive comments and actions trigger my sensibilities affecting my central nervous system, a friend’s husband is sick and I’m absorbing her sadness, I’m heading out of town on Sunday morning with lots of loose ends to tie up and my mind is spinning out of control with confusing thoughts…Does this busyness sound familiar?
We all get caught up in our own storyline. The never ending “to do list” can take us to the places we don’t want to go! But alas… here we go. It’s the journey of sadness, sorrow, pain, suffering, elation and joy. The answer for me is PAUSE…
I’m heading to Colorado where the sky is vast, open and so blue. Lyle (My husband) and I will be together on a road trip through Sedona, Mesa Verde and Durango. Then I’m off to Tara Mandala solo on retreat.https://taramandala.org
I look forward to relaxing, reflecting and even going to the places that scare me:) I wish you all a joyous summer and beyond.
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win, cause you'll play against you.
All Alone! Whether you like it or not,
Alone you will be something quite a lot.
And when you're alone. There' a very good chance
You'll meet some things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
That can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go, though the weather be foul,
On you will go, though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many a frightening creek,
Though your arms may get sore
And your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike.
And I know you'll hike far
And face up to your problems
Whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
As you already know.
You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure where you step.
Step with care and great tact
And remember that life's a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
By: Dr. Seuss
May Reflections 2018
Yesterday was Saka Dawa, a holy festival on the Tibetan calendar celebrating the birth, death and enlightenment of The Buddha. Any actions done during this time both auspicious and harmful are supposedly multiplied in power. Seems like a good time to cultivate more loving-kindness in our lives.
Shakyamuni Buddha was born Siddhartha Gautama, prince of the Shakyas around 2,500 years ago in (what is now) Nepal. He grew up in luxury with attendants to serve and entertain him.
During his life, the prince, wanderer and ascetic faced the four common sufferings to all people: birth, aging, sickness and death. As he began his search for a solution to human suffering, he renounced his luxurious life style and embarked on a spiritual quest to understand how one could overcome suffering.
For years, he subjected himself to austere practices and ascetic disciplines; fasting and living as a hermit yet found it impossible to reach liberation through self-mortification.
In BodhGaya India where I was fortunate enough to visit a few years ago, he sat under a pipal tree, entered a deep state of meditation and awakened to the true nature of life. It was under this tree that he attained enlightenment through quietude, practice and meditation and then became the Buddha or “Awakened One”.
While remaining under the tree pleased by his liberation but troubled by the perils he now faced in longing to share his wisdom with others, he traveled, promoting peace and compassion teaching people to access their own innate potential to be awake.
In our modern day, extreme circumstances such as luxury and deprivation might offer some insight but through the teachings (Dharma) and my own personal practice it feels like integration and equability in all things is more sustainable. It’s not easy to always be “awake” or fully present or even ” in the moment” despite our best efforts but we can take refugee in both our own and others ambitious attempts to try. I think it’s important to recognize and acknowledge that everyone is doing his or her best.
If collectively we try to do our best in everything, including thought, speech and action we would probably all be a bit more awake to the presence and dignity that surrounds us.
April Monthly Reflections 2018
Perfecting posture for meditation comes not so much by doing but by not doing. Surely we have to put some effort into training the body to sit straight and be aligned. However, after that is accomplished, the next step is to learn to do less, allowing the posture to settle in for meditation and open into a sort of effortless effort. It is an active form of doing nothing, of consciously ceasing to place any effort into the posture. This conscious effort to release any mode of effort can be felt experientially and viscerally. You can know for yourself that this really is an effective, useful, and key principle in developing a sitting posture for meditation, calming the nervous system and an overall metaphor for life.
I am reminded of sutra 2:47 that Patanjali so eloquently compiled for us.
prayatna shaithilya ananta samapattibhyam
This sutra suggests that asanas are attained by a relaxation of effort and by absorption of the unlimited or infinite. I think it also communicates a way of loosening tension, grip or effort in all things. In trying to “do” or accomplish a posture (or anything for that matter) through aggression, we generate a narrow viewpoint and lose sight of the wider perspective. But allowing our attention to merge with the uncontrolled nature of reality provides us access to pure consciousness. It feels limitless and less contracted. I know for myself that when I think I can control a situation, it typically does not go as I anticipated.
I think we all try to control things on a certain level but to what degree can we actually control anything? I was sick with the flu this month for almost 10 days. Like so many it seems, I too fell prey to the “ I’ll recover much faster than most because I’m healthy” attitude. But alas, the flu needed to run it’s course regardless of my wanting to control or change the situation. My will and determination was not going to change anything. So there I was mostly sitting, sleeping, reflecting, and feeling sorry for myself doing absolutely nothing. And in those precious moments I realized that surrender was the only option. Doing nothing was exactly what I was supposed to be doing.
Wishing you optimal health in mind and heart.
March Reflections 2018
The calendar tells us that spring this year started on Tuesday, March 20th. The spring season typically promotes hope, happiness, flowers, optimism and warmth (in temperature and attitude). The season also brings observations of rejuvenation as celebrated in many cultures. So as the sun crosses the equator, it’s important to recognize that we are making a transition rather than marking a specific period in time.
While marking time can be valuable, it also can create anxiety. Most of us feel pressure with a deadline yet inspired by a goal. If we didn’t have these intervals called time, we may not ever hold each other accountable for anything. Conceivably, we might never get to work, school or happy hour “on time.”
While spring has sprung in some parts of the world, the Northeast is stricken with another snowstorm in three weeks affectionately known as the four’easter. I grew up in the northeast and it never felt like spring in March to me. I believe it is essential to consider the subtleties that arise as time passes, light morphs, wrinkles materialize, relationships change, flowers bloom, weeds surface and moods shift. Taking the time we need to observe our own inner climate offers us wisdom. Without inner heeding, our reactions are usually impulsive and unskillful. Ask yourself what is the weather like inside my ever-changing heart-mind?
This time of year also holds certain anticipation. Spring-cleaning perhaps, eradicating what no longer serves us, learning something new, eating fresh seasonal fruits and vegetables, shedding the winter sludge both mentally and physically and basketball.
March Madness is here! I love basketball for the athleticism but I don’t follow the stats or anything like that. It’s just kinda fun to watch and notice the excitement around it.
I hope Spring 2018 is the beginning of positive change. Winter, in some respects, was a bit bleak…with bombings, more school shootings and the ongoing chaos in the White House (to mention a few). I’m so incredibly proud of all the teenagers who, without hesitation, spoke out and will March for our Lives on Saturday March 24. I am with you in spirit.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
― Margaret Mead
February Reflections 2018
Let go of your worries
Rumi
Let go of your worries
and be completely clear-hearted,
like the face of a mirror
that contains no images.
If you want a clear mirror,
behold yourself
and see the shameless truth,
which the mirror reflects.
If metal can be polished
to a mirror-like finish,
what polishing might the mirror
of the heart require?
Between the mirror and the heart
is this single difference:
the heart conceals secrets,
while the mirror does not.
It seems to me that Rumi is suggesting that we let our hearts reflect who we are and not whom we think we should be or what other people think of us. May we aspire to be “clear-hearted” by asking our heart what sort of “polishing” it needs?
Perhaps, in a compassionate way we can offer it LOVE.
It is through persistent practice, determination and patience that our resolve shifts from the foggy, ambiguous and blurred mirror of our fabricated self to the clarity of bodhicitta or awakened heart-mind.
January Reflections 2018
A few days ago was Martin Luther King Jr.’s Birthday. A man whose life brought hope and healing to America, The timeless values he taught us through his example couldn’t be more poignant and current today than they were back then. The values of courage, truth, justice, compassion, dignity and humility so radiantly define his character. On this Day, we commemorate the universal, unconditional love, forgiveness and non-violence (Ahimsa) that empowered his most revolutionary spirit.
“Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.”
~Martin Luther King Jr.
As we move gingerly into another calendar year, I hope that we can all find the strength and courage to keep our hearts and minds unguarded while we take action for what is right. The time to wake up is now and the simplest gestures toward each other and the planet can make a long-lasting impact. Solidarity offers us the support we need for ultimate liberation or Moksha in Sanskirt. Thank you all for your friendship, love and ongoing support. I feel honored to be your sister of the cosmos.
~Women’s March is this Saturday January 20!
December Reflections 2017
Tomorrow is the winter solstice acknowledging the shortest day and the longest night of the year. The solstice marks the beginning of winter and a rebirth of the sun. Interestingly enough it is one of the oldest known winter celebrations both spiritually and scientifically.
The term solstice is derived from the Latin world "solstitium," which means, "Sun standing still." During this time, the sun ostensibly stands still directly over the Tropic of Capricorn, which is 23.5 degrees south of the equator (which I just learned)
The thought of stillness seems foreign to some as we rush around this time of year purchasing gifts online and off, hustling to events that feel like obligation rather than enthusiasm and consuming way too much of everything. Most of us spend the year in a constant state of busyness so we never really stop to pause and see what is bubbling within. But with the December Solstice energy, we are all given the opportunity to take a peek at what is happening on a heart and soul level by standing still with the sun.
The biblical story of Christmas is also upon us where Mary gives birth to a son named Jesus in a manger and I am reminded of the sweetness and importance of birth, simplicity, the offerings and the miracle of life itself. Stories like this can help us to cultivate a deeper connection to truth, dignity and love.
This has been a most challenging year and I suspect that regardless of your religious beliefs, most would agree that the behaviors of some powerful men in both government and the private sector have acted contrary to the biblical story and its essence of dignity.
May we use this time to slow down, be still and connect to our true essential nature. This is not the story we carry/hold or tell ourselves but the kernel, seed or spore of our spirit. My intention this holiday season is to experience each moment in its form without hurry. I wish you a very joyful solstice and beyond…
Sleeping in the Forest
By Mary Oliver
I thought the earth
remembered me, she
took me back so tenderly, arranging
her dark skirts, her pockets
full of lichens and seeds. I slept
as never before, a stone
on the riverbed, nothing
between me and the white fire of the stars
but my thoughts, and they floated
light as moths among the branches of the perfect trees. All night
I heard the small kingdoms breathing
around me, the insects, and the birds
who do their work in the darkness. All night
I rose and fell, as if in water, grappling
with a luminous doom. By morning
I had vanished at least a dozen times
into something better.
November Reflections 2017
Gratitude is a reminder of the radiant peace that rests at the core of our being. Even in churning confusion, even amidst fear of not having or being enough, even at the bottom of a seemingly boundless pit is that peaceful light. When we strengthen our awareness at that fundamental level, I think we become free to make choices that reflect our true and authentic nature.
As Cliché as it sounds, we all have so much to be grateful for. Life itself is a gift. Slowing down in the midst of the rush is challenging and takes some concentrated effort. But, when we begin to grasp at things beyond our control (which I do) it never seems constructive. Trying to make things different or attempting to manipulate without awareness feels like a calamity. It’s when we pay attention to the moment that is directly in front of us without rush or distraction that is when we can connect more deeply to others and ourselves. That being said, I offer you this poem by Mary Oliver.
Oxygen
Everything needs it: bone, muscles, and even,
while it calls the earth its home, the soul.
So the merciful, noisy machine
stands in our house working away in its
lung-like voice. I hear it as I kneel
before the fire, stirring with a
stick of iron, letting the logs
lie more loosely. You, in the upstairs room,
are in your usual position, leaning on your
right shoulder which aches
all day. You are breathing
patiently; it is a
beautiful sound. It is
your life, which is so close
to my own that I would not know
where to drop the knife of
separation. And what does this have to do
with love, except
everything? Now the fire rises
and offers a dozen, singing, deep-red
roses of flame. Then it settles
to quietude, or maybe gratitude, as it feeds
as we all do, as we must, upon the invisible gift:
our purest, sweet necessity: the air.”
This month offered me time away with my kids, a weekend with old friends in celebration of life, and nourishing time spent in nature. For the first time in a while, I feel re-energized and equipped with vitality to greet the holiday season. I hope to keep it simple this year. And I hope the same for you. My intention is to NOT get caught up in the hustle and excess of the season but to enjoy it for the essence of the spirit. Feel free to remind me and hold me accountable in December.
Wishing you all a very fruitful and joyous Thanksgiving!
September/October Monthly Reflections 2017
The word “Vulnerability” gets tossed around like a football these days. In 1996 Pema Chodron, a beloved contemporary American spiritual leader, activist, and author amongst Buddhist and non-Buddhists alike wrote When things Fall Apart which ignited the necessity to expose ones vulnerability as a method to break through suffering. The book was and continues to be a modern-day offering for working with painful emotions and it helps to communicate and encourage people to open up rather than shut down.
In 2010, Brene Brown’s TED Talk “The Power of Vulnerability” went viral and suddenly it became fashionable to display our vulnerability. And while I understand the simplicity of that statement, the sentiment feels true. Through Brown’s research, she shows that vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging and love (among other things) so we should embrace it! I agree wholeheartedly but I also feel the importance of discernment and selectivity to safeguard us from harmful circumstances. We are all more sensitive and highly affected then we might acknowledge.
What if we could create and cultivate a nourishing veil (so to speak) around ourselves so that we can stay grounded, self regulated and true to what is real? What if our practice offered us access to a safe and comforting internal environment where we could slowly, at our own pace, explore compassion and grace without feeling overwhelmed by our quivering vulnerability.
In recent weeks, we have been barraged by senseless violence, ongoing government chaos, natural disasters and sexual harassment scandals assaulting us from every angle. Even if our lives are not directly disturbed by these events, we are subtly storing this distress inside. It is painful and seemingly unprecedented.
Yoga and meditation offer us comfort, stability and a loving embrace. It is through sustained practice that we begin to see things more clearly, support ourselves and others with more compassion and take wise action when needed. While it takes time and patience, our true nature is revealed which includes being vulnerable yet RESILIENT.
July/ August Reflections 2017
Every summer for the past several years I have intentionally chosen an experience providing challenge and exhilaration. Most of these previous events have included voyages to climb a mountain, traverse across a desert in extreme heat or begin an ascent up a steep rock between two steel cables used as handholds during a lightening storm. This year was a little different…
In an attempt to establish a deeper connection with my 23-year-old son and selfishly wanting to view the eclipse in its totality, I traveled almost 1000 miles in my car to spend a week at The Oregon Eclipse Festival.
While the journey was lengthy, the time spent traveling was memorable with three days in the Trinity Alps where the pristine water from the spring is drinkable and the oxygen feels abundant. We then spent a few nights in Ashland where we took in a delightful play and strolled in Litha Park. What could be more perfect than the last leg of the journey ending in Totality- that point of a solar eclipse when the sun is entirely covered by the moon?
After many hours of waiting in line to enter the festival, my son and I arrived at the Festival 35 miles outside of Prineville Oregon. If you look on a map, it’s called Big Summit Prairie, a privately owned ranch of over 55,000 acres inside the Ochoco National Forest. Yes, it’s out there!
While the sun baked the festival well into the 80’s everyday and an overall pumping sound of deep base permeated the acreage regardless of where you stood, 30 thousand people came together for this event. Most in they’re mid to late twenties but some parents with little kids and a portion of remaining Deadheads all looking for something.
Freedom and love seemed to be the theme of the festival. I often heard a variety of teachers facilitating a class or workshop saying the same thing: “we are all here to release the stagnation in our bodies.” Yet, I witnessed a lot of people hanging out doing nothing except drugs. I can’t pretend to be a saint or behave as if I have never been reckless in my life because I have. But, fantasizing about liberation and deepening consciousness by dropping acid in a dusty parking lot, exposing genitals, dressing funkier than the next guy and listening to really loud music while producing trash in a once unspoiled setting doesn’t feel like the way to cultivate connection or sustainable relationships for me. I can hear myself sounding older.
I would be remiss not to mention the incredible Earth Art that was created for this event. Structures and recycled sculptures including bridges and tree houses surrounded the lake. Happenings of music, dance, yoga, wellness workshops, permaculture, Ayurveda, nutrition and much more were continuous all day and night. The sun exposure, dust and wind were elements to combat each day. The stimulus was extreme and intense.
So yes, this summer I challenged myself. I was able to use the tools that I have refined over my 20 years of practice to stay centered and above all with my own experience rather than be judgmental and critical. There are many ways to find liberation and even “to free stagnation” but I don’t think Festivals are for me. I enjoy stillness and quiet that allows me space to feel what is occurring whether it is joy or sorrow.
On the day of the eclipse, I felt a sense of benevolence and a swarm of lights shining against the oncoming darkness. The atmosphere became cold and dark. I felt a loving closeness with my son yet an inevitable divide too. As the the moon slowly passed in front of the sun we were one for a short time, but now I realize he needs to keep moving without my penetrating light behind him.
"When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
Age of Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius
Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius
Aquarius"
June Reflections 2017
As I kid, I have some fond memories of summertime growing up on the east coast. It was hot and humid from sunrise to sunset. Catching fireflies in a glass jar at night while gazing up at the evening sky with a free and easy spirit was pervasive. Time has changed and life feels a lot different after living in California for 30 years.
June offers a sort of excitement and transformation as we move from the busy-ness of a school year or work cycle to a more relaxed schedule. The days are longer, the scholastic grip to “get ahead” seems to wane and the gardens are abundant with sumptuous fruit and vegetables for our nourishment. I feel fortunate and recognize that so many do not have the privilege of time or abundance.
I had the great pleasure to be in the presence of the Dalai Lama at UCSD few weeks ago. While I was restless to arrive exceptionally early for optimal seating, the rest of my friends and my 23 year old son were less enthusiastic about the early influx, yet they humored me by capitulating as we arrived a few hours before the presentation.
His Holiness spoke on the topic of “Embracing the Beauty of Diversity in our World.” As I have had time to reflect, I acknowledge that the human race is astonishingly diverse. Gender, ethnic backgrounds, race, class, religion, nationality, sexuality, philosophy and lifestyle are just some. And, the areas in which we differ are never-ending. Yet, at a basic level, we are all of the same species. We experience highs and lows in life and do our best to find happiness and fulfillment. Our common joys, pains and despairs bring us together, but diversity is what makes us unique.
Honestly, the title of His Holiness’s public talk could have been anything because his message to spread peace, compassion and kindness is always the prevailing theme. One in which I could hear over and over again because we all need to hear this message. May we all have the patience to look beyond ourselves and share this message of love, kindness and compassion regardless of our unique differences. And may the privilege of time and abundance be shared with those who have less than us.
May Reflections 2017
This month delivered a particular preciousness to the atmosphere. More rain has fallen this year than I can ever remember and the air is fresh, flowers are blooming and the weeds are ubiquitous. While we are always faced with obstacles, both substantial and trifling, I can’t help but feel the potential that exists everywhere. When we settle into the potentiality of our true nature, the awakened heart-mind arises and provides us with wisdom.
As most of us speed through our frenetic lifestyle searching, grasping, coveting, embellishing and perhaps just getting by, we forget that what we need most is at the center of our inner landscape. Sometimes it’s frustrating for me to think of all the time I wasted looking outside myself and (continue to do so), when it’s actually right here inside me (and you too).
I just returned from a week at Tara Mandala, a Buddhist Retreat Center in Pagosa Springs Colorado. 15 students and myself leaped into a rich practice of transformation by working with the Mandala as a symbol of the psyche. Through visualization, mantra, mudra and sensory awareness, we investigated that inner landscape. At times I felt overwhelmed by the weeds of my own overgrowth but trust prevailed and ultimately, it all felt joyful and liberating. While we worked with art, sound and the elements in nature as a way of connecting more deeply to ourselves, sweet relationships developed and compassion irrigated those connections.
My/our practice thus continues, and actually never ends, it only changes. With a deep appreciation for all my incredible students and those willing to be curious, change, grow and learn with me, I bow. Without you, I would have no canvas to paint on and explore any landscape at all. Your inquiries and openness keeps me studying practicing and laughing.
So off the mat, off the cushion and into our lives we wholeheartedly participate in all the possibilities of maintaining the connection to our true essential nature, Purusha (Sanskrit) or Primordial Wisdom as we recognize that it is palpable. In fact, one mind training technique called a slogan says this…
“In post meditation, be a child of illusion.”
This suggests that we often stumble along within an environment that we recognize to be dubious and illusory. So rather than trying to make our world solid and predictable, and complaining when that is not the case, we could maintain the glimpses of the illusory nature of experience that arise in meditation practice, and touch into that open illusory quality in the midst of our daily activities. A less tight and more open quality is the ground on which the compassionate actions of the bodhisattva (awakened heart-mind) can and will arise.
April Monthly Reflections 2017
Politically our country continues to be divided and an underlining chorus of fear, distrust and animosity prevails in the mainstream media and beyond. It’s despairing and feels a bit overwhelming sometimes, yet I am still hopeful. Love is greater than fear and ignorance. People are kindhearted and insights are everywhere. Before reacting with aggression, perhaps we can try to stop, sense, and act with discernment for the benefit of all (Viveka Khyati).
A positive outcome from the recent rainstorms brought an abundance of jubilant wild flowers and clean air to our neighboring areas this month. Spring has sprung and the drought in California is officially over! Pure water, clean air and quality of life are elements that I never want to take for granted. They nurture our vital force and support our daily existence. When I consider the gift of being able to share resources and basic humanity with all of human kind, I am reminded of one of my favorite Yoga Sutras:
maitri karuna mudita upekshanam sukha duhka punya apunya vishayanam bhavanatah chitta prasadanam
In relationships, the mind becomes purified by cultivating feelings of friendliness towards those who are happy, compassion for those who are suffering, goodwill towards those who are virtuous, and indifference or neutrality towards those we perceive as wicked or evil.
Regardless of our background/history/ views, we all have more room for compassion and understanding. Remember, one never knows how much someone else is suffering.
I dedicate this piece to Catharine Chichakian who affected so many lives and brought so many lives into the world and into our community. May she rest in everlasting peace.
March Reflections 2017
March is the month of re-birth and growth. As the light changes and flowers bloom, it feels celebratory. As we shift from winter into spring a time where the sun crosses the celestial equator, when day and night are approximately of equal length my own vitality changes too. I’m grateful because I was feeling a bit sluggish.
Interestingly enough, March is the time of Navratri, a celebration of the divine feminine for 9 days in India. Typically three deities (Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati are represented as symbols of three dimensions of the feminine. Simultaneously, they also represent the three basic qualities of existence or “Gunas.” These Gunas are Tamas (darkness, destructive, chaotic), Rajas (passion, action, confusion) and Sattva (goodness, constructive, harmonious). All three of these Gunas are present in everyone and everything. One might consider Gunas analogous to that of our personality or innate nature.
When we are able to connect with nature and acknowledge that we are nature, this is union or Yoga. Earth is Tamas, Sun is Rajas and Moon is Sattva. Balancing the ever-changing virtues of our existence is ongoing and can be challenging. Yet, I think that it is through self-compassion and kindness towards others that real steadiness ensues; steadiness or balance that is shouting for our deepest consideration. Consideration of these matters offers spaciousness for all the qualities of our existence without judgment or criticism.
Dr. Dianne Sterling and I embarked upon another Mindfulness Yoga for Trauma course last night. As 13 exquisitely courageous people arrived, I was reminded again that together we must draw upon these qualities of existence for our own nourishment because we need all three of them. To nourish doesn’t mean attaining power or control it’s actually more about discovering liberation.
February Reflections 2017
Life is a limitless transition. I’m intrigued by how many transitions we make in a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime. It’s always occurring yet we often don’t even notice or pay attention. Some of the most poignant moments in my life occur amid the space between movement and stillness. It feels like a sort of intermission and an opportunity to reflect my own scattered thoughts that often block a state of clear, unattached awareness. An awareness that I know already exists yet oftentimes not paid attention to. Maybe it’s because I am distracted and my senses feel violated? What about you?
The presidential election results were and continue to be a colossal transition for most of us. It’s painful to have our senses bombarded with fear and anger on a daily basis. It’s hard for me not to have empathy for those that live in distress and trepidation about their future. Some days I feel horrified by the latest political antics but then joyful watching our nation come together in solidarity. I relish in the humor that SNL and Full Frontal provide but it’s embarrassingly so close to the truth that I pause and feel disheartened.
My husband and I lost our friend Rob last month. He died whilst surfing from a heart attack. While I can’t imagine a more appropriate setting for him to pass, it felt way too soon. He was an iconic waterman. Kind and intelligent, he leaves behind his wife and two children. We will miss him. Death is the ultimate transition and we don’t know when, where or how it will present it’s self. When someone we care about passes away, it makes us more aware of our own mortality. Transitioning from this life to the unknown is mysterious.
Transitions are pervasive and there is no way around them. So whether we are resting or uneasy in the presence of now, consider some investigation. Through Svadhyaya or self-study in Sanskrit, we consciously observe our internal atmosphere rather than ignore it. Watch the changes of our personal barometer and the movements of our sensations. Be sensitive and use discernment. What is the weather like in there? It could be very interesting to notice without judgment or criticism and perhaps offer some new meaningful insights.
The Journey
By Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice – - -
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations – - -
though their melancholy
was terrible.It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do – - – determined to save
the only life you could save.
January 2017 Reflections
Last Saturday at the Women’s March in San Diego and around the globe was an inspiration for all. It wasn’t just women. It was a diverse crowd walking peacefully in solidarity. It was energetic and calm at the same time. I experienced people being thoughtful and making an effort to be kindhearted amongst the hoards of individuals. People were intelligent, kind, compassionate, friendly and not angry or aggressive in any way.
Margaret Wheatley (writer, teacher, activist) wrote, “There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about.”
People indicated that they cared about a plethora of issues carrying signs and supporting human rights. Some signs were painfully serious; some were humorous and some truthfully horrifying. But, everyone shared the common thread of support for humanity. It was a beautiful display of democracy. Yesterday, I heard Governor Jerry Brown deliver his State of the State address. It too was equally poignant as he quoted from Woody Guthrie’s song:
This Land is Your Land.
Nobody living can ever stop me,
As I go walking that freedom highway;
Nobody living can ever make me turn back
This land was made for you and me.
Governor Brown said, “ California is not turning back. Not now, not ever.”
Change is certain but boundless opportunities are omnipresent. I may not be able to do something BIG but what if we all can do something small. Don’t be afraid to speak up, protect the environment and human rights. Be kind! Most importantly, lets not normalize horrendous behavior. Remember, some things are NOT ok.
The New Year began for me with an intimate gathering of friends and family. I ripened one year older as I seem to do every year in January. Then a few days in the Eastern Sierras offered the Winter Wonderland that I often miss living in Southern California. A deep appreciation for the mountains and the beauty of Mother Nature still penetrates my bones. I also spent a week in Big Sur where I learned a few things that I had not expected to learn. From the Mountains to the Oceans, the vastness of our own awakening is nearby. May we all be activists and environmentalists respecting and standing up for the world we so appreciate and care about. The recent rain is a symbol of growth and change. As we slowly make our way out of this long dry drought, I am optimistic that the voices of democracy will be heard and that true peace will prevail for all beings everywhere.
December Reflections 2016
Tis the season again…I began stuffing holiday cards into envelops as I have done for the past 19 years when all of a sudden it felt pretty superficial. Call me Grinch but sending off cards with “LOVE, PEACE and JOY” plastered all over the front page didn’t represent how I’m currently feeling. Of course, I am grateful for my life, family and friends but disappointed with the direction that our country may be headed. Too early to tell but indicators are significant and choices are being made. There is sadness in the atmosphere that can’t be denied. Below are a few points that come up for me as we move forward into a New Year and leave this one behind.
It is my sincere hope that peace prevails and that globally we stand together free from greed, hatred and cruelty.
All life is one
Never undervalue what other people are going through
Kindness is the greatest religion irrespective of your beliefs
You can love someone from a distance
Floss…it works!
Not everyone will “like” you
It’s impossible to feel good all the time so find ease in discomfort
It’s healthy to agree to disagree
Refined Sugar is unsympathetic
Humor is healing
Yoga is the art of self-healing, be gentle in your practice
War is senseless
Finding your passion is overrated
Drink moderately
Eat the most wholesome food you can afford
Be as close to nature as often as possible
Don’t litter…Ever!
Listen to your intuition…it’s usually right
Take time for silence, every day
Contemplate others more than yourself
Walk, Run, Dance, and Move it feels good
Embrace the Earth…it’s our mother
This body is a rental so don’t get too attached
November Reflections 2016
"Integrity is when I do what I know to be right, even if no one else will ever find out."
Less then one week after the election, dazed and perplexed from the results, I joyfully attended a Dharma Talk given by Sharon Salzberg, one of America’s most beloved meditation teachers. She emphasized the importance of ascertaining “the fundamentals” which resonates with me. In times of turbulence and greater uncertainty, it’s essential to back up, slow down and practice the fundamentals that our practice is built upon. In our culture, we have a funny distaste for studying the basics. Truthfully, most of us associate that with a sign of weakness. It might sound rudimentary or too easy to competitive types (myself included). But the reality is, the fundamentals are the essential pieces of any practice regardless of how long you have been at it. When life throws us uncertainty (which is ever changing and constant) we can be prepared to handle it because we have embraced the fundamental skills. Observation of our breath, Body Scan or standing in Tadasana and other standing poses that promote earth element are what nurture us. Never underestimate the power of a “simple practice.” Practicing Metta or loving-kindness is an anecdote to fear Sharon suggested. Next time you feel angry or fearful offer kindness and observe your breath then see what happens. You might be surprised that it too passes.
A few weeks ago, I offered a workshop to a group of delightful students at Yoga Del Mar. The theme was Gratitude and its message appeared to be extremely necessary during these times of uncertainty. I taught gentle backbends which open the chest cavity and create space around the diaphragm. On a physical level, opening the region in and around the diaphragm rebalances the autonomic nervous system, aids in digestion and reduces tension in the neck and shoulders. But more subtly, backbends offer us an undeniable energetic pulse. Tapping into the frequency of back bending is a gift. If we focus less on performance and maintain a vigilance of consciousness there is more sovereignty in any pose. Do we practice for exercise, ego or other?
Exercise is great…don’t misunderstand me. I have been active all my life and hope to continue if my body cooperates. However, if we consider ourselves like an ever-changing moving puzzle, there are many pieces. Exercise is only a piece of the puzzle though. It functions as a vital component in our overall maintenance and lifestyle. While asana, the third limb of eight (or a piece of the puzzle so to speak) is physical, we can consider approaching it with a more expansive view. Asana or poses help blood flow and promote circulation, digestion and lymph health. They can move energy and change your mood. They build strength and flexibility but I think more and encourage you to investigate the endless possibilities.
Ego is great too! We wouldn’t motivate without it. But, when we use ego to feed our lives, and our concerns are filled with how the shape of our bodies appears, we move away from yoga. Showing off externally through poses or other means just builds ego and takes us away from the presence of who we are. This behavior actually takes us away from ourselves and out of yoga.
The workshop closed with much needed Restorative poses. Rest and Reflect is the medicine we all need right now. As we approach Thanksgiving remember that Gratitude is “a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of benefit that one has received or will receive.” Be kind and create space to process and reflect.
"Gratitude is a reminder of the radiant peace that is at our core. Even in swirling confusion, even amidst tremendous fear of not having or being enough, even at the bottom of this seemingly endless pit is that peaceful light. When we strengthen our awareness of that center of being, we become free to make choices that reflect that nature."
Jean Baptiste Massieu
October Reflections 2016
With only a week before one of the most controversial elections of all times, the importance of truth feels like an important subject. Satya is the Sanskrit word for truth. It often refers to virtue or being truthful in one's thought, speech and action. It is the virtuous restraint from falsehood and distortion of reality in one's expressions and actions. It seems so simple and straightforward yet most of us have a difficult time grasping these concepts.
One academic study found that humans lie 10 times a week. We lie because we want to appear more confident or we think it makes someone else feel better. Children and young adults often lie in hopes of feeling more accepted and included. But the interesting statistic is that deception prevents us from cultivating intimacy. Intimacy offers us that tenderness that most of us crave in a relationship. It is the driving force for lasting connections. So what we desire most, we dodge.
Sadly, we start to believe our own lies. What would happen if we were all more authentic and real? What does that even look like? Incidentally, when researchers refer to lying, they don't include the mindless pleasantries or polite equivocations we offer each other in passing, such as "I'm fine, thanks" or "No trouble at all." An "official" lie actually misleads, deliberately conveying a false impression. So complimenting a friend's tragic new shirt or offering to pay the bill when you have no money, doesn't even count.
Radical self-honesty has its difficulties and sometimes pausing is a good answer. Our practice offers us so much truth and pause if we take the time to notice. Instead of over exertion, use support. Rather than physically approach your practice, watch what happens when you don’t get attached to the outcome. Commit to a practice of exploring your true (real) self in relationship to the world around you and not separate. It is not always about just ourselves. Be careful of mistaken awareness and spiritual bypassing.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not the truth. “
Marcus Aurellius
Remember; if you are over 18 you have the right to VOTE!
September Reflections 2016
"There is a harmony in autumn, and a lustre in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!" ― Percy Bysshe Shelley
Today is the Autumnal Equinox when light and darkness are approximately the same. But not for long as the earth never stops moving around the sun. Amongst the movement, “harmony” is a feeling that we all aspire to experience in our lives. Many cultures and religions celebrate holidays and festivals around the September Equinox. It is a time to respect the impending dark while giving thanks to the sunlight. It’s a good time to enact rituals for protection and security as well as reflect on successes or failures from the past months.
Please consider the challenges of those that are deeply suffering all over the world. Cultivate compassion as we strengthen the resolve of leaders to help end the fighting and choose a future of PEACE and harmony.
August Reflections 2016
Ouch…stung by a bee! I would have predicted that would happen while in the mountains a few weeks ago but instead it occurred on the patio outside my home last week. It’s been a long time since I was stung and I don’t remember having an allergic type of response. My arm swollen and fiery, I watched the symptoms slowly decrease. It’s another reminder that everything is impermanent and somewhat unpredictable.
Nestled in the deep forest of the Trinity Alps in Northern California where bears are contemporaneous with campers and yellow jackets are ever-present, I spent five restful days with my husband Lyle and our dear friends Jim and Stephanie. Our friends bought this special property 25 years ago (when I was 25) and have been cultivating the area ever since. They now own additional property where they raise cattle and chickens producing grass-fed meat, organic chickens and eggs. During our stay, we picked berries and baked a cobbler in their wood fired outdoor oven. They have a natural spring running through the property, which provides pure running water. It’s quite magical so my description can’t begin to describe the surrounding beauty. I returned unscathed with fond memories and a lingering freshness for the great outdoors.
Now at home nursing my puffed-up arm (better now), I miss the preciousness of being in nature. Nature provides a doorway into ourselves where time feels limitless and moments alone and together feel stress-free, carefree and tranquil. Sharing food and drinks, swimming in streams, hiking and undertaking puzzles has a certain simplicity that generates effortlessness. Nature provides a calm abiding or Shamayta in Sanskrit that gets misplaced in our everyday lives. Being surrounded by nature makes me feel alive and uninhibited.
Fall is a wonderful time of year. For me, it always feels like a new beginning. A shift in the surrounding light, the change of colors from the leaves on the trees, the shorter days, the kids going back to school and people just seem less guarded and even vulnerable. I am no exception…
I started teaching a new class on Monday nights (5:30pm) at Yoga Del Mar: Sorrento Valley. The studio is a nice clean open space with fresh new props and new faces. It feels like the beginning of a new school year. Come and check it out!
May we all” FALL” into something new with a fresh perspective and simultaneously be supported by our inner wisdom. In his poem
Rilke suggests with imagery, the power for spiritual potential or awakening. When he mentions “ leaves”, he isn't describing them in a purely physical or graphic sense; he treats them with an existential understanding. There is more to autumn than the turning of leaves on earth— "as if orchards were dying high in space” Rilke's contemplation on seasonal change is a reflection on what lies beyond us, or perhaps deep within us — the falling feeling of aloneness and the gravity of life itself. But if this is a poem about gravity and resistance, it's also one of buoyancy and release. "We're all falling," he writes — the leaves, the stars, the earth — swirling out of control yet surrounded by something, or "Someone," of infinite calm.
'Autumn' by Rainer Maria Rilke
The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up,
as if orchards were dying high in space.
Each leaf falls as if it were motioning "no."
And tonight the heavy earth is falling
away from all other stars in the loneliness.
We're all falling. This hand here is falling.
And look at the other one. It's in them all.
And yet there is Someone, whose hands
infinitely calm, holding up all this falling.
July Reflections
I just returned from two precious weeks in Colorado. The vast open sky is what touches me most. There is a quality of wide openness amongst the surrounding nature that carries me back year after year. Living in Southern California, we rarely experience a rainstorm with thunder and lightning like those on a summer night in Colorado. The sky is cobalt blue and filled with white fluffy clouds that seem almost unreal at a glance yet they are so perfectly formed like illustrations from a children’s book.
I landed in Durango to spend the first six days at Blue Lake Ranch for Patricia Walden’s annual retreat. This is the fourth-consecutive year that I have attended. Almost all of the attendees are long time students of Iyengar Yoga and/or teachers of Iyengar Yoga. And, It is with great respect that I humbly bow to the teachings of B.K.S Iyengar. These teachings have brought intelligence to my own yoga practice; they have facilitated my efforts to help others, and they have provided a system for yoga asana to be accessible for ALL through the brilliant use of props.
Iyengar students and teachers alike are serious. They spend countless years studying and practicing mostly asana and the yoga sutras of Patanjali. The path which most take is that of “assessment. “
The eligibility for the preliminary assessment (introductory level 1 and 2) is demanding and includes prerequisites for all candidates. Candidates for assessment must be current members of the Iyengar Yoga National Association, which includes a fee. Candidates must have two certified teachers recommending them and a minimum of three years of continuous practice and study. Candidates must also have the required teacher education training approved through IYNAUS. All assessments include a written test as well as teaching a mock class with unknown students in the presence of at least three certified teachers. The requirements increase significantly, as the certification level becomes more advanced.
My path in practicing yoga has been broader based and I have opted to incorporate a number of different disciplines and modalities in my practice and teaching. Being an “outsider” at an Iyengar retreat resulted in some interesting observations. Patricia Walden is an inspiration at almost 70 years of age. She eloquently holds the space for practice and communicates her wisdom as taught by the Iyengar family. In a class of almost 50 very qualified participants, there is a natural desire to seek the “guru’s” attention. I felt myself fall prey to this desire and had to work through various emotions when I didn’t receive an expected degree of attention. In the end, I came to appreciate being outside (or on the periphery) of the circle. Letting go of my desire for the teacher’s attention allowed a greater space to observe the boundaries of the “circle”. As well, it allowed more freedom to contemplate the benefits and drawbacks of being in or out of the “circle”. As the week progressed, I felt quenched with asana and pranayama practice and I enjoyed being on the periphery.
I am very lucky to have my dear friend Dana who every year so graciously allows me to stay in her carriage house. It is always refreshing to reconnect with her. I also spent time with my friend Nan who lives in Durango and attends the retreat. With both friends, we seamlessly are able to pick up our conversations wherever we left off without hesitation.
The Dharma suggests the Buddhist concept of Shunyata or often translated as emptiness. It refers to all things as empty of intrinsic existence and nature. The spaciousness that I began to feel was only a warm-up for what was to come.
After Durango, I spent six days at Tara Mandala. This scenic Tibetan Buddhist retreat Center is located just outside Pagosa Springs where the sky appears even bigger and the stars at night are magnificent. In Buddhism the sacred mandala is one of the richest visual objects. The physical shape of a mandala is like a circle, a series of points bounded by one line. A ‘circle’ might open or expand to create more space inside or be supported from the space that surrounds it. But if the circle is tightly closed there is no opportunity for anything to penetrate the shell. The Mandala of the Enlightened Feminine is expansive in nature and a core teaching at the retreat center.
My friend and teacher Sue invited me to go with her as a representative for our small San Diego Sangha. Two years ago, I received a “Green Tara” teaching via webcast from Lama Tsultrim Allione, the founder and spiritual director at Tara Mandala and have been practicing ever since but I am a beginner. The enormity and complexity of the teachings and meditation practices is beyond narrative. There are rituals, visualizations, mantra, mudra and way more substance that aid in cutting through the ego and helping to resolve inner conflict but I don’t have enough experience to properly explain the path. What I can wholeheartedly say is that it is fascinating.
Once again, I found myself in the company of teachers. The retreat was chock-full of scholarly sorts from all over the world. Feeling a bit intimidated at times, I attentively listened to a variety of Dharma talks delivered by the teachers who were presenting to the group. The discussions were both stimulating and thought provoking. Lama Tsultrim offered warm advice and wisdom. She weaved her personal experiences into her knowledge of historical facts. The days were full with meditation and teachings leaving not much time for anything else besides eating and sleeping.Monthly Reflections September/October 2018
Distraction is widespread and it’s so easy to lose our attention and become entangled in mundane, habitual, disturbing or stimulating happenings rather than be in the presence of what is actually happening. I know because I am human. Even now, I sit at my computer, which is old and slow, I feel a bit impatient and my mind spirals in different directions. Being present with others and ourselves offers us the opportunity to tap into what is most important. Freedom in our lives and feeling safe are both basic and vital requirements for finding love and happiness. I am outraged and disgusted by the division and hate that has infiltrated our country. It’s sad and disheartening to observe how senseless violence seems common these days and basic human decency is rare. Nevertheless, I am confident that change is constant, bullies never win in the long run and love is stronger than hate.
Yesterday was my 25th wedding anniversary and the day itself was uneventful. Yet, last week I spent 10 sumptuous days with my husband in Mexico to celebrate together. It really is a luxury to get away, be in nature, in quietude, with limited access to Wi-Fi and FLOAT.
One of my favorite moments on most days was to swim in the ocean. I made a daily effort to pause, taste the salt on my lips and feel the sensation of the water around me. I would lie on my back and float, gazing up at the vastness of the open sky. As I felt the echo of my own breath oscillate, I felt supported by the mysterious water below me. As I peered upward at the spacious sky, I felt a kind of lightness that one only feels when we let go of anxiety and distraction. I was in union between earth and sky, floating and completely absorbed.
“We are uncomfortable with empty space…As you become comfortable with this non-referential state, you begin to move away from habitual clinging. We are typically so caught up in our difficulties and thoughts that we don’t experience this state, so resting in it is like letting ourselves float in the ocean and being rocked by it instead of drowning and struggling against it.”
Lama Tsultrium Allione
August Reflections 2018
Inspiration is nice and essential, I think. It’s the grasping for, or even worse, waiting around for something to inspire us that seems futile and ineffective. Change is for sure, but motivation doesn’t just happen. It can’t be inherited, applied like sunscreen, purchased from a store or borrowed from a friend. It’s work!
Today I pulled some weeds in my garden. I dug a few holes and cleared away the lifeless tomato vines that once produced some beautiful fruit this summer. I am reminded of the hard work it takes to maintain a garden and the rich gifts it offers when it is consistently cared for.
I have spent almost two decades seeking various methods, modalities and regimes for enrichment in my life. I feel inspired for a while, move on and then look for another level of inspiration yet all the while; it’s always with me. This precious life offers so much inspiration if we are willing to do the work and show up particularly when it ain’t easy.
The thing we call inspiration is not outside of ourselves. To me, it’s an internal informant secretly communicating precisely what needs to happen and when. The problem is, sometimes I don’t listen. But when I do, things are more joyful. When I work through practice without over effort, and listen attentively I can activate (as can you) this inner voice of inspiration.
So when I feel inspired by external forces, that’s great! But, I recognize that these forces are not the solution they simply help me tap into myself on a deeper level. Looking beyond myself for something that lies inside is worthless. Pulling up the weeds of emotional darkness or digging down into the holes of emptiness or composting the psychological scraps is what cultivates a rich garden. The work I do on my cushion, on my mat and in my relationships, is what inspires me. I am inspired every day by my students, teachers, and all the children in the world. With your support, we can all bear fruit from the seeds we sow together.
“Do you love this world?
Do you cherish your humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath?
Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden, and softly,
and exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with the white and pink flowers,
with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling
their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are
nothing, forever?”
Mary Oliver
July Reflections 2018
What is the difference between exercising and practicing yoga?
The word yoga means to yoke. It’s a complete conversion with self and the magnificent forces of nature. It’s the action or karma of embodying symbolic archetypes, visualizing, breathing, and becoming more intimate with ourselves and others. It’s difficult to know this however because our marketing culture streamlines and reduces its significance to a mere workout. Seems like, if a person has been practicing yoga for an extended period of time but is a jerk, then they might want to try something else. All kidding aside, the lessons we learn from practice teach us to be kind.
Asanas are the postures we practice and perform as physical exercise to promote health and reduce disease. Ancient texts refer to asana as
“a seat to be held in position that is firm, but relaxed.” After placing my body into positions that cultivate awareness, relaxation and concentration for over twenty years, I did and “do” a lot of asana. However, I feel incomplete without my meditation practice.
We live in a society of “doing” stuff and accomplishing things. Most of our modern western culture meanders along in our busy lives on a particular trajectory whether we strategize or not. Some of us finish high school and go off to college if we are lucky enough to afford it and be interested in it. Some have a family, a career, a partner, responsibilities, setbacks, failures, commitments and great joys. You get the idea.
All this “doing” we accumulate can surely reward us with accomplishments that certainly would not happen without the effort that we put into “doing” but until we stop to embody the posture, deity, sensation or the present moment and until we rest back instead of push forward, we are still just on the treadmill of “doing” and on the road to nowhere.
I am both inspired and committed to the practices of Vajrayana Buddhism as taught by Lama Tsultrim Allione. Very simplified, Vajrayana is the path of transformation. Working with the Mandala principal of transforming encumbered patterns into wisdom has expanded my perspective and offered me more clarity and ease in my everyday life. Sharing them is even better!!!!
As I continue to weave the energies of movement, sound, mantra with meditation and visualization, it feels all-inclusive and complete to me. Asana by itself is only a few pieces in a big box of chocolate.
So next time you tell someone that you “do yoga” think about its meaning and your intention.
June Reflections 2018
I had visions of grandeur this month when I imagined myself writing my monthly missive but presently I have, “writers block”. My elaborate narrative in my mind of course, lies deep in my imagination and has fallen flat.
Oh no…Time is running out because June is coming to an end, I have self inflicted responsibilities that need my attention, my three adult kids have moved home for the summer and require assistance, Trump’s ongoing offensive comments and actions trigger my sensibilities affecting my central nervous system, a friend’s husband is sick and I’m absorbing her sadness, I’m heading out of town on Sunday morning with lots of loose ends to tie up and my mind is spinning out of control with confusing thoughts…Does this busyness sound familiar?
We all get caught up in our own storyline. The never ending “to do list” can take us to the places we don’t want to go! But alas… here we go. It’s the journey of sadness, sorrow, pain, suffering, elation and joy. The answer for me is PAUSE…
I’m heading to Colorado where the sky is vast, open and so blue. Lyle (My husband) and I will be together on a road trip through Sedona, Mesa Verde and Durango. Then I’m off to Tara Mandala solo on retreat.https://taramandala.org
I look forward to relaxing, reflecting and even going to the places that scare me:) I wish you all a joyous summer and beyond.
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win, cause you'll play against you.
All Alone! Whether you like it or not,
Alone you will be something quite a lot.
And when you're alone. There' a very good chance
You'll meet some things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
That can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go, though the weather be foul,
On you will go, though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many a frightening creek,
Though your arms may get sore
And your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike.
And I know you'll hike far
And face up to your problems
Whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
As you already know.
You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure where you step.
Step with care and great tact
And remember that life's a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
By: Dr. Seuss
May Reflections 2018
Yesterday was Saka Dawa, a holy festival on the Tibetan calendar celebrating the birth, death and enlightenment of The Buddha. Any actions done during this time both auspicious and harmful are supposedly multiplied in power. Seems like a good time to cultivate more loving-kindness in our lives.
Shakyamuni Buddha was born Siddhartha Gautama, prince of the Shakyas around 2,500 years ago in (what is now) Nepal. He grew up in luxury with attendants to serve and entertain him.
During his life, the prince, wanderer and ascetic faced the four common sufferings to all people: birth, aging, sickness and death. As he began his search for a solution to human suffering, he renounced his luxurious life style and embarked on a spiritual quest to understand how one could overcome suffering.
For years, he subjected himself to austere practices and ascetic disciplines; fasting and living as a hermit yet found it impossible to reach liberation through self-mortification.
In BodhGaya India where I was fortunate enough to visit a few years ago, he sat under a pipal tree, entered a deep state of meditation and awakened to the true nature of life. It was under this tree that he attained enlightenment through quietude, practice and meditation and then became the Buddha or “Awakened One”.
While remaining under the tree pleased by his liberation but troubled by the perils he now faced in longing to share his wisdom with others, he traveled, promoting peace and compassion teaching people to access their own innate potential to be awake.
In our modern day, extreme circumstances such as luxury and deprivation might offer some insight but through the teachings (Dharma) and my own personal practice it feels like integration and equability in all things is more sustainable. It’s not easy to always be “awake” or fully present or even ” in the moment” despite our best efforts but we can take refugee in both our own and others ambitious attempts to try. I think it’s important to recognize and acknowledge that everyone is doing his or her best.
If collectively we try to do our best in everything, including thought, speech and action we would probably all be a bit more awake to the presence and dignity that surrounds us.
April Monthly Reflections 2018
Perfecting posture for meditation comes not so much by doing but by not doing. Surely we have to put some effort into training the body to sit straight and be aligned. However, after that is accomplished, the next step is to learn to do less, allowing the posture to settle in for meditation and open into a sort of effortless effort. It is an active form of doing nothing, of consciously ceasing to place any effort into the posture. This conscious effort to release any mode of effort can be felt experientially and viscerally. You can know for yourself that this really is an effective, useful, and key principle in developing a sitting posture for meditation, calming the nervous system and an overall metaphor for life.
I am reminded of sutra 2:47 that Patanjali so eloquently compiled for us.
prayatna shaithilya ananta samapattibhyam
This sutra suggests that asanas are attained by a relaxation of effort and by absorption of the unlimited or infinite. I think it also communicates a way of loosening tension, grip or effort in all things. In trying to “do” or accomplish a posture (or anything for that matter) through aggression, we generate a narrow viewpoint and lose sight of the wider perspective. But allowing our attention to merge with the uncontrolled nature of reality provides us access to pure consciousness. It feels limitless and less contracted. I know for myself that when I think I can control a situation, it typically does not go as I anticipated.
I think we all try to control things on a certain level but to what degree can we actually control anything? I was sick with the flu this month for almost 10 days. Like so many it seems, I too fell prey to the “ I’ll recover much faster than most because I’m healthy” attitude. But alas, the flu needed to run it’s course regardless of my wanting to control or change the situation. My will and determination was not going to change anything. So there I was mostly sitting, sleeping, reflecting, and feeling sorry for myself doing absolutely nothing. And in those precious moments I realized that surrender was the only option. Doing nothing was exactly what I was supposed to be doing.
Wishing you optimal health in mind and heart.
March Reflections 2018
The calendar tells us that spring this year started on Tuesday, March 20th. The spring season typically promotes hope, happiness, flowers, optimism and warmth (in temperature and attitude). The season also brings observations of rejuvenation as celebrated in many cultures. So as the sun crosses the equator, it’s important to recognize that we are making a transition rather than marking a specific period in time.
While marking time can be valuable, it also can create anxiety. Most of us feel pressure with a deadline yet inspired by a goal. If we didn’t have these intervals called time, we may not ever hold each other accountable for anything. Conceivably, we might never get to work, school or happy hour “on time.”
While spring has sprung in some parts of the world, the Northeast is stricken with another snowstorm in three weeks affectionately known as the four’easter. I grew up in the northeast and it never felt like spring in March to me. I believe it is essential to consider the subtleties that arise as time passes, light morphs, wrinkles materialize, relationships change, flowers bloom, weeds surface and moods shift. Taking the time we need to observe our own inner climate offers us wisdom. Without inner heeding, our reactions are usually impulsive and unskillful. Ask yourself what is the weather like inside my ever-changing heart-mind?
This time of year also holds certain anticipation. Spring-cleaning perhaps, eradicating what no longer serves us, learning something new, eating fresh seasonal fruits and vegetables, shedding the winter sludge both mentally and physically and basketballJ
March Madness is here! I love basketball for the athleticism but I don’t follow the stats or anything like that. It’s just kinda fun to watch and notice the excitement around it.
I hope Spring 2018 is the beginning of positive change. Winter, in some respects, was a bit bleak…with bombings, more school shootings and the ongoing chaos in the White House (to mention a few). I’m so incredibly proud of all the teenagers who, without hesitation, spoke out and will March for our Lives on Saturday March 24. I am with you in spirit.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
― Margaret Mead
February Reflections 2018
Let go of your worries
Rumi
Let go of your worries
and be completely clear-hearted,
like the face of a mirror
that contains no images.
If you want a clear mirror,
behold yourself
and see the shameless truth,
which the mirror reflects.
If metal can be polished
to a mirror-like finish,
what polishing might the mirror
of the heart require?
Between the mirror and the heart
is this single difference:
the heart conceals secrets,
while the mirror does not.
It seems to me that Rumi is suggesting that we let our hearts reflect who we are and not whom we think we should be or what other people think of us. May we aspire to be “clear-hearted” by asking our heart what sort of “polishing” it needs?
Perhaps, in a compassionate way we can offer it LOVE.
It is through persistent practice, determination and patience that our resolve shifts from the foggy, ambiguous and blurred mirror of our fabricated self to the clarity of bodhicitta or awakened heart-mind.
January Reflections 2018
A few days ago was Martin Luther King Jr.’s Birthday. A man whose life brought hope and healing to America, The timeless values he taught us through his example couldn’t be more poignant and current today than they were back then. The values of courage, truth, justice, compassion, dignity and humility so radiantly define his character. On this Day, we commemorate the universal, unconditional love, forgiveness and non-violence (Ahimsa) that empowered his most revolutionary spirit.
“Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.”
~Martin Luther King Jr.
As we move gingerly into another calendar year, I hope that we can all find the strength and courage to keep our hearts and minds unguarded while we take action for what is right. The time to wake up is now and the simplest gestures toward each other and the planet can make a long-lasting impact. Solidarity offers us the support we need for ultimate liberation or Moksha in Sanskirt. Thank you all for your friendship, love and ongoing support. I feel honored to be your sister of the cosmos.
~Women’s March is this Saturday January 20!
December Reflections 2017
Tomorrow is the winter solstice acknowledging the shortest day and the longest night of the year. The solstice marks the beginning of winter and a rebirth of the sun. Interestingly enough it is one of the oldest known winter celebrations both spiritually and scientifically.
The term solstice is derived from the Latin world "solstitium," which means, "Sun standing still." During this time, the sun ostensibly stands still directly over the Tropic of Capricorn, which is 23.5 degrees south of the equator (which I just learned)
The thought of stillness seems foreign to some as we rush around this time of year purchasing gifts online and off, hustling to events that feel like obligation rather than enthusiasm and consuming way too much of everything. Most of us spend the year in a constant state of busyness so we never really stop to pause and see what is bubbling within. But with the December Solstice energy, we are all given the opportunity to take a peek at what is happening on a heart and soul level by standing still with the sun.
The biblical story of Christmas is also upon us where Mary gives birth to a son named Jesus in a manger and I am reminded of the sweetness and importance of birth, simplicity, the offerings and the miracle of life itself. Stories like this can help us to cultivate a deeper connection to truth, dignity and love.
This has been a most challenging year and I suspect that regardless of your religious beliefs, most would agree that the behaviors of some powerful men in both government and the private sector have acted contrary to the biblical story and its essence of dignity.
May we use this time to slow down, be still and connect to our true essential nature. This is not the story we carry/hold or tell ourselves but the kernel, seed or spore of our spirit. My intention this holiday season is to experience each moment in its form without hurry. I wish you a very joyful solstice and beyond…
Sleeping in the Forest
By Mary Oliver
I thought the earth
remembered me, she
took me back so tenderly, arranging
her dark skirts, her pockets
full of lichens and seeds. I slept
as never before, a stone
on the riverbed, nothing
between me and the white fire of the stars
but my thoughts, and they floated
light as moths among the branches of the perfect trees. All night
I heard the small kingdoms breathing
around me, the insects, and the birds
who do their work in the darkness. All night
I rose and fell, as if in water, grappling
with a luminous doom. By morning
I had vanished at least a dozen times
into something better.
November Reflections 2017
Gratitude is a reminder of the radiant peace that rests at the core of our being. Even in churning confusion, even amidst fear of not having or being enough, even at the bottom of a seemingly boundless pit is that peaceful light. When we strengthen our awareness at that fundamental level, I think we become free to make choices that reflect our true and authentic nature.
As Cliché as it sounds, we all have so much to be grateful for. Life itself is a gift. Slowing down in the midst of the rush is challenging and takes some concentrated effort. But, when we begin to grasp at things beyond our control (which I do) it never seems constructive. Trying to make things different or attempting to manipulate without awareness feels like a calamity. It’s when we pay attention to the moment that is directly in front of us without rush or distraction that is when we can connect more deeply to others and ourselves. That being said, I offer you this poem by Mary Oliver.
Oxygen
Everything needs it: bone, muscles, and even,
while it calls the earth its home, the soul.
So the merciful, noisy machine
stands in our house working away in its
lung-like voice. I hear it as I kneel
before the fire, stirring with a
stick of iron, letting the logs
lie more loosely. You, in the upstairs room,
are in your usual position, leaning on your
right shoulder which aches
all day. You are breathing
patiently; it is a
beautiful sound. It is
your life, which is so close
to my own that I would not know
where to drop the knife of
separation. And what does this have to do
with love, except
everything? Now the fire rises
and offers a dozen, singing, deep-red
roses of flame. Then it settles
to quietude, or maybe gratitude, as it feeds
as we all do, as we must, upon the invisible gift:
our purest, sweet necessity: the air.”
This month offered me time away with my kids, a weekend with old friends in celebration of life, and nourishing time spent in nature. For the first time in a while, I feel re-energized and equipped with vitality to greet the holiday season. I hope to keep it simple this year. And I hope the same for you. My intention is to NOT get caught up in the hustle and excess of the season but to enjoy it for the essence of the spirit. Feel free to remind me and hold me accountable in December.
Wishing you all a very fruitful and joyous Thanksgiving!
September/October Monthly Reflections 2017
The word “Vulnerability” gets tossed around like a football these days. In 1996 Pema Chodron, a beloved contemporary American spiritual leader, activist, and author amongst Buddhist and non-Buddhists alike wrote When things Fall Apart which ignited the necessity to expose ones vulnerability as a method to break through suffering. The book was and continues to be a modern-day offering for working with painful emotions and it helps to communicate and encourage people to open up rather than shut down.
In 2010, Brene Brown’s TED Talk “The Power of Vulnerability” went viral and suddenly it became fashionable to display our vulnerability. And while I understand the simplicity of that statement, the sentiment feels true. Through Brown’s research, she shows that vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging and love (among other things) so we should embrace it! I agree wholeheartedly but I also feel the importance of discernment and selectivity to safeguard us from harmful circumstances. We are all more sensitive and highly affected then we might acknowledge.
What if we could create and cultivate a nourishing veil (so to speak) around ourselves so that we can stay grounded, self regulated and true to what is real? What if our practice offered us access to a safe and comforting internal environment where we could slowly, at our own pace, explore compassion and grace without feeling overwhelmed by our quivering vulnerability.
In recent weeks, we have been barraged by senseless violence, ongoing government chaos, natural disasters and sexual harassment scandals assaulting us from every angle. Even if our lives are not directly disturbed by these events, we are subtly storing this distress inside. It is painful and seemingly unprecedented.
Yoga and meditation offer us comfort, stability and a loving embrace. It is through sustained practice that we begin to see things more clearly, support ourselves and others with more compassion and take wise action when needed. While it takes time and patience, our true nature is revealed which includes being vulnerable yet RESILIENT.
July/ August Reflections 2017
Every summer for the past several years I have intentionally chosen an experience providing challenge and exhilaration. Most of these previous events have included voyages to climb a mountain, traverse across a desert in extreme heat or begin an ascent up a steep rock between two steel cables used as handholds during a lightening storm. This year was a little different…
In an attempt to establish a deeper connection with my 23-year-old son and selfishly wanting to view the eclipse in its totality, I traveled almost 1000 miles in my car to spend a week at The Oregon Eclipse Festival.
While the journey was lengthy, the time spent traveling was memorable with three days in the Trinity Alps where the pristine water from the spring is drinkable and the oxygen feels abundant. We then spent a few nights in Ashland where we took in a delightful play and strolled in Litha Park. What could be more perfect than the last leg of the journey ending in Totality- that point of a solar eclipse when the sun is entirely covered by the moon?
After many hours of waiting in line to enter the festival, my son and I arrived at the Festival 35 miles outside of Prineville Oregon. If you look on a map, it’s called Big Summit Prairie, a privately owned ranch of over 55,000 acres inside the Ochoco National Forest. Yes, it’s out there!
While the sun baked the festival well into the 80’s everyday and an overall pumping sound of deep base permeated the acreage regardless of where you stood, 30 thousand people came together for this event. Most in they’re mid to late twenties but some parents with little kids and a portion of remaining Deadheads all looking for something.
Freedom and love seemed to be the theme of the festival. I often heard a variety of teachers facilitating a class or workshop saying the same thing: “we are all here to release the stagnation in our bodies.” Yet, I witnessed a lot of people hanging out doing nothing except drugs. I can’t pretend to be a saint or behave as if I have never been reckless in my life because I have. But, fantasizing about liberation and deepening consciousness by dropping acid in a dusty parking lot, exposing genitals, dressing funkier than the next guy and listening to really loud music while producing trash in a once unspoiled setting doesn’t feel like the way to cultivate connection or sustainable relationships for me. I can hear myself sounding older.
I would be remiss not to mention the incredible Earth Art that was created for this event. Structures and recycled sculptures including bridges and tree houses surrounded the lake. Happenings of music, dance, yoga, wellness workshops, permaculture, Ayurveda, nutrition and much more were continuous all day and night. The sun exposure, dust and wind were elements to combat each day. The stimulus was extreme and intense.
So yes, this summer I challenged myself. I was able to use the tools that I have refined over my 20 years of practice to stay centered and above all with my own experience rather than be judgmental and critical. There are many ways to find liberation and even “to free stagnation” but I don’t think Festivals are for me. I enjoy stillness and quiet that allows me space to feel what is occurring whether it is joy or sorrow.
On the day of the eclipse, I felt a sense of benevolence and a swarm of lights shining against the oncoming darkness. The atmosphere became cold and dark. I felt a loving closeness with my son yet an inevitable divide too. As the the moon slowly passed in front of the sun we were one for a short time, but now I realize he needs to keep moving without my penetrating light behind him.
"When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
Age of Aquarius
Aquarius
Aquarius
Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius
Aquarius"
June Reflections 2017
As I kid, I have some fond memories of summertime growing up on the east coast. It was hot and humid from sunrise to sunset. Catching fireflies in a glass jar at night while gazing up at the evening sky with a free and easy spirit was pervasive. Time has changed and life feels a lot different after living in California for 30 years.
June offers a sort of excitement and transformation as we move from the busy-ness of a school year or work cycle to a more relaxed schedule. The days are longer, the scholastic grip to “get ahead” seems to wane and the gardens are abundant with sumptuous fruit and vegetables for our nourishment. I feel fortunate and recognize that so many do not have the privilege of time or abundance.
I had the great pleasure to be in the presence of the Dalai Lama at UCSD few weeks ago. While I was restless to arrive exceptionally early for optimal seating, the rest of my friends and my 23 year old son were less enthusiastic about the early influx, yet they humored me by capitulating as we arrived a few hours before the presentation.
His Holiness spoke on the topic of “Embracing the Beauty of Diversity in our World.” As I have had time to reflect, I acknowledge that the human race is astonishingly diverse. Gender, ethnic backgrounds, race, class, religion, nationality, sexuality, philosophy and lifestyle are just some. And, the areas in which we differ are never-ending. Yet, at a basic level, we are all of the same species. We experience highs and lows in life and do our best to find happiness and fulfillment. Our common joys, pains and despairs bring us together, but diversity is what makes us unique.
Honestly, the title of His Holiness’s public talk could have been anything because his message to spread peace, compassion and kindness is always the prevailing theme. One in which I could hear over and over again because we all need to hear this message. May we all have the patience to look beyond ourselves and share this message of love, kindness and compassion regardless of our unique differences. And may the privilege of time and abundance be shared with those who have less than us.
May Reflections 2017
This month delivered a particular preciousness to the atmosphere. More rain has fallen this year than I can ever remember and the air is fresh, flowers are blooming and the weeds are ubiquitous. While we are always faced with obstacles, both substantial and trifling, I can’t help but feel the potential that exists everywhere. When we settle into the potentiality of our true nature, the awakened heart-mind arises and provides us with wisdom.
As most of us speed through our frenetic lifestyle searching, grasping, coveting, embellishing and perhaps just getting by, we forget that what we need most is at the center of our inner landscape. Sometimes it’s frustrating for me to think of all the time I wasted looking outside myself and (continue to do so), when it’s actually right here inside me (and you too).
I just returned from a week at Tara Mandala, a Buddhist Retreat Center in Pagosa Springs Colorado. 15 students and myself leaped into a rich practice of transformation by working with the Mandala as a symbol of the psyche. Through visualization, mantra, mudra and sensory awareness, we investigated that inner landscape. At times I felt overwhelmed by the weeds of my own overgrowth but trust prevailed and ultimately, it all felt joyful and liberating. While we worked with art, sound and the elements in nature as a way of connecting more deeply to ourselves, sweet relationships developed and compassion irrigated those connections.
My/our practice thus continues, and actually never ends, it only changes. With a deep appreciation for all my incredible students and those willing to be curious, change, grow and learn with me, I bow. Without you, I would have no canvas to paint on and explore any landscape at all. Your inquiries and openness keeps me studying practicing and laughing.
So off the mat, off the cushion and into our lives we wholeheartedly participate in all the possibilities of maintaining the connection to our true essential nature, Purusha (Sanskrit) or Primordial Wisdom as we recognize that it is palpable. In fact, one mind training technique called a slogan says this…
“In post meditation, be a child of illusion.”
This suggests that we often stumble along within an environment that we recognize to be dubious and illusory. So rather than trying to make our world solid and predictable, and complaining when that is not the case, we could maintain the glimpses of the illusory nature of experience that arise in meditation practice, and touch into that open illusory quality in the midst of our daily activities. A less tight and more open quality is the ground on which the compassionate actions of the bodhisattva (awakened heart-mind) can and will arise.
April Monthly Reflections 2017
Politically our country continues to be divided and an underlining chorus of fear, distrust and animosity prevails in the mainstream media and beyond. It’s despairing and feels a bit overwhelming sometimes, yet I am still hopeful. Love is greater than fear and ignorance. People are kindhearted and insights are everywhere. Before reacting with aggression, perhaps we can try to stop, sense, and act with discernment for the benefit of all (Viveka Khyati).
A positive outcome from the recent rainstorms brought an abundance of jubilant wild flowers and clean air to our neighboring areas this month. Spring has sprung and the drought in California is officially over! Pure water, clean air and quality of life are elements that I never want to take for granted. They nurture our vital force and support our daily existence. When I consider the gift of being able to share resources and basic humanity with all of human kind, I am reminded of one of my favorite Yoga Sutras:
maitri karuna mudita upekshanam sukha duhka punya apunya vishayanam bhavanatah chitta prasadanam
In relationships, the mind becomes purified by cultivating feelings of friendliness towards those who are happy, compassion for those who are suffering, goodwill towards those who are virtuous, and indifference or neutrality towards those we perceive as wicked or evil.
Regardless of our background/history/ views, we all have more room for compassion and understanding. Remember, one never knows how much someone else is suffering.
I dedicate this piece to Catharine Chichakian who affected so many lives and brought so many lives into the world and into our community. May she rest in everlasting peace.
March Reflections 2017
March is the month of re-birth and growth. As the light changes and flowers bloom, it feels celebratory. As we shift from winter into spring a time where the sun crosses the celestial equator, when day and night are approximately of equal length my own vitality changes too. I’m grateful because I was feeling a bit sluggish.
Interestingly enough, March is the time of Navratri, a celebration of the divine feminine for 9 days in India. Typically three deities (Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati are represented as symbols of three dimensions of the feminine. Simultaneously, they also represent the three basic qualities of existence or “Gunas.” These Gunas are Tamas (darkness, destructive, chaotic), Rajas (passion, action, confusion) and Sattva (goodness, constructive, harmonious). All three of these Gunas are present in everyone and everything. One might consider Gunas analogous to that of our personality or innate nature.
When we are able to connect with nature and acknowledge that we are nature, this is union or Yoga. Earth is Tamas, Sun is Rajas and Moon is Sattva. Balancing the ever-changing virtues of our existence is ongoing and can be challenging. Yet, I think that it is through self-compassion and kindness towards others that real steadiness ensues; steadiness or balance that is shouting for our deepest consideration. Consideration of these matters offers spaciousness for all the qualities of our existence without judgment or criticism.
Dr. Dianne Sterling and I embarked upon another Mindfulness Yoga for Trauma course last night. As 13 exquisitely courageous people arrived, I was reminded again that together we must draw upon these qualities of existence for our own nourishment because we need all three of them. To nourish doesn’t mean attaining power or control it’s actually more about discovering liberation.
February Reflections 2017
Life is a limitless transition. I’m intrigued by how many transitions we make in a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime. It’s always occurring yet we often don’t even notice or pay attention. Some of the most poignant moments in my life occur amid the space between movement and stillness. It feels like a sort of intermission and an opportunity to reflect my own scattered thoughts that often block a state of clear, unattached awareness. An awareness that I know already exists yet oftentimes not paid attention to. Maybe it’s because I am distracted and my senses feel violated? What about you?
The presidential election results were and continue to be a colossal transition for most of us. It’s painful to have our senses bombarded with fear and anger on a daily basis. It’s hard for me not to have empathy for those that live in distress and trepidation about their future. Some days I feel horrified by the latest political antics but then joyful watching our nation come together in solidarity. I relish in the humor that SNL and Full Frontal provide but it’s embarrassingly so close to the truth that I pause and feel disheartened.
My husband and I lost our friend Rob last month. He died whilst surfing from a heart attack. While I can’t imagine a more appropriate setting for him to pass, it felt way too soon. He was an iconic waterman. Kind and intelligent, he leaves behind his wife and two children. We will miss him. Death is the ultimate transition and we don’t know when, where or how it will present it’s self. When someone we care about passes away, it makes us more aware of our own mortality. Transitioning from this life to the unknown is mysterious.
Transitions are pervasive and there is no way around them. So whether we are resting or uneasy in the presence of now, consider some investigation. Through Svadhyaya or self-study in Sanskrit, we consciously observe our internal atmosphere rather than ignore it. Watch the changes of our personal barometer and the movements of our sensations. Be sensitive and use discernment. What is the weather like in there? It could be very interesting to notice without judgment or criticism and perhaps offer some new meaningful insights.
The Journey
By Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice – - -
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations – - -
though their melancholy
was terrible.It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do – - – determined to save
the only life you could save.
January 2017 Reflections
Last Saturday at the Women’s March in San Diego and around the globe was an inspiration for all. It wasn’t just women. It was a diverse crowd walking peacefully in solidarity. It was energetic and calm at the same time. I experienced people being thoughtful and making an effort to be kindhearted amongst the hoards of individuals. People were intelligent, kind, compassionate, friendly and not angry or aggressive in any way.
Margaret Wheatley (writer, teacher, activist) wrote, “There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about.”
People indicated that they cared about a plethora of issues carrying signs and supporting human rights. Some signs were painfully serious; some were humorous and some truthfully horrifying. But, everyone shared the common thread of support for humanity. It was a beautiful display of democracy. Yesterday, I heard Governor Jerry Brown deliver his State of the State address. It too was equally poignant as he quoted from Woody Guthrie’s song:
This Land is Your Land.
Nobody living can ever stop me,
As I go walking that freedom highway;
Nobody living can ever make me turn back
This land was made for you and me.
Governor Brown said, “ California is not turning back. Not now, not ever.”
Change is certain but boundless opportunities are omnipresent. I may not be able to do something BIG but what if we all can do something small. Don’t be afraid to speak up, protect the environment and human rights. Be kind! Most importantly, lets not normalize horrendous behavior. Remember, some things are NOT ok.
The New Year began for me with an intimate gathering of friends and family. I ripened one year older as I seem to do every year in January. Then a few days in the Eastern Sierras offered the Winter Wonderland that I often miss living in Southern California. A deep appreciation for the mountains and the beauty of Mother Nature still penetrates my bones. I also spent a week in Big Sur where I learned a few things that I had not expected to learn. From the Mountains to the Oceans, the vastness of our own awakening is nearby. May we all be activists and environmentalists respecting and standing up for the world we so appreciate and care about. The recent rain is a symbol of growth and change. As we slowly make our way out of this long dry drought, I am optimistic that the voices of democracy will be heard and that true peace will prevail for all beings everywhere.
December Reflections 2016
Tis the season again…I began stuffing holiday cards into envelops as I have done for the past 19 years when all of a sudden it felt pretty superficial. Call me Grinch but sending off cards with “LOVE, PEACE and JOY” plastered all over the front page didn’t represent how I’m currently feeling. Of course, I am grateful for my life, family and friends but disappointed with the direction that our country may be headed. Too early to tell but indicators are significant and choices are being made. There is sadness in the atmosphere that can’t be denied. Below are a few points that come up for me as we move forward into a New Year and leave this one behind.
It is my sincere hope that peace prevails and that globally we stand together free from greed, hatred and cruelty.
All life is one
Never undervalue what other people are going through
Kindness is the greatest religion irrespective of your beliefs
You can love someone from a distance
Floss…it works!
Not everyone will “like” you
It’s impossible to feel good all the time so find ease in discomfort
It’s healthy to agree to disagree
Refined Sugar is unsympathetic
Humor is healing
Yoga is the art of self-healing, be gentle in your practice
War is senseless
Finding your passion is overrated
Drink moderately
Eat the most wholesome food you can afford
Be as close to nature as often as possible
Don’t litter…Ever!
Listen to your intuition…it’s usually right
Take time for silence, every day
Contemplate others more than yourself
Walk, Run, Dance, and Move it feels good
Embrace the Earth…it’s our mother
This body is a rental so don’t get too attached
November Reflections 2016
"Integrity is when I do what I know to be right, even if no one else will ever find out."
Less then one week after the election, dazed and perplexed from the results, I joyfully attended a Dharma Talk given by Sharon Salzberg, one of America’s most beloved meditation teachers. She emphasized the importance of ascertaining “the fundamentals” which resonates with me. In times of turbulence and greater uncertainty, it’s essential to back up, slow down and practice the fundamentals that our practice is built upon. In our culture, we have a funny distaste for studying the basics. Truthfully, most of us associate that with a sign of weakness. It might sound rudimentary or too easy to competitive types (myself included). But the reality is, the fundamentals are the essential pieces of any practice regardless of how long you have been at it. When life throws us uncertainty (which is ever changing and constant) we can be prepared to handle it because we have embraced the fundamental skills. Observation of our breath, Body Scan or standing in Tadasana and other standing poses that promote earth element are what nurture us. Never underestimate the power of a “simple practice.” Practicing Metta or loving-kindness is an anecdote to fear Sharon suggested. Next time you feel angry or fearful offer kindness and observe your breath then see what happens. You might be surprised that it too passes.
A few weeks ago, I offered a workshop to a group of delightful students at Yoga Del Mar. The theme was Gratitude and its message appeared to be extremely necessary during these times of uncertainty. I taught gentle backbends which open the chest cavity and create space around the diaphragm. On a physical level, opening the region in and around the diaphragm rebalances the autonomic nervous system, aids in digestion and reduces tension in the neck and shoulders. But more subtly, backbends offer us an undeniable energetic pulse. Tapping into the frequency of back bending is a gift. If we focus less on performance and maintain a vigilance of consciousness there is more sovereignty in any pose. Do we practice for exercise, ego or other?
Exercise is great…don’t misunderstand me. I have been active all my life and hope to continue if my body cooperates. However, if we consider ourselves like an ever-changing moving puzzle, there are many pieces. Exercise is only a piece of the puzzle though. It functions as a vital component in our overall maintenance and lifestyle. While asana, the third limb of eight (or a piece of the puzzle so to speak) is physical, we can consider approaching it with a more expansive view. Asana or poses help blood flow and promote circulation, digestion and lymph health. They can move energy and change your mood. They build strength and flexibility but I think more and encourage you to investigate the endless possibilities.
Ego is great too! We wouldn’t motivate without it. But, when we use ego to feed our lives, and our concerns are filled with how the shape of our bodies appears, we move away from yoga. Showing off externally through poses or other means just builds ego and takes us away from the presence of who we are. This behavior actually takes us away from ourselves and out of yoga.
The workshop closed with much needed Restorative poses. Rest and Reflect is the medicine we all need right now. As we approach Thanksgiving remember that Gratitude is “a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of benefit that one has received or will receive.” Be kind and create space to process and reflect.
"Gratitude is a reminder of the radiant peace that is at our core. Even in swirling confusion, even amidst tremendous fear of not having or being enough, even at the bottom of this seemingly endless pit is that peaceful light. When we strengthen our awareness of that center of being, we become free to make choices that reflect that nature."
Jean Baptiste Massieu
October Reflections 2016
With only a week before one of the most controversial elections of all times, the importance of truth feels like an important subject. Satya is the Sanskrit word for truth. It often refers to virtue or being truthful in one's thought, speech and action. It is the virtuous restraint from falsehood and distortion of reality in one's expressions and actions. It seems so simple and straightforward yet most of us have a difficult time grasping these concepts.
One academic study found that humans lie 10 times a week. We lie because we want to appear more confident or we think it makes someone else feel better. Children and young adults often lie in hopes of feeling more accepted and included. But the interesting statistic is that deception prevents us from cultivating intimacy. Intimacy offers us that tenderness that most of us crave in a relationship. It is the driving force for lasting connections. So what we desire most, we dodge.
Sadly, we start to believe our own lies. What would happen if we were all more authentic and real? What does that even look like? Incidentally, when researchers refer to lying, they don't include the mindless pleasantries or polite equivocations we offer each other in passing, such as "I'm fine, thanks" or "No trouble at all." An "official" lie actually misleads, deliberately conveying a false impression. So complimenting a friend's tragic new shirt or offering to pay the bill when you have no money, doesn't even count.
Radical self-honesty has its difficulties and sometimes pausing is a good answer. Our practice offers us so much truth and pause if we take the time to notice. Instead of over exertion, use support. Rather than physically approach your practice, watch what happens when you don’t get attached to the outcome. Commit to a practice of exploring your true (real) self in relationship to the world around you and not separate. It is not always about just ourselves. Be careful of mistaken awareness and spiritual bypassing.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not the truth. “
Marcus Aurellius
Remember; if you are over 18 you have the right to VOTE!
September Reflections 2016
"There is a harmony in autumn, and a lustre in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!" ― Percy Bysshe Shelley
Today is the Autumnal Equinox when light and darkness are approximately the same. But not for long as the earth never stops moving around the sun. Amongst the movement, “harmony” is a feeling that we all aspire to experience in our lives. Many cultures and religions celebrate holidays and festivals around the September Equinox. It is a time to respect the impending dark while giving thanks to the sunlight. It’s a good time to enact rituals for protection and security as well as reflect on successes or failures from the past months.
Please consider the challenges of those that are deeply suffering all over the world. Cultivate compassion as we strengthen the resolve of leaders to help end the fighting and choose a future of PEACE and harmony.
August Reflections 2016
Ouch…stung by a bee! I would have predicted that would happen while in the mountains a few weeks ago but instead it occurred on the patio outside my home last week. It’s been a long time since I was stung and I don’t remember having an allergic type of response. My arm swollen and fiery, I watched the symptoms slowly decrease. It’s another reminder that everything is impermanent and somewhat unpredictable.
Nestled in the deep forest of the Trinity Alps in Northern California where bears are contemporaneous with campers and yellow jackets are ever-present, I spent five restful days with my husband Lyle and our dear friends Jim and Stephanie. Our friends bought this special property 25 years ago (when I was 25) and have been cultivating the area ever since. They now own additional property where they raise cattle and chickens producing grass-fed meat, organic chickens and eggs. During our stay, we picked berries and baked a cobbler in their wood fired outdoor oven. They have a natural spring running through the property, which provides pure running water. It’s quite magical so my description can’t begin to describe the surrounding beauty. I returned unscathed with fond memories and a lingering freshness for the great outdoors.
Now at home nursing my puffed-up arm (better now), I miss the preciousness of being in nature. Nature provides a doorway into ourselves where time feels limitless and moments alone and together feel stress-free, carefree and tranquil. Sharing food and drinks, swimming in streams, hiking and undertaking puzzles has a certain simplicity that generates effortlessness. Nature provides a calm abiding or Shamayta in Sanskrit that gets misplaced in our everyday lives. Being surrounded by nature makes me feel alive and uninhibited.
Fall is a wonderful time of year. For me, it always feels like a new beginning. A shift in the surrounding light, the change of colors from the leaves on the trees, the shorter days, the kids going back to school and people just seem less guarded and even vulnerable. I am no exception…
I started teaching a new class on Monday nights (5:30pm) at Yoga Del Mar: Sorrento Valley. The studio is a nice clean open space with fresh new props and new faces. It feels like the beginning of a new school year. Come and check it out!
May we all” FALL” into something new with a fresh perspective and simultaneously be supported by our inner wisdom. In his poem
Rilke suggests with imagery, the power for spiritual potential or awakening. When he mentions “ leaves”, he isn't describing them in a purely physical or graphic sense; he treats them with an existential understanding. There is more to autumn than the turning of leaves on earth— "as if orchards were dying high in space” Rilke's contemplation on seasonal change is a reflection on what lies beyond us, or perhaps deep within us — the falling feeling of aloneness and the gravity of life itself. But if this is a poem about gravity and resistance, it's also one of buoyancy and release. "We're all falling," he writes — the leaves, the stars, the earth — swirling out of control yet surrounded by something, or "Someone," of infinite calm.
'Autumn' by Rainer Maria Rilke
The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up,
as if orchards were dying high in space.
Each leaf falls as if it were motioning "no."
And tonight the heavy earth is falling
away from all other stars in the loneliness.
We're all falling. This hand here is falling.
And look at the other one. It's in them all.
And yet there is Someone, whose hands
infinitely calm, holding up all this falling.
July Reflections 2016
I just returned from two precious weeks in Colorado. The vast open sky is what touches me most. There is a quality of wide openness amongst the surrounding nature that carries me back year after year. Living in Southern California, we rarely experience a rainstorm with thunder and lightning like those on a summer night in Colorado. The sky is cobalt blue and filled with white fluffy clouds that seem almost unreal at a glance yet they are so perfectly formed like illustrations from a children’s book.
I landed in Durango to spend the first six days at Blue Lake Ranch for Patricia Walden’s annual retreat. This is the fourth-consecutive year that I have attended. Almost all of the attendees are long time students of Iyengar Yoga and/or teachers of Iyengar Yoga. And, It is with great respect that I humbly bow to the teachings of B.K.S Iyengar. These teachings have brought intelligence to my own yoga practice; they have facilitated my efforts to help others, and they have provided a system for yoga asana to be accessible for ALL through the brilliant use of props.
Iyengar students and teachers alike are serious. They spend countless years studying and practicing mostly asana and the yoga sutras of Patanjali. The path which most take is that of “assessment. “
The eligibility for the preliminary assessment (introductory level 1 and 2) is demanding and includes prerequisites for all candidates. Candidates for assessment must be current members of the Iyengar Yoga National Association, which includes a fee. Candidates must have two certified teachers recommending them and a minimum of three years of continuous practice and study. Candidates must also have the required teacher education training approved through IYNAUS. All assessments include a written test as well as teaching a mock class with unknown students in the presence of at least three certified teachers. The requirements increase significantly, as the certification level becomes more advanced.
My path in practicing yoga has been broader based and I have opted to incorporate a number of different disciplines and modalities in my practice and teaching. Being an “outsider” at an Iyengar retreat resulted in some interesting observations. Patricia Walden is an inspiration at almost 70 years of age. She eloquently holds the space for practice and communicates her wisdom as taught by the Iyengar family. In a class of almost 50 very qualified participants, there is a natural desire to seek the “guru’s” attention. I felt myself fall prey to this desire and had to work through various emotions when I didn’t receive an expected degree of attention. In the end, I came to appreciate being outside (or on the periphery) of the circle. Letting go of my desire for the teacher’s attention allowed a greater space to observe the boundaries of the “circle”. As well, it allowed more freedom to contemplate the benefits and drawbacks of being in or out of the “circle”. As the week progressed, I felt quenched with asana and pranayama practice and I enjoyed being on the periphery.
I am very lucky to have my dear friend Dana who every year so graciously allows me to stay in her carriage house. It is always refreshing to reconnect with her. I also spent time with my friend Nan who lives in Durango and attends the retreat. With both friends, we seamlessly are able to pick up our conversations wherever we left off without hesitation.
The Dharma suggests the Buddhist concept of Shunyata or often translated as emptiness. It refers to all things as empty of intrinsic existence and nature. The spaciousness that I began to feel was only a warm-up for what was to come.
After Durango, I spent six days at Tara Mandala. This scenic Tibetan Buddhist retreat Center is located just outside Pagosa Springs where the sky appears even bigger and the stars at night are magnificent. In Buddhism the sacred mandala is one of the richest visual objects. The physical shape of a mandala is like a circle, a series of points bounded by one line. A ‘circle’ might open or expand to create more space inside or be supported from the space that surrounds it. But if the circle is tightly closed there is no opportunity for anything to penetrate the shell. The Mandala of the Enlightened Feminine is expansive in nature and a core teaching at the retreat center.
My friend and teacher Sue invited me to go with her as a representative for our small San Diego Sangha. Two years ago, I received a “Green Tara” teaching via webcast from Lama Tsultrim Allione, the founder and spiritual director at Tara Mandala and have been practicing ever since but I am a beginner. The enormity and complexity of the teachings and meditation practices is beyond narrative. There are rituals, visualizations, mantra, mudra and way more substance that aid in cutting through the ego and helping to resolve inner conflict but I don’t have enough experience to properly explain the path. What I can wholeheartedly say is that it is fascinating.
Once again, I found myself in the company of teachers. The retreat was chock-full of scholarly sorts from all over the world. Feeling a bit intimidated at times, I attentively listened to a variety of Dharma talks delivered by the teachers who were presenting to the group. The discussions were both stimulating and thought provoking. Lama Tsultrim offered warm advice and wisdom. She weaved her personal experiences into her knowledge of historical facts. The days were full with meditation and teachings leaving not much time for anything else besides eating and sleeping.
